Tag Archives: tragic

The Fab Five, Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Creepin

Here’s to the guy who tried so hard to dance with my roomie when we went to down town Fullerton for her birthday the other Saturday. I am not a fan of down town Fullerton and this weekend did not convince me otherwise, but there was some good entertainment. There we were in bar, and us girls, the usual Fab Five plus a couple more, were dancing on the dance floor while the boyfriends were posted up at the bar keeping an eye on us. As I was looking back from checking where the boys were, I saw him. He was dancing alone, which I guess wouldn’t be so weird except for the fact that he was really alone. He was just grooving all by himself with his long, greasy hair, leather jacket, harem pants, and combat boots. It was quite the ensemble. I noticed this guy getting closer and closer to my roomie, who was pretty tipsy by this point. We could all tell that he wanted to dance with her, but she kept putting her back to him because even slightly intoxicated, her inhibitions told her that this guy was weird. She made it obvious she didn’t want to dance.
Finally this guy got brave and got in front of my roomie. She didn’t know what to do with this confrontation so she kept dancing. Suddenly he picked her up, put her legs around him, and bent her over and started grinding, conveniently holding her up with his hands under her butt. None of us knew what to do so we just stared. He brought her back up and she looked so shocked and we all started laughing. T being her usual self, pulls her phone out and asked him if he could do it again. With no hesitation he grabs my roomie again and picks her up while T snaps pictures. It had to be the funniest and boldest thing we had seen. We promptly left soon after that leaving the guy behind wondering what he did wrong.

He moved so fast that these were the only pictures we got…

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The Fab Five, Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Keep Your Heels On

Rule number one: YOU DO NOT TAKE YOUR HEELS OFF! Classy girls keep their heels on. Just like when T and I walked 0.6 miles in Pasadena in our heels like I talked about in the last post. We were at K’s wedding this past Saturday and it was dancing time.

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We were all a tad intoxicated. Side note: I highly suggest to NOT mix tequila, vodka, wine, and champagne all in the same night. I was not feeling too hot yesterday. But that is neither here nor there, this tragic short is about A. A is probably one of the classiest girls we all know, yet she is the one who takes her heels off. She took her heels off at her bachelorette party and walked the streets of down town Palm Springs barefoot. Saturday she took her heels off and went back on the dance floor. Mind you she only does this when she is drunk, yet she still shines with class. Here is to A!

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Boys Logic

#boyslogic- “because it bugs you”

Lately I have been going crazy thinking that my boyfriend doesn’t want to kiss me anymore or doesn’t like to. I mean it is like breaking his arm to get a kiss hello! When I finally get one it is like not meaningful at all. This has been seriously bothering me. I keep thinking I did something wrong, or maybe I try to kiss him too much and he wants his space?

That must be it, I am kissing him too much.

That’s okay, I can lay off.

I mean even though I don’t want to.

But like who doesn’t like kissing?

Let alone, who doesn’t like kissing me?

It’s okay, next time I see him I will let him kiss me first.

Alright I’m here! Just waiting for my kiss…

…Still waiting…

Boyfriend: “What are you making for dinner?”

WHAAAAT?! He asks me what I am making for dinner and he hasn’t even given me a kiss hello yet?! (metaphorical steam coming out of my ears- imagine it)

Fine. You want freaking DINNER?! I’ll make it, but not happily! I’ll show him an unhappy dinner. Frozen, cardboard, pizza crap!

Then he says: “You don’t even kiss me anymore.”

I just stare at him. ARE YOU KIDDING?!

The next week we went to Target to grocery shop and I waited for my kiss. He didn’t give me one first so I decided ill just get one myself. So I do. Then complain that he doesn’t like to kiss me anymore. He put’s his arm around me and says, “No, I just do it because it bugs you.”

#boyslogic

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Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Stalker Fail

The guy my roomie was dating broke it off with her about two months ago for idiotic reasons. Whatever, he doesn’t deserve my amazing roommate, but she was sad about it and occasionally still is. She should not waste sadness on a douche-wad like him. Anyways, recently she was stalking him, like she shouldn’t have been, on Instagram. I wasn’t home, which is probably why she did it, because I would have told her not to. As punishment for her sneakily stalking him, she dropped her phone. This wasn’t any drop though. You see, she was lying down while she was stalking him, on her back. So where would she have dropped her phone? She dropped it on her face, resulting in her liking one of his pictures, WITH HER FACE. When she told me I laughed so hard! That would happen to her. I told her that’s what she gets for stalking.
As karma goes, two weeks ago my roomies ex from almost a year ago liked one of her pictures from 42 weeks ago. He was clearly stalking. Who just scrolls down the news feed back 42 weeks? The moral of the story here, don’t stalk on your phone while lying on your back.

