Fall & the End of Summer

I am always so excited for fall for mostly obvious reasons like cooler weather (even though it takes forever to cool off in Southern California) and of course the fashion. Fall style is my absolute favorite because we can finally layer. Although, this year I was particularly excited for summer fashion. I think ever since Mexico last year I have just wanted to dress up in resort wear (even though I am not going anywhere…). I think my favorite thing about fall though is the feeling. The holidays are coming, all the fall decorations come out, 13 Nights of Halloween on TV (but this year on FreeForm they are doing 31 Nights of Halloween starting with Hocus Pocus on October 1st and I am SO EXCITED. Full 31 nights movie line up linked here!) I think the feelings may even be traced back as far as school days. School always starts in the fall and there was always a feeling of going back, especially in high school and college. You’re back to seeing all of your friends, football games every week, and mutual complaining about class. It is so exciting to be done with school but it is also a very nostalgic feeling, at least for me. I sometimes feel a longing to be back at school as if I missed out on so much and didn’t live it out to its full potential.

That is kind of how I feel at the end of every summer. I am so excited for fall yet I have this sort of sadness about summer being over. It goes by so quick and I feel like I didn’t get to do all of the things that I wanted to do. Every year I start off thinking it is going to be so epic and it plays out like a movie in my head at the start and it never quite looks like that at the end. How come as we get older the days go by so much faster? I know it gets hot super early but if you think of summer in calendar terms, June 21st-ish to September 22nd-ish, then there are really only 13ish weekends in summer. That means only 13 opportunities to plan fun. That may seem like a lot but count in birthdays, weddings (and all of their collective events like showers and bachelorette parties), and all other obligatory engagements we have to attend. Don’t get me wrong those are generally fun events and you get to see family or friends, but they are not events you planned for pure fun. Does that make sense? I guess I am just trying to say that we have limited weekends to jam all of our summer fun into and sometimes that can be hard at the end of summer to reflect on. Also having events every weekend makes the season go by even faster.

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I think it boils down to the seasons changing being bitter sweet. This change is so drastic. Fall is the lead into winter, spring is the lead into summer, winter to spring feels like a subtle change, but summer into fall seems so huge. It is almost like the end. I love this time of year but it may seem to go by even faster than summer all together. It is September and then all of a sudden it is back to back holidays and then a new year. One last thing and then I am done because I don’t even know if I know where I am going with this anymore. I think this summer to fall transition is harder for us in SoCal because it may be officially fall, but it is still over 90 degrees and feels like our calendar is confused. It is like we are stuck, whereas other states that actually get a real and proper fall are able to quickly hop over to the fall train and fully appreciate it.

I will get over this little funk, I think I just needed to talk it out. Maybe it all comes down to the fact that I have all of these fall clothes that I can’t wear yet and it really bums me out! It is okay. I will patiently wait for colder weather. At least my work feels like the arctic and I can wear sweaters there. Do any of you have similar feels to the summer to fall transition?

PS – Fall transition look linked here:

Tank | Shorts | Heels | Button Down (similar) | Sunnies | Belt (similar)

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Sister Tattoo!

Welp, it took me almost two weeks to reveal to everyone that I got a tattoo! Not because I was afraid to tell people, it was because I am 28 years old and was afraid to tell my parents! Haha I know, I am lame. They are not the biggest fans of tattoos but this one has a lot of meaning to me. My three sisters and I decided to get one together when we went to Vegas for the second to youngest’s 25th birthday. This wasn’t just a rash decision (kind of). We had talked about sister tattoos over a year ago I think it was. Ever since that talk it had been in the back of my mind. Ever so often I would go on Pinterest and look up small tattoo ideas and pin them on my secret tattoo board LOL!

On our drive out to Vegas, Nicole (oldest), Micaela (youngest) and I, Micaela brought the tattoos up. I mentioned one of my friend’s sister tattoos and that kind of sparked our idea. My friend’s is three triangles and their place in line by age was filled in (I hope that makes sense). So we wanted to play around with that but not with triangles. Micaela, while googling shapes, came across a pentagon. Five sides… there are five kids in our family (fifth is our brother and is between myself and the 25 year old birthday girl Tabitha). It was perfect! We would get four pentagons, one for each of us, with our place in the sister lineup filled in. (Brother is confused why he doesn’t have his own shape haha, but he won’t get the tattoo anyways so oh-well. We told him he is a line in the pentagon. But if HE DID get one, it would be the four pentagons with none of them filled in).

