Feeling Behind

I know most have probably felt this way at some point in their lives or are feeling it right now, but I have really been battling the feeling of being behind. It all ties into that darn comparison trap. My older sister (year and a half older) is married, has a 5 (almost 6) year old, and is wanting to have another baby. My younger brother (year and a half younger) is married and they are expecting their first baby girl in February (SO EXCITED). My two little sisters are in serious relationships and will probably be engaged soon. Three of my five best friends are married and one of those three has a one year old son. Another best friend is engaged, and the fifth is in a serious relationship and will probably be engaged very soon. It is hard to think of how everyone you know is moving on with their lives and you feel like you are just stuck where you are.

The battle with this is I know I am not stuck, but I still get dragged down this hole of feeling like my life isn’t going like it is supposed to. I am not saying that all of this is because I do not have a boyfriend. I know a man does not determine my life. But it is more of my life isn’t going according to MY plan, yet everyone I know is. A breakup almost four years into a relationship was not part of my plan. Being single at 28 was not part of my plan. My plan was to be engaged right about now and planning a wedding. Instead I just work and talk about dates like nothing but inside I am terrified to go on one. Which leads me down another hole of thinking OMG I AM GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER BECAUSE I WILL NEVER MEET SOMEONE. Then I think, well maybe I am meant to be the single one forever. Like how do you meet someone, or better yet, how do you meet someone when all of your friends are in relationships?

I have to remember that MY plan means nothing. This is all GOD’S plan. I am only here because of Him and my life will go according to His plan and His will, no one else’s. As much as I try to control everything or have very strong ideas about how things should go, they mean nothing to His plan. This has been a major time of practicing patience. It is ironic because last year two of my girlfriends and I were doing a bible study with the book Wait and See, and my whole season of waiting was for the next chapter of my life, to get engaged and get married (or so I thought). Little did I know that instead of getting proposed to by the man I thought I would marry, I would get dumped. I am still in that season of waiting however, the circumstances have changed. I know that in order for God’s plan to be fulfilled and to bring me together with the one I am supposed to be with, I had to be rid of the one I wasn’t meant to be with. It took awhile to be able to admit that, but I know God wouldn’t let us go through such pain without purpose. Thinking of it in a positive light, I am one step closer to finding my future husband BECAUSE things ended with who I thought I was meant to be with.

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Now the real waiting is happening. Before it was waiting and waiting for the wrong guy to propose which was never going to happen, but I thought I knew what was going to happen. Now the waiting is unknown. I know one day I will get married. My friend reminded me that God did not put us here to be alone. But WHO will I get married to one day? WHERE will I meet this man? WHEN will I meet this man? WILL I know when I meet this man? There are a lot of unanswered questions. In fact, all are unanswered questions. The only thing I know to be true is that I need to have patience and I need to trust in God.

Feeling behind is a constant struggle. I literally have to work on it every day or it can really get you down. It can make you not excited for people you love when they are getting what you want. I have had to consciously make an effort to be genuinely excited. Since time has passed that is easier. My excitement for my friends and my family who are getting married and having babies is real, but there is still the pain deep down of wondering when my time will be. I will keep practicing patience, it is all I can do. That, and trusting that He really does have an amazing plan and purpose for me. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” Jeremiah 29:11.03_1600x

Sprinkle Tank!

Happy Monday! Hopefully everyone had a great weekend. Mine was good and bad. Bad because I had a massive headache both days, but good because I got to celebrate one of my best friend’s son’s first birthdays and yesterday one of my other best friends and I bought rollerblades!! Haha yes rollerblades. We are now “The Bladies” and are going to skate for fun and exercise #babesonblades. I forgot what a workout rollerblading is! My butt and thighs were tired right away. Anyone else still rollerblade? If this link works, this is my new video on IGTV for our first day blading: click here!

Anyways, for the party Saturday I wore this new tank I got and it is so cute! It looks like sprinkles or confetti. Throwing on a tank easy-tucked into high waisted shorts with some earrings, is such an easy outfit yet looks really put together, It is the perfect summer look. It is casual but is not too dress down. I didn’t actually wear these wedges to the party, I wore gold sandals, but that shows this look can really be styled either way. Brunch with the girlfriends calls for wedges, baby’s birthday party calls for sandals.

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One of my girlfriends is super into camis right now and I think I am finally hopping on that train. I have this one but now I want more! Any suggestions on wear to get some good ones?

