Dear Micaela

I am not quite sure why, but so often when I think of you, the image of you with crimped hair and your metallic silver Britney Spears and/or Christina Aguilera costume pops in my head. Just a fun fact ๐Ÿ˜‰

I wanted to let you know how much I have been enjoying hanging out with you. I keep thinking about the one night we confessed to each other that we both thought neither one of us wanted to hang out with the other. I always thought I was too lame for you, and you thought you were too wild for me. Maybe we are actually just the perfect balance we both need.

I don’t think we really think about how much younger siblings can teach us. We as older sibs think it is all on us, but these last couple months, I am learning from you and I want you to know that. You have showed me that it is okay to get messy and let loose and I mean this in the best possible way. I have spent so much of my time striving for perfection. It gets to the point where I feel like I cannot do anything “out of line” without someone making it into some kind of deal. But these last couple months where we have just let loose, acted goofy, and have had fun, have been AMAZING! You are one of the few people I can be fully myself with with absolutely no judgements. I can tell you my craziest thoughts and you are there for it.

You are teaching me to stop apologizing because I am an overly apologetic person with no real reason to be. Multiple times you have told me, “don’t say sorry, you have done nothing wrong”. The pressure we can put on ourselves of right and wrong can be so overbearing, but you are reminding me to not be so judgmental of myself and my actions.

You are also teaching me to not care so much what others think, although I believe this is something we all struggle with. When we are together though, I think we are good at reminding each other that WHO CARES?

I want you to know how amazing you are. It is still weird to think I can go out and drink with you, but here we are, both adults. Know you have this confidence around you that I envy and I can feel when I am with you. It radiates around you and is infectious. I strive to be even an ounce as confident as you are when we are together. You walk proudly up, are not afraid to talk to people, or to take chances. I hope to be like you one day.

Also know you have grown into such a beautiful woman. I often look at our current photos together and am just amazed. Not amazed that you are beautiful, we all knew you would grow into a breathtaking woman, but to have that memory of your cute crimped hair to you now it’s just like damn, look at her.

Last thing to know, you are so loving. I can see all the love you have to give. From your selflessness you give to your friends, to the love for your family, your special bond with me and the sisters, and the love you have for your man. I can see the way you look at him, yearn for him, and take care of him. You’re so full of love, don’t ever lose that, and know you are deserving of the exact same love from everyone you give it to.

None of us are perfect. We strive to be, but we are only human. It is okay to make mistakes and to also give ourselves a break from the tiresome journey to be constantly put together. I love being “messy” with you. I say messy in quotes because we are not messy, but when we let loose, it is some of my favorite times. To be genuinely us. To quote Spongebob Squarepants in a bar, even if dad scolds me that I will never find a man doing that. To drinking in the parking lot at the bar and then walking a mile to the other bar just to save a few bucks. To dishing out bean and cheese burritos at 3 in the morning and then crying into them because of how hungry we were and the thankful thoughts that these burritos may actually save our lives. To being hyperaware of where we both were at all times at Stagecoach because we can’t stand the thought of something happening to one of us. You are still my baby sister and I have this mama bear urge to protect you always.

You are one of my best friends and I love you so much, and I am so sorry for ever making you feel like I didn’t want to be around you. I will always be here for you, remember that. Just as you don’t judge me, I am not here to judge you. I will always listen and try to give advice when I can, admit when I can’t, or even just be there to be silent with. I’ve got you always. Everything happens for a reason and in God’s time, and there has to be one for why He wanted us close now. All I know is I never want to let this go.

Love,

Brittany

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RV Having Fun Yet?!

Long Time No Talk!

Well hello there! It has been so long. I know I am late, I was supposed to do my first post on my birthday last week buuuuuut we still don’t have internet in the new house. So here is just a quick little life update!