On Saturday we drew the tattoo on each other in the places we thought we wanted them. Tab, Micaela, and I wanted our wrists (Nicole has no room on her already tatted wrists…) and Nic decided on the back of her ankle. The plan was to get them that night on Fremont street where we would be going out after Tab got off work. Not going to lie, I was excited but more nervous than excited. Not about the pain, I knew it would hurt, but that I was going to get something on my body that would be there forever. It is a big decision I think!

The nighttime festivities came (as told in my post Dancing Queen, Only 25!) and the tattoo did not. We didn’t get down to Fremont until a little after midnight since Tabitha worked until almost 10pm. The tattoo shops closed at 2am so we just decided to go to a bar and dance. When morning came (as in the afternoon when we finally got out of bed after going to sleep at 5am) I was actually bummed we didn’t get them. This feeling proved to myself I wanted it. It was exciting that I was going to get something permanent like this with my sisters. To know that the four of us all have the same yet unique mark representing ourself and the four of us.

I think the other girls felt the same too because we decided we were going to get them still. We packed up all our stuff to leave and were planning on leaving for home right after the tattoo. Micaela found a place with good reviews, Diversity Tattoo, that conveniently had an opening 30 minutes later and their minimum price was $60 (the places on Fremont were $100 min). We got food and went on over. Our guy, Seth, was really nice and sketched our design. First try and it was perfect. When he asked who was going first the three of us youngsters pointed to Nicole. Sorry Nicole but you’re experienced with this! We went in age order. My heart was pounding so fast! Nicole’s probably took 10 minutes so I felt a little better BECAUSE I WAS NEXT! I made Nicole hold my hand when he started LOL, but then I was fine. I mean it still hurt, especially the part that was on my bone. Again though, 10 minutes and I was done. Next up was Tab. I actually thought she might cry because of the face she made. She held Nicole’s hand the whole time (she got her right wrist while Mic and I got our left). Last up Micaela.

It was official, the four of us are branded together and I was really excited! None of us wanted to tell the parents. We waited until this past Thursday when we had to because we went over there for Dakota’s (Nicole’s daughter) birthday dinner. Unplanned, Micaela and I happened to both wear long sleeves to dinner that we refused to pull up while eating even though it was spaghetti. We waited until we were all about to leave to tell them. Dad had the bigger reaction but in a not mad kind of way. He was really shocked (especially about Tab and I) and licked his thumb and tried to rub mine off LOLOL and proceeded to tell us they were lame and asked why we got houses. Dad, they are pentagons! (Sidebar: Nicole messed up and told people we got pentaGRAMS! *insert palm to face emoij* WOMAN! We are not satan worshipers get it right! PENTAGON!)

Anyways, it was fine and my dad texted me in the morning that it was actually kind of cool we got something together and he was happy it had meaning.

And that is the story folks! I am officially tatted. Guess that means I’m a bad ass now. You know, tattoo, started a blade gang, turning into a rebel over here! HAHAHA. Check it out!

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PS – This top is one of my faves and is perfect for fall and goes with either jeans or work pants AND is one sale! Linked here with LIKEtoKNOW.it 🙂

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Dancing Queen, Only 25!

I am super late to this but Sunday was my sister’s 25th birthday. I usually post a birthday photo the day of but considering the four of us sisters were in bed at 5am made it a little difficult, but so worth it.

This last weekend was some of the most fun I have had in awhile. The kind of fun that puts you in a weird, sad funk when it is over. My older sister Nicole, youngest sister Micaela, and I drove out to Tabitha’s place in Vegas on Friday night. Saturday we just hung out and relaxed, Tab worked at 6pm. I also made Nic and Mic play dress up because the blog. The plan was to be ready and go out after Tab got home. Thankfully, they let her off at 9:30ish. When she got home and changed, we were ready to go and called an Uber. Theme of the night: Mamma Mia! A few weeks ago Tab had said she wanted to wear her Mamma Mia pants out for her birthday. These are just long flared printed pants, but we like to call them Mamma Mia pants (our current obsession). So I told her then I want some too, which of course meant Nicole and Micaela wanted them as well.

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We made quite the scene in downtown Fremont, everyone got a kick out of our loudly patterned pants. It was so much fun and we were comfortable! So much better than typical Vegas dresses. I made the girls take this slightly embarrassing photo to pose like “Donna and the Dynamos” from the movie. Despite their push back (well only one sister in particular), we got a great photo and everyone watching us do it was kind of fun. Besides, we were in Fremont, there are plenty of worse things to see people doing.