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Psycho Girls

PMS- Psycho, Mad, Sad

Us girls all know that when you hang out with your girlfriends often, you all start to get on the same track, do you know what I mean? Eventually all of your special girl times will be right around the same time, especially if you’re roommates. My roomie and I are right on schedule with each other. It was so funny because last month our group of five, aka- the Fab 5, all of us and our boys got together for “Friendsgiving” and literally all of us were on our time of the month. One of the girl’s husbands heard and said, “Oh my god you girls are all PMSing together!” His wife quickly corrected him saying PMS is pre and we are passed that part, to which he responded, “Fine then you are all MSing together.” Boys logic.

PMS 1

Anyways we are about in the pre time again and my roommate and I were texting back and forth today about how we were sad for no real reasons. She was saying how she is the only one without a guy and I had this absurd idea that my boyfriend didn’t even like me anymore. I mean he didn’t even text me back for like two and a half hours. I soon found out that he was in a meeting with his district manager. I then realized that I needed to snap out of my little funk because I was being a typical girl. PMS should really stand for Psycho, Mad, Sad because that is literally our cycle that recurs again and again until our time is up. We will be perfectly normal, then we will get a psycho girl thought like our boyfriend isn’t texting us back because he doesn’t like us anymore, then we get mad at our boyfriends for not texting us back, then we get really sad that he doesn’t like us anymore. After this cycle we calm down when we find out he was in a work meeting the whole time and are calm until the next incident sets us off.

PMS 2

I was watching a comedian on Netflix the other night with my boyfriend and he said that girls are like rescued dogs and they need to keep them calm or they will get set off. I thought that was really funny because it is kind if true. We are not crazy, we just get an excuse to be psycho for a week without getting institutionalized. Boys it is best to just do what we say and get us chocolate and tell us that we are pretty.

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad….. Okay I’m happy now.

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Tragic Award

A New Level of Tragic

I made a dead animal deader! You wouldn’t think it was possible but I did it! I was driving home tonight and the car in front of me instead of swerving around the animal like a normal person, they went over it so it went through the middle of their tires, leaving me no time to swerve, so I hit it! I am a horrible person! I keep referring to the animal as “it” because I don’t even want to admit what it was, either a dog or a coyote, I’ve convinced myself that it was a coyote, which is still awful. I was so scared to get home and look at the front of my car. What if I had a crime scene up there?! Oh my gosh! Luckily there was nothing, but still, I HIT AN ANIMAL. The poor guy couldn’t be dead in peace, noo it had to be hit again for good measure.

I win the tragic award this time.

This is what my sister had to say, and yes I call her Noodle…
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The Fab Five, Tragic events

Tragic Trippin

About a week ago I got to get dressed up with my four girlfriends, we call ourselves the Fab Five, and we went to support our sorority as respected alumnae at their philanthropy event: Theta Beta’s Sigma Kappa Ultra Violet Casino Night. It was fun to go to but the part we loved the most was dressing up, as usual. One of my girls and I are pretty much known as legends in our sorority, not to toot our own horn but toot-toot, because I was President and she was Executive Vice President and we made an amazing team together. I am not over exaggerating either, one of the girls told my dad this at Casino Night. Anyways after a night of faux blackjack and we felt that we had made a long enough appearance and took the appropriate amount of cute pictures in front of the letters, we left for the next portion of the night.

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We were all going to head to a bar in the next city over but first I had to go pick up my boyfriend from daycare, aka- friends house where I dropped him off to watch the USC vs. UCLA game. As expected he was drunk already and by the time we made it to the bar he was asleep in the car. He woke right up though and was ready for a drink. We got inside and found the girls whose boyfriends and one husband also met up. My boyfriend asked what I wanted to drink and I said a Dirty Shirley which he responded to quite loudly that I wanted a whore. Like I said, he was drunk. One of the other girls had one and it was a nice small drink which was perfect because I was driving. Finally when he turned around with my drink it was in a straight up goblet. I asked him what he ordered?! He said that he told the bartender that he wanted a Dirty Shirley and to make her dirty, which is why I am assuming she gave him a giant one. There was no way I was going to be able to drink all of it and drive home so it became a group thing with my roomie and one of the other girls.