If you don’t remember, when I last logged off we were packing and getting ready to move. We are all in the new house BUT unpacking is almost as bad as packing so there is stuff EVERYWHERE! It doesn’t help when you are super busy either. Slowly but surely we will get everything away.

So here we go:

  • My reason for taking a month-ish off from the blog was to finish some studying I am working on. I wanted to finish my first section by the end of January and let me tell you, I almost didn’t make it. I was just about to give myself a one day grace period (that I was really upset about) but I somehow pushed through and got A TON done on the 31st so I was really happy with myself. I even got a 98% on my first section. Now I am a little behind on my second but it is okay. I am taking a 5 day weekend this weekend to visit Tabitha in Vegas so I will do some catch-up out here.
  • I turned 29 last week and I do not know how I feel about it haha. It feels kind of old but not so different. I am excited to see where it takes me. Last year around the sun as a twenty-something.
  • I have hit my year mark of being single. It isn’t a bad thing, I made it through. I was actually surprised at how fast it went. I feel like I only really felt left out last month when we had a surprise party for Heather. It wasn’t anything bad and it was a super quick moment (I almost feel silly for writing about it), but when we got to dinner I obviously wanted to sit by Heather, as did everyone else, but everyone was coupled off so if I sat with her, someone’s significant other wouldn’t be at the table. So I ended up at the very end of the whole party with my two sisters, WHICH WAS FINE, but still there was a moment of me being like dang.
  • Blog stuff:
    • I have been working on having fun and trying new styles. Although I haven’t been blogging I have been active on Instagram so make sure you are following along! I just want it to be more fun. Not more of this stand and pose. I am generally a silly person and I want my feed to portray that.
    • I am revamping the Style Panel and I am excited to get started! I got my girls recommitted and am trying to do things a little different. Stay tuned, the first post should be coming next month!

I think that is all the updates I have, I know not too exciting right now, but some fun things are coming up I hope! Next month Heather and I are volunteering at the El Paseo Fashion week and I am so excited. We are still planning on some fun local adventures too. Just trying to go with the flow here and have some fun.

I miss you all! Back to studying I go -_-

XOXO- B

PS – this was the cute af coffee shop we went to last night called Gรคbi Coffee

 

2019 Goals!

This year, I think I will just use “goals” in place of “resolutions”. After all they are goals, plus my resolutions the last couple years have not been completed so maybe they need some new juju.

So here we are, my goals for 2019:

  1. Finish my course (which I will tell you about after I finish it)! This is my number one. It is so important I am even giving myself a time frame! End of March I need to have all three books read. HOLD ME TO IT!
  2. Buy new car in maybe the summer?? Since my commute has tripled I have over 120k miles on my barely five year old car. There is nothing wrong with it, but I want to trade it in before it is literally worth nothing. Plus I would rather have a new car with a warranty than worry about a car with a million miles start to break down. Personal preference here. Plus I have had a car payment for forever so why not keep it going right? lol (also now I get to work local two days a week and I carpool at least once so I would be putting less miles on a new car)
  3. Move out in the fall/winter. This is a huge goal which will totally depend on current circumstances at the time. If all goes as planned I will move out. I trust God will guide me to what I am meant to do and where I am meant to be. If it is not time for me yet, then that is okay. (You guys I literally daydream about decorating my own apartment all the time. It is going to be the cutest!)
  4. Okay these next few aren’t giant goals like above but still important to me. I want to create more and better content for my blog and Instagram. I don’t want it to just be for cute outfits (don’t worry, there will ALWAYS be cute outfits), but I want this to be my space to be creative and be me. I think I have already started to tap into that this year with more personal posts, but I want to continue and grow with that. Also Tab and I have a ton of fun ideas for content.
  5. This is basically the second part of goal 4. Not necessarily trying to put a number and pressure on it, but I want to get to 5k Instagram followers by the end of the year. For some of you that is chump change, but that will be almost double my current following and I think that is a good number to grow to (obviously the more the merrier).
  6. Kind of another branch off of 4. I really want to go to places, like travel to places, but I am not in the position to do that right now which is okay. I decided I want to try and do as many “local” travels as I can. Places I can drive to if anything. I have already started a list with Tab. Some places include: Venice Beach (BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER BEEN), Joshua Tree (which us girls BETTA BE GOIN TO in March), the sand dunes in Death Valley, the Neon Museum in Vegas, and more! I know some of these might seem silly to some, but I am super excited about it! I would love to plan at least one “travel” a month but we will see how it goes. Please let me know any suggestions!
  7. Aside from the blog, I have had a book idea for a few years now. I have planned some and have even started a chapter. It has now developed into a series and I am so excited!! My goal this year is to fully plan out the three books (using notecards as suggested by Tab who’s friend does it).
  8. Second part of goal 7, I want to write ten chapters of the series. These can be chapters from any book, I just need to finish ten. The reason I can write from any book is because each chapter is a different story and as long as I plan it all first I will have the chronological order.
  9. Pay off debt, obviously.
  10. Get fit, OBVIOUSLY (already started!)!