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We spent majority of our time at a bar called Commonwealth where we danced on the rooftop dance floor forever. Although it was midnight, it was still 95° outside. When we left there, all Tabitha wanted to do was karaoke the song Mamma Mia. After an attempt at a karaoke bar across the street who was doing last calls, we ended up at a piano bar called Don’t Tell Mama, or Mamas for short. It was only fitting and was right next door to Commonwealth, a sort of real life foreshadowing of how our night would end. We sat in the bar and ordered 6 waters and a Dr. Pepper and Tab wrote our names and our song request on a napkin and the waitress put it on the piano. This place is cool because all of the servers and bar tenders sing too and are really good. The two customers that were singing when we walked in were also really good… maybe you have to be good to sing here? After the customers sang, our waitress sang three songs in a row. We thought that was it until the pianist called our names. Nicole refused but Tab, Micaela, and I graciously approached the stage. We positioned Tabitha’s boyfriend in the front row to record what was sure to be the voice of angels wearing bell-bottoms.

We sang the entire song accompanied by only a piano. It was epic. All 5 people in the audience loved us. We left the stage feeling euphoric. Nicole was probably the most alert sitting at the table with all seven drinks, Tabitha’s boyfriend was too drunk and never even pressed record, and his friend was asleep at the table. We sang the last song to close the night and walked out like champions. There is no proof, so really we could have sang like Meryl Streep and Lily James themselves and none of you would know any better. Let’s go with that version.

We Ubered home, it was 4am by the time we got back. Nicole went straight to bed and Tab and Mic called a third Uber to take them through the Del Taco drive through for us. Never does Del Taco breakfast taste better than at 5am. End scene. We went to bed.

Tabitha, I cannot believe you are 25. It feels like just yesterday we were celebrating my 25th birthday in Huntington Beach, now that is another lifetime. Now you are living on your own with your wonderful man in an entirely different state! The little California girl who said you would never leave. Please know that I am always so proud of you. You go for what you want in life and despite what you may think, I have always thought you were so brave. You are going to do such great things in life and I better be in your dedication in your future novel ;). I love you so much and cannot wait to see where you end up in life. Scratch that, I can wait. Let’s just never get older and live long and tell the world about all our ridiculous tales that probably only we think are funny. You are the only one who truly gets me and speaks my language and dialect of movie references and commercial quotes. Know that there is no one like you and you are so special. I hope you had an amazing birthday.

To my sisters (all ya’ll), there is no one quite like our group. I have seen sisters who are close but no one compares to us (of course I am biased but I have heard others agree). We are unique and unlike all others. Our bond is so special to me, you are my best friends. One of the biggest blessings in my life is having you goofballs as sisters. Friends that I know will be by my side always without question. Women who empower me and encourage me to always be at my best (and will occasionally be at our tragic worsts together 😉 ). There are no words to describe how I truly feel about you girls. It is simply a feeling that I know only you girls can understand. I am so proud of each of you and proud to be your sister. I love being able to brag about you all. People probably think I am annoying with how much I talk about you girls. I love you all always (yes Tab, after all this time – please comment to finish that LOL).

Weirdos forever.

XOXO -B

9th Wheeling It

Hi! I hope you all had a great Labor Day weekend! I did and I am sad that it is over and we are back to work. I know summer isn’t over yet but doesn’t Labor Day kind of feel like the last weekend? The next holiday I have off is Thanksgiving… Anyways, Sunday morning I went out to Palm Springs to hang with Heather and her boyfriend and their friends. We got a daybed at the Saguaro pool and it was SUCH a good time!

Our group was fun, I was totally the 9th wheel but never felt left out once. The girls mostly hung out together while the guys hung together. I feel like I need to express how great this friend group is because it just amazes me. The group of friends is THE GUYS! Heather’s boyfriend went to high school with the other three (plus two more that couldn’t make it) and all of their girlfriend’s/wives are now friends. I met them in January for Heather’s birthday and since then they have welcomed me with open arms into their group. They are such amazing people, so fun and genuine and constantly make you laugh. I love seeing friend groups like this but it is even more impressive that it is a guy friend group. I don’t know why that seems so rare to me, is that rare? I feel like guys don’t try to get together as much, or at least that is what I have seen. But these guys enjoy hanging together and having fun and including the girls (and me!) and I love it! It really makes me want to find a guy that enjoys his friends and not only wants to hang out with them, but wants me to hang out with him with them. That didn’t happen in my last relationship and spending time with this awesome group really shows me that is something that I want. I would 9th wheel them anytime!

The Saguaro was super fun though and I am happy we reserved a daybed. Last time I went in June we couldn’t even find a chair to put our bag on, we just had to put it on the ground (or more in the planter) and hope nobody took it or stepped on it. All of us girls got the fun drink cups (Heather got the watermelon and the rest of us got grapefruits) and filled them with the yummiest watermelon margaritas. We hung out at the pool for almost 6 hours (GREAT people watching) then finally paid the tab and left to get In-N-Out for dinner and then hang at home. At home we played Jenga and stayed up and talked a bit but were all asleep by 11pm. Why do we not party and day drink more often? It is great! You get to have fun but still go to bed early. Who needs to party at night when you can be done and sleep instead? We said this last night and were all that is how we know we are getting old.

