PMS- Psycho, Mad, Sad

Us girls all know that when you hang out with your girlfriends often, you all start to get on the same track, do you know what I mean? Eventually all of your special girl times will be right around the same time, especially if you’re roommates. My roomie and I are right on schedule with each other. It was so funny because last month our group of five, aka- the Fab 5, all of us and our boys got together for “Friendsgiving” and literally all of us were on our time of the month. One of the girl’s husbands heard and said, “Oh my god you girls are all PMSing together!” His wife quickly corrected him saying PMS is pre and we are passed that part, to which he responded, “Fine then you are all MSing together.” Boys logic.

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Anyways we are about in the pre time again and my roommate and I were texting back and forth today about how we were sad for no real reasons. She was saying how she is the only one without a guy and I had this absurd idea that my boyfriend didn’t even like me anymore. I mean he didn’t even text me back for like two and a half hours. I soon found out that he was in a meeting with his district manager. I then realized that I needed to snap out of my little funk because I was being a typical girl. PMS should really stand for Psycho, Mad, Sad because that is literally our cycle that recurs again and again until our time is up. We will be perfectly normal, then we will get a psycho girl thought like our boyfriend isn’t texting us back because he doesn’t like us anymore, then we get mad at our boyfriends for not texting us back, then we get really sad that he doesn’t like us anymore. After this cycle we calm down when we find out he was in a work meeting the whole time and are calm until the next incident sets us off.

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I was watching a comedian on Netflix the other night with my boyfriend and he said that girls are like rescued dogs and they need to keep them calm or they will get set off. I thought that was really funny because it is kind if true. We are not crazy, we just get an excuse to be psycho for a week without getting institutionalized. Boys it is best to just do what we say and get us chocolate and tell us that we are pretty.

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad….. Okay I’m happy now.

Psycho Girl Tendencies

There are certain things that most psycho girls do and may not even realize it. See if any of these are your own psycho girl tendencies:

1. Telling your best friend that you’re going to “unlike” a picture that you already liked, because of course you’ve already liked it. She is your best friend, by law you must like all of her pictures. Anyways, you tell her that you’re going to “unlike” the picture, then “like” it again, then “unlike” it again to see if she gets a notification.

Doing this you are preparing yourself for plausible deniability, since you just impulsively liked a guys picture and instantly regretted it.

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2. Telling your best friend that you’re going to “unfollow” her on Instagram, then request to follow her again, and then cancel that follow request to see if she gets a notification.

You just decided, after convincing yourself it was a good idea, that it was too soon or too creepy to request to follow.

“I don’t want him to know that I know that he has a girlfriend yet!”

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3. When he hasn’t texted you back yet, you check to see if he is “texting” back yet.

If he is texting back you get all excited and stare and wait. If it is taking a long time you get even more excited because you know it’s going to be a long text. Then when the awaited text finally arrives it’s a rather short response and you’re disappointed that it’s short, but the reality is that boys just can’t spell so all that time you thought he was typing a love novel to you, he is really trying to figure out which form of “there” and “your” to use.

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4. You check to see who comments on his Facebook statuses. If it’s a girl of course you casually check out her page.

“Who is this whore?! Oh, it’s his cousin, she looks pretty.” (sigh of relief)

5. You make “half” jokes to bring up topics or ask a question you’re afraid to straight out ask.

Like when you’re in the “unofficial” stage and you want to make sure he is only dating you. Instead of asking “are you only seeing me?” you say, while he is texting someone else in front of you, “Who are you texting, your other girlfriend?” in a funny, sarcastic, eye roll way, and wait for him to say “no I am only with you.”

6. You text vomit your best friend even though she hasn’t replied back yet.

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7. Over thinking text messages. You go a week of great, constant texting then one day he is short because he is busy and suddenly you think that he is breaking up with you.

“He didn’t use an emoji, he hates me!”

You all know that you do at least one of these tendencies. Let me know what your other psycho ones are!

Tragic Titles

Continuing on with my psycho girl discussion, let’s talk about titles, as in relationship titles. Why is it that whether or not having a title on our relationships affects how psycho we are? I experienced this before my boyfriend made us official, my BFFFF experienced it with her old guy, and my roomie is now currently experiencing it. This is a common phenomenon which actually made me feel better about my own psycho thoughts knowing that it happens to others. I realized that when there is no title girls feel no security. Sure you can be “exclusive” and only be dating each other, but that title makes a huge difference for girls. Without it we get those thoughts that yes he is dating me, but what if an opportunity arises with another girl and he thinks “hmmm we technically aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend.” We have all had those thoughts. Please do not forget that that is the crazy talking.

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It really is amazing how much of a difference a title can make. It changes the “he is not texting me back. What is he doing? Is he with another girl? Is he getting drunk around other girls?” into “my boyfriend isn’t texting me back because he is probably playing his video game,” like mine is doing right now. As girls we are possessive. We want him to be ours and we want to know that he is ours. We don’t want to deal with the guessing of whether or not he is ours. I hate the whole “What are we?” thoughts. When you are in that part of your relationship everyone seems to remind you that you aren’t official by asking you every time they see you, “is he your boyfriend yet?”, “are you two official yet?” You are only stressing your fellow sister out with these questions. This stage is awkward enough to be in, especially with introductions. What are you supposed to say, “um hi, this is the guy I am dating but he isn’t my boyfriend yet Dave.” The guys don’t know how to introduce you either so they go with what they think is right which is actually totally wrong and sends girls spiraling into an internal psycho tantrum by saying, “Hey this is my friend Jen.” FRIEND?! Oh no he did not just call you his friend. Honestly he doesn’t mean it like that, but he has no clue what he just started in your head which will potentially be an argument later on of you telling him that he just considers you friends, and he will not even remember the event of introducing you as that.

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Ladies as much as you can, try to keep the crazy in of how you feel not having a title. If you want that title he cannot know how psycho you are. Remember, let a little psychoness out at a time, guys cant handle it all at once. As for the title, don’t let it stress you out more than it should. Sure it’s okay to stress out about it if you’ve been dating forever and he hasn’t made it official. Sometimes guys just don’t realize that they are slacking. This is when you can let a little smidgen of psycho show and have the “what are we?” talk. This way you either corner him into making you his girlfriend, or you’ll know if that is even his intention or if you are wasting your time. Be strong girls and be openly psycho in small doses.