2018… What A Year

This year has come to a close so quickly. I thought this year would go by slower because we weren’t counting down to anything. Last year my sister was getting married so I had her bridal shower in April, her bachelorette party in May, and in June we all went to Mexico for a week for the wedding. Best vacation I have ever been on, I still miss it and think about it constantly. But all of those exciting things made half of the year go by so fast. Then when fall hits, the holidays follow closely behind and boom it is a new year. I thought since we had no big events to countdown to this year, it would go by slower. I was so wrong. I think this year may have been even faster than last.

It is no secret that my 2018 started off terribly. For those who don’t know, to put it shortly, I got dumped in the end of January (the 28th to be precise because I am a psycho girl and remember everything) and I lived with the guy. By March I moved in with my sister and I have been here since. It was a rough transition. It was a rough time of my life in general. Losing someone because they CHOSE to not choose you anymore is a whole different kind of hurt. Hours I spent in my car (not by choice, but the move tripled my commute) thinking of all the ways I went wrong or what I should have done differently, or how he just didn’t want ME or how maybe I wasn’t good enough (if you want the raw feelings of those days read this post from May). To see me now from where I was then, I have grown a lot. Some days are still bad but in different ways, I am still growing and learning. I have since learned and realized that what we had was not what I wanted, but what I hoped would change into what I wanted. I have learned that I should not have to make excuses for the emotion that was lacking, or the needs that were not being met. I have realized how much I actually need simple signs of affection and am deserving of that. I am coming to find out that it is okay to be picky and to be myself because I want someone who wants all parts of me (including the weirdo and including the psycho).

Something I have probably suffered from most this year was comparing myself to my friends and family and feeling left out because I am the only single one now. What is funny though is that this is all me because no one has left me out for being single (maybe that is one of this biggest things I have learned this year, that I am literally my own worst enemy and the biggest critic in the whole dang world). My friends still all include me of course, and nothing is really different except that I don’t have a date to things. But it is not like all my friends are the types of PDA couples who are all lovey dovey all of the time. I am so thankful that Heather’s boyfriend has just grown accustomed to me being their third wheel LOL! They even call their spare bedroom my room (you guys are da best and I love being your roomie/extra date ๐Ÿ˜‰ ). I just need to work on feeling confident with where I am in life right now.

It was hard to go from where I was, to being single and renting a room from my sister because I can’t afford to live in the same city, let alone county, as my job (I am also letting my age play a huge factor in my expectations which is just silly but yeah). I would have to constantly remind myself that this was not permanent, it was just my current situation that I was working through. Not that I was embarrassed by it, but I felt like I had taken so many steps back. So far back that I was living back in the town I had left. But no one has judged me for it. Most people understand because California is so freaking expensive to live in alone. But since moving, I have come to terms with my current situation and I am okay. I know there is nothing wrong with it, and I get to live with my sister, who is one of my best friends, and get to be here while my niece is young and get to watch her grow and be a role model for her. Things could be worse, but they aren’t. I am with family and I am safe.