This look is linked here: Tank | Shorts | Shoes | Earrings | Sunnies | Purse | Sandals

New Bikini!

I stalked this bathing suit for literally SO LONG from Target, and like most things I stalk, I PREVAILED! I found it online a couple month’s ago but of course it wasn’t sold in stores AND only the color I wanted was sold out. On the Target app they have a “notify me” button for when items are back in stock. I did that and waited and waited and continued to check… nothing. Last month I looked at a notification on my phone, it was from Target AND MY BEAUTIFUL BATHING SUIT WAS BACK IN STOCK! Sorry, I don’t mean to shout, I just need you to understand how excited I was. AND GUESS WHAT ELSE? The next day when I went to buy it, bathing suits were BOGO half off! It was like the stars aligned and everything was meant to be. I ordered it!

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It came in and was just as beautiful in person as it was online. I bought a small in both the top and the bottoms. The bottoms fit great and felt super comfy, not overly tight, the top although it fit, I could probably go smaller #smallboobproblems. I ended up ordering an extra small and returned the small. Triangle tops are not the best for small chests, they tend to make you look smaller. I usually go for bandeaus. I was all set now though. I love how this suit looks so expensive but in reality I got the whole thing for a little over $30, can’t beat that!

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I finally wore it last weekend in Palm Springs. I am going to be honest, Heather and I didn’t have that much time to be by the pool so we mainly took photos then left. But we are going back for labor day so I will get to wear it again! We went to the pool at the V and I cant wait to go back in a few weeks to actually enjoy it. It looks so cute, they have all these lounge chairs, and a cool bar. I didn’t think it was appropriate to order a cocktail at 8am soooo look for a photo of one after labor day.

Linked here! Top | Bottoms* | Hat | Earrings | Sunnies

*the bottoms have only a few sizes left in all three colors 😦 but KEEP STALKING!

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PSST! I posted a new video on IGTV from Palm Springs! I am still working on this video thing but it is fun learning! I think I have finally improved on music. Thinking I might try a part II to this video for labor day weekend!

The Windmills

I have been wanting a photo OF the windmills in Palm Springs and WITH the windmills for some time now. I always see them on my drive in and out and wish I could just stop on the side of the road to take a photo! But I have been told I cannot do that. So finally this weekend I told my mom we are doing it! We are finally getting photos! After a failed attempt, we FINALLY found the place. Thursday evening we drove in their general direction and found a park that looked mostly close to them. There was one car just waiting, and another had pulled in right before us and parked, then we parked next to it. Up at the benches there was a man in an electric wheelchair. The lady who parked first got out and kind of just stared at us funny (for an awkward amount of time) and was walking up to the man. We figured they were family and we walked toward the windmills. Turns out we were a lot farther than we thought and didn’t want to pass through the barrier of trees to get to them so we turned around. When we got back to the car, the weird lady in her car was gone and another had pulled in and parked. She also gave us a weird look when she got out of her car and headed for they guy in the wheelchair. We got back in our car and I told my mom I am pretty sure the guy in the wheelchair is doing drug deals… she said probably, we are not in a great part of town. We promptly left. Oops! In the middle of drug deals and here we are with a camera trying to get photos of windmills. We drove around a little longer and found one spot kind of far away from them but gave it a try. 

Friday morning after our palm tree oasis adventure we tried for windmills again. We found a mostly good spot and just parked on the side of the road, but the lovely barbed wire fence was not so cute in my photos. We decided to get breakfast instead, then after drove home and the road we took was right by the windmills with no fence! By the time we decided we should stop we had already passed them all, had to u-turn, go all the way back to the end, turn around and start again. We ended up finding a turn off and went in. My mom is the best and is down to do anything for the blog with me! We finally found the PERFECT spot for photos OF and WITH the windmills with no fences and you’re pretty level with them. When we finished and drove the rest of that road back, we ended up right at the park from the day before… if we would have just gone a little further! Still, mission accomplished and now we know where to go. 

This outfit was linked in our palm tree oasis adventure post, but I will link it again (ps- this crop is on sale now!)

Outfit details linked here: Top | Shorts | Hat | Shoes | Sunnies & Purse (hanging on the photographer… aka Mom)

Palm Tree Oasis!

My mom has been wanting to take me to the palm tree oasis in Thousand Palms for like ever. Last time we tried it was way too windy. She wanted to try this time but we had to go super early because of how hot it was… like this past Friday was ONLY supposed to be 113°. We wanted to get there by 7am but ended up running an hour late. Good thing because we found out they don’t open until 8am. When we got there, the Coachella Valley Preserve, it looked closed. When we walked up we were told the visitor center is closed during this part of the season, but the trails were open. 