Dirty Shirley

After drinking my very Dirty Shirley we decided it was time to go as did everyone else. We would all see each other the next day anyways for our Friendsgiving. I drove my boyfriend and I back to my place, where he sat in the back so he could pretend I was a chauffeur, and he fell asleep again. By this time I had been in my heels for hours and my feet were in pain so I was so happy to finally be home. We were almost there, almost to the door when it happened. Mayday-mayday I was going down and I couldn’t stop it. My heel went on a wet leaf, which then slid into the drain in the parking lot and I ate it. I couldn’t catch my balance because I was holding my purse and another bag so I went right down on my knee. The drunk, non-helping boyfriend laughed and then asked if I was okay, and then laughed again. Bruised and bleeding, I would be the SOBER one who falls down. Typical Tragic Girl.

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Style, Tragic Award

Tragic Award- Hot Grandma

I went into the gas station this morning to get a coffee, or really my usual concoction consisting of about two shots of coffee, a 3 second push of hot cocoa, the then rest filled with vanilla cappuccino (it’s quite delightful), and in the gas station I saw a sight. Such a sight that I must share. Picture this… An old woman, like old, with bleach blond and/or white frizzy hair. She was wearing black sheer tights with usual grandma sandals. BUT she was sporting a tight black mini skirt with a pink tank. In this tank were two HUGE boobs that literally hung to her elbows. On top of all this was big, chunky, turquoise jewelry all around her neck and wrists. I just couldn’t understand and not to mention couldn’t stop staring. She wins the tragic award of the day!

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Style

Stop The Crop

Sometimes I have to wonder what some people see when they look in their mirror or if they even bother to look in one at all. You should know your body type and what looks good on it since its your own body you walk around in everyday, yet some people seem confused. The biggest offender of this, besides my last rant about leggings, is the crop top. The last couple of years these have gotten very popular. But just because it’s popular does not mean that everyone has to wear them. This is an article of clothing that CANNOT be worn by everyone. Considering the amount of coverage that a crop provides means that only certain body types should wear them.
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This will be brutally honest but if you need to ask if the crop top you’re trying on makes you look fat, then it’s probably because you look fat. Just the thought of you thinking you look slightly fat means that yes you do look fat and you are looking for someone to tell you that you don’t and then you can wear the crop top when you know you shouldn’t. I mean your friend told you that you don’t look fat so that means you’re not because why would she lie to you, she is you friend. The truth is that it’s hard to find a friend that will tell you the truth that you look fat when you do.
If a crop top is going to be worn it needs to be paired with high-waisted bottoms. They just don’t look good with low cut pants or shorts and your gut hanging out over them. There needs to be a stop to the crop, a stop to the cascading rolls over waist lines. This is not being mean, this is for your own good to save you from embarrassment. Remember, flat equals crop, fat equals not.

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tragic girls, Tragic Shorts

Being Thankful

Being the Thanksgiving season and all we should all take the chance to recognize what we are thankful for. I myself am thankful for a lot. I’m thankful for the wonderful dinner that I got to eat with my family today and that I got to watch my 2 year old niece play. But I am also thankful for so much more…

10 things I am thankful for:
1- I am thankful for the dry shampoo that I had to use two days in a row this week because I was too lazy to wash my hair
2- I’m thankful for tampons because they are probably one of the best inventions in the world
3- I am thankful that I didn’t pop my tire when I ran over the curb yesterday
4- For my roomie, may she always be just as tragic as I am
5- I’m thankful for my Bfffff and that she has put up with me for 15 years
6- For my sisters assuring me that I am not the only crazy one
7- I am thankful that living on my own has taught me that snacks actually make a good dinner
8- For my boyfriend because for some reason he loves me
9- I am thankful that I am a sneaky, ninja, closeted psycho girl but appear put together to everyone else
10- I am thankful that although I can’t remember things all the time, I can always remember movie quotes like a teenage boy

There are things to be thankful for everyday. Instead of always go, go, going, we need to take time to reflect and be happy with our lives no matter how tragic they are. Love your life, your family, and your friends and be thankful that you have them.

Love,
-Tragic Girls ❤

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