Now for some good things (sorry, I didn’t expect this to be a novel but I guess it is going to be). I hadn’t been single for a long time span IN A LONG TIME. After getting over the whole bad part about it, I started getting excited about the good. I had and still have no one to answer to. If I want to go do something I can do it, and I do! I wanted to focus more on my stuff, like this blog, and I have, AND IT SHOWS. All of my friends have told me what a difference they have seen in my work and content, and just being creative in general. I do this because I love it and I want to make something out of it. Having some real focus and time has made a world of difference (plus he-who-must-not-be-named didn’t really support my blog and thought it was dumb *GASP!*). [sidebar: it still amazes me how we can finally be at a point where we recognize all of the bad things and the red flags we ignored yet still miss them sometimes. Is it them we miss or just the time and the “comfort”?]

I don’t know how many times I just left for the weekend and went to Palm Springs to be with Heather. Or the three or more times I went to Vegas to visit my sister Tab, or the random times I call up Cher and ask her to hang out because it literally takes two minutes to drive to her house. I have freedom to be me right now and I am really starting to enjoy it. I cannot wait to really take advantage of it next year. 2018 was all about healing and learning. I think 2019 will be about learning and experiencing. I am ready to have fun, have adventures, learn and grow. What I am most excited about is all of this exciting stuff and tying it to my blog. It is all Tab and I have been able to talk about, all of the new things we want to do in 2019 writing and content creating wise. Which is why you may think it is funny that I am so excited for my blog in 2019 and I am taking the entire month of January off *insert puzzled face*.

I will still be around on Instagram, and using my captions as a form of writing and keeping you up to date, but I need a month to focus on something completely different. There is some studying for a course I need to get done that I have had for some months now, but I always choose to blog instead of study because obviously that is way more fun. I have three books I need to get through and I am not even half way through the first. My goal is to finish the first book by the end of January (or earlier if possible), then I will hopefully be in such a studying groove that I can bring back blogging in February and still finish the second book by the end of Feb, then finish the third by March (I will tell you what I am doing once I am done haha). I am thinking I will come back to the blog on my birthday, Feb. 7th, since that is kind of like my new year, right? Plus once I have this studying complete I will have even more time to focus on the blog.

Okay I will end here since this is getting lengthy, I hope you have made it this far! I am excited for tonight. I have NEVER been this excited for a new year but I am ready to take it on. I will post my resolutions/goals for the new year tomorrow and then I am out for the month! If I end up doing really well with studying maybe I will reward myself with a post, but let’s be honest, this stuff is boring so I don’t see rewards in my future. But here is to wishful thinking and no sleep!

Happy New Year’s Eve everyone! Be safe and talk to you next year!

Cheers! -Britt

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Yes I was this extra and made my sister take this photo yesterday so I would have it ready. BUT ISN’T IT THE CUTEST?!

Look linked here! Dress | Heels | Champs (Costco ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

Falling Behind

Happy Monday!

It is crazy how one off day can throw off your entire week. Sundays are my blog day, or at least have become my blog day. This is when I plan my week, write blogs, plan and draft Instagram posts, the whole shebang. The Sunday after Thanksgiving though we drove home from Arizona and when we got home I was so tired from the weekend I promptly fell asleep and did no planning, thus resulting in NOT A SINGLE BLOG POST LAST WEEK. It is too hard to play catch up during the week, I wasn’t even that great on Instagram. That single day caused me to have no motivation all week which is bad considering how good I have been with planning (at least for me). Fast forward to yesterday, I barely had time to plan again! I went out Saturday night for my friend’s boyfriend’s birthday and I didn’t even get home until 3am so of course I slept in and wasted half my day. I am trying really hard to snap back into it and re-motivate myself, especially with the year coming to a close. I will not fall back into bad habits! So here is to a new week, let us make it a good one and drink all of the coffee!