It was such a cool place! So many huge palm trees all together with trails and bridges in between. The not cool part, all of the bugs! I felt like you couldn’t stop moving for too long because the bugs would attack you. Them or the lizards everywhere. We went through a few trails, passed a sign that said watch out for wildlife and listed dragon flies, lizards, and whatever. We went a little farther and the next wildlife sign showed things like bobcats, mountain lions, snakes OH-MY! We turned around and said we had gone far enough. We did one more trail and called it a day. It probably took longer to drive there than it did to walk through what we did! But it was really cool to see. It would definitely be cool to go back when it is cooler so you can stay longer. There are even picnic tables to bring a lunch.

At least we got a few good photos. I love this casual outfit I put together. To be honest I bought this cropped tee to wear to the OC Fair when we go this Friday, but I felt it was very Palm Springs so I wore it already, oops! I have been loving the longer, loose crop tops, the ones that just barely graze the top of your high waist bottoms. All items are linked below, the top and shorts are Topshop from Nordstrom, the hat is from Target, and the Adidas are from Nordstrom as well (got them as part of the sale and they are like my favorite thing!). 

Outfit details linked here: Top | Shorts | Hat | Shoes | Sunnies & Purse (hanging on the photographer… aka Mom)

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Old Navy Dress Roundup

I have been obsessed with Old Navy’s summer dresses this year. They have been so perfect and their prints have been on point. You probably know how much I like the resort wear look so all of these palm and tropical flower prints have been my jam. I ended up with three this summer (yes I know not that many but I had to limit myself!) and I want to wear them all the time. Luckily I got them all on sale too!

First one I got was this black floral print dress with a tie neck. It’s perfect with either sandals or wedges and is nice and cool for when it’s hot. It comes in a couple other colors as well but a lot of sizes are almost sold out! Linked here!

Second was this basic swing dress that is SO comfortable! There aren’t too many colors left but I want to buy another. It is so cute with come fun earrings and wedges, or even sandals or tennies! Linked here!

Lastly is this fun little salsa dress! The off the shoulder detail and the bottom ruffle are just SO FUN! I need an actual event to wear this too, I just love it so much. I feel like I’m instantly on vacation when I put it on! A couples sizes are gone in this color, but black is fully stocked. Linked here!

I can’t believe it’s August! Let’s enjoy the end of summer and welcome FALL SOON!

PS- follow me on the the LIKEtoKNOW.it app so you can get all the links to my looks!

Thoughts on Braces

I have had my braces for a month and a half now. Only sixteen and a half more months, but who is counting… When I got my braces I had all of these negative thoughts. I was so uncomfortable in them, they were and all I could feel, my lips hurt, and obviously my teeth were aching (and still do most days). They felt so prominent under my lips that I felt that was all people could see when they looked at me. From the feel of them I felt like I had crazy dinosaur teeth or something (I know I am weird). All I was thinking was that I looked like I was in junior high and how was I ever going to get a date? Who was going to want to go out with a brace face? I know, I was being so dramatic but that is how I felt. When I would inspect them in the mirror I would see they were not even half as obvious as they were in my head. I even had some people talking to me and then half way through say wow they didn’t even notice I had braces, and that was that. Like no big deal at all. I have been working on being chill about them. A lot of people had braces and I know a lot of adults get braces so I need to stop being so self conscious about them. I know the end result is going to be amazing.

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Another thing about braces kind of made me laugh. I have had like three or four people ask me why I even got braces because my teeth were not bad before. I would say are you kidding?! Then proceed to point out all of the spots I was unhappy with, to which they would tell me I was crazy. I guess we really are way more critical of ourselves than others. We are definitely our own worst enemy sometimes. It felt nice to hear that people didn’t see my before teeth as bad because I have always been so self conscious about them.

They have definitely been a growing experience and I am getting used to them. Although, pretty much everyone told me when you get them tightened they only hurt again for like a day. Well I had my first tightening two weeks ago AND THEY HURT FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK AFTER. Eating has been a definite challenge. I do not like how it feels to eat with them and I am terrified to even talk or smile after I eat so I am always running to the bathroom to brush them. Now I can say that is my biggest fear if I ever go on a date, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT? I guess I will figure that out if I ever even go on a date haha. I will keep you updated. Until then I will be working on not feeling like a nerd.

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