Fall & the End of Summer

I am always so excited for fall for mostly obvious reasons like cooler weather (even though it takes forever to cool off in Southern California) and of course the fashion. Fall style is my absolute favorite because we can finally layer. Although, this year I was particularly excited for summer fashion. I think ever since Mexico last year I have just wanted to dress up in resort wear (even though I am not going anywhere…). I think my favorite thing about fall though is the feeling. The holidays are coming, all the fall decorations come out, 13 Nights of Halloween on TV (but this year on FreeForm they are doing 31 Nights of Halloween starting with Hocus Pocus on October 1st and I am SO EXCITED. Full 31 nights movie line up linked here!) I think the feelings may even be traced back as far as school days. School always starts in the fall and there was always a feeling of going back, especially in high school and college. You’re back to seeing all of your friends, football games every week, and mutual complaining about class. It is so exciting to be done with school but it is also a very nostalgic feeling, at least for me. I sometimes feel a longing to be back at school as if I missed out on so much and didn’t live it out to its full potential.

That is kind of how I feel at the end of every summer. I am so excited for fall yet I have this sort of sadness about summer being over. It goes by so quick and I feel like I didn’t get to do all of the things that I wanted to do. Every year I start off thinking it is going to be so epic and it plays out like a movie in my head at the start and it never quite looks like that at the end. How come as we get older the days go by so much faster? I know it gets hot super early but if you think of summer in calendar terms, June 21st-ish to September 22nd-ish, then there are really only 13ish weekends in summer. That means only 13 opportunities to plan fun. That may seem like a lot but count in birthdays, weddings (and all of their collective events like showers and bachelorette parties), and all other obligatory engagements we have to attend. Don’t get me wrong those are generally fun events and you get to see family or friends, but they are not events you planned for pure fun. Does that make sense? I guess I am just trying to say that we have limited weekends to jam all of our summer fun into and sometimes that can be hard at the end of summer to reflect on. Also having events every weekend makes the season go by even faster.

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I think it boils down to the seasons changing being bitter sweet. This change is so drastic. Fall is the lead into winter, spring is the lead into summer, winter to spring feels like a subtle change, but summer into fall seems so huge. It is almost like the end. I love this time of year but it may seem to go by even faster than summer all together. It is September and then all of a sudden it is back to back holidays and then a new year. One last thing and then I am done because I don’t even know if I know where I am going with this anymore. I think this summer to fall transition is harder for us in SoCal because it may be officially fall, but it is still over 90 degrees and feels like our calendar is confused. It is like we are stuck, whereas other states that actually get a real and proper fall are able to quickly hop over to the fall train and fully appreciate it.

I will get over this little funk, I think I just needed to talk it out. Maybe it all comes down to the fact that I have all of these fall clothes that I can’t wear yet and it really bums me out! It is okay. I will patiently wait for colder weather. At least my work feels like the arctic and I can wear sweaters there. Do any of you have similar feels to the summer to fall transition?

PS – Fall transition look linked here:

Tank | Shorts | Heels | Button Down (similar) | Sunnies | Belt (similar)

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Sister Tattoo!

Welp, it took me almost two weeks to reveal to everyone that I got a tattoo! Not because I was afraid to tell people, it was because I am 28 years old and was afraid to tell my parents! Haha I know, I am lame. They are not the biggest fans of tattoos but this one has a lot of meaning to me. My three sisters and I decided to get one together when we went to Vegas for the second to youngest’s 25th birthday. This wasn’t just a rash decision (kind of). We had talked about sister tattoos over a year ago I think it was. Ever since that talk it had been in the back of my mind. Ever so often I would go on Pinterest and look up small tattoo ideas and pin them on my secret tattoo board LOL!

On our drive out to Vegas, Nicole (oldest), Micaela (youngest) and I, Micaela brought the tattoos up. I mentioned one of my friend’s sister tattoos and that kind of sparked our idea. My friend’s is three triangles and their place in line by age was filled in (I hope that makes sense). So we wanted to play around with that but not with triangles. Micaela, while googling shapes, came across a pentagon. Five sides… there are five kids in our family (fifth is our brother and is between myself and the 25 year old birthday girl Tabitha). It was perfect! We would get four pentagons, one for each of us, with our place in the sister lineup filled in. (Brother is confused why he doesn’t have his own shape haha, but he won’t get the tattoo anyways so oh-well. We told him he is a line in the pentagon. But if HE DID get one, it would be the four pentagons with none of them filled in).

On Saturday we drew the tattoo on each other in the places we thought we wanted them. Tab, Micaela, and I wanted our wrists (Nicole has no room on her already tatted wrists…) and Nic decided on the back of her ankle. The plan was to get them that night on Fremont street where we would be going out after Tab got off work. Not going to lie, I was excited but more nervous than excited. Not about the pain, I knew it would hurt, but that I was going to get something on my body that would be there forever. It is a big decision I think!

The nighttime festivities came (as told in my post Dancing Queen, Only 25!) and the tattoo did not. We didn’t get down to Fremont until a little after midnight since Tabitha worked until almost 10pm. The tattoo shops closed at 2am so we just decided to go to a bar and dance. When morning came (as in the afternoon when we finally got out of bed after going to sleep at 5am) I was actually bummed we didn’t get them. This feeling proved to myself I wanted it. It was exciting that I was going to get something permanent like this with my sisters. To know that the four of us all have the same yet unique mark representing ourself and the four of us.

I think the other girls felt the same too because we decided we were going to get them still. We packed up all our stuff to leave and were planning on leaving for home right after the tattoo. Micaela found a place with good reviews, Diversity Tattoo, that conveniently had an opening 30 minutes later and their minimum price was $60 (the places on Fremont were $100 min). We got food and went on over. Our guy, Seth, was really nice and sketched our design. First try and it was perfect. When he asked who was going first the three of us youngsters pointed to Nicole. Sorry Nicole but you’re experienced with this! We went in age order. My heart was pounding so fast! Nicole’s probably took 10 minutes so I felt a little better BECAUSE I WAS NEXT! I made Nicole hold my hand when he started LOL, but then I was fine. I mean it still hurt, especially the part that was on my bone. Again though, 10 minutes and I was done. Next up was Tab. I actually thought she might cry because of the face she made. She held Nicole’s hand the whole time (she got her right wrist while Mic and I got our left). Last up Micaela.

It was official, the four of us are branded together and I was really excited! None of us wanted to tell the parents. We waited until this past Thursday when we had to because we went over there for Dakota’s (Nicole’s daughter) birthday dinner. Unplanned, Micaela and I happened to both wear long sleeves to dinner that we refused to pull up while eating even though it was spaghetti. We waited until we were all about to leave to tell them. Dad had the bigger reaction but in a not mad kind of way. He was really shocked (especially about Tab and I) and licked his thumb and tried to rub mine off LOLOL and proceeded to tell us they were lame and asked why we got houses. Dad, they are pentagons! (Sidebar: Nicole messed up and told people we got pentaGRAMS! *insert palm to face emoij* WOMAN! We are not satan worshipers get it right! PENTAGON!)

Anyways, it was fine and my dad texted me in the morning that it was actually kind of cool we got something together and he was happy it had meaning.

And that is the story folks! I am officially tatted. Guess that means I’m a bad ass now. You know, tattoo, started a blade gang, turning into a rebel over here! HAHAHA. Check it out!

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PS – This top is one of my faves and is perfect for fall and goes with either jeans or work pants AND is one sale! Linked here with LIKEtoKNOW.it ๐Ÿ™‚

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