Monday we just walked around downtown Palm Springs and got lunch and then desert, our favorite pineapple Dole Whip soft serve. While we ate the ice cream, one of the guys busted out Bean-Boozle, the jelly beans that either taste like something normal or something out of a garbage can. Why do they even make these vile things?! My first one I got SO lucky. I got a white which would either be coconut or spoiled milk, I got coconut PRAISE JESUS. The next three who picked a white got spoiled milk. By the second round the rule was if you spit it out you had to eat another. That round I got moldy cheese and was gagging. I chewed three times and couldn’t get it to go down so I took a drink and swallowed it like a pill. Everyone almost threw up once in this game yet we still played multiple rounds, remember how I said up there we were getting old? Maybe I need to rethink that.  Funny that a group of kids were sitting across from us watching our group of 9 almost 30 year olds gag and moan from forcing each other to play Bean-Boozle… who were the more mature ones now?

All in all it was a great weekend. It felt like a little mini vacation, we didn’t worry about anything but having a good time. I was also excited to wear my new bathing suit I got on sale when I went to the Topshop store at the Grove, I had been wanting a rainbow-ish print suit! I paired my GRL Collective Palm Springs line earrings with it and it was perfect!

Shop the look: Suit (the suit was on sale and they don’t have this one anymore but I linked a two piece in the same print BUT they don’t have a lot of sizes… the link will take you to Topshop anyways, look at their other suits! They have some good ones on sale, sorry!) | Earrings | Sunnies | Sandals

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Heather’s earrings are also from GRL Collective, linked here!
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Family Portrait – They adopted me LOL

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Real Talk – Fear #1

Fears are something everyone has, and I think it is safe to say that everyone has more than one fear. None of this fake “Four only has four fears” Divergent nonsense, although I do love that book series, but it is only a story! Everyone has fears and I am no different. It is funny to think of fears as an adult rather than as a kid. As a child I think we usually associated fear with literal scary things like monsters and being frightened… and spiders… still a very relevant fear. But as an adult, we have different fears that have developed, fears that children may not understand why they would be scary.

Today I am just talking about one of my fears. It seems like something silly but I know I am not alone in it, or at least I hope not. I fear doing things alone. Not things like grocery shop, get food, and every day things, but like going to events or places I have never been before type of things. For example, last year Nordstrom hosted these Style Tips and Sips nights at some of their stores. I thought that sounded fun, and it was free, so I signed up. As the night approached I already felt anxious about it. The night of the event I drove to Nordstrom which was all of maybe 2 miles from my place and sat in the parking lot talking on the phone with my sister. I was telling her how I was trying to think of any excuse not to go and she said she knew I would but was happy I was there. Finally I walked in to where the little meeting was supposed to be held and saw no one! I started to panic. I think that is one thing that invokes this fear the most, I hate looking lost or like I do not know what I am doing. Finally a super cute girl in a super cute outfit walked up and asked if I was there for the Style Tips and Sips and said they decided to change to a better location and showed me the way. I went in the room and was the first one there. As time went on it turned out I was the only one who showed that night so I got a little one on two style session with the girl who saved me, Taylor, and one of the beauty girls Lizia (I probably totally spelled that wrong, sorry babe!). It turned out to be so fun and ended with us girls chit-chatting and following each other on Instagram. Taylor is now someone I constantly see and interact with on Insta. Something I was afraid to go to, turned into a new little friendship, I was so happy I went.

So now the question, why am I so afraid of things like that?! I don’t even know if I know the right answer. I think it boils down to caring what others think. As I said earlier, I hate looking like I don’t know what I am doing or looking lost. But why?! Why do I lack the confidence to just do something and if I do it wrong who cares? It is a flaw that can really be crippling, but I am actively trying to work on it. I can’t remember exactly when we said it, but Tabitha (my sister) and I were giving each other a pep talk when we were trying to take photos and were afraid of looking lame, and we just said let’s do it! Do scary things! Since then, whenever I want to try something scary (to me) I just repeat that phrase in my head, do scary things. Every single time I do a scary thing, I come out so happy that I did it. Knowing this, has given me more confidence to do more. Well I still feel scared, but I can convince myself faster to just do it.

At church on Sunday, something was said that really stuck with me, “How much more of an adventure would life be, if we didn’t have to feel like we had to have it all together?” I will probably talk about this phrase again, but wow! If I didn’t care so much what others would think, then I probably wouldn’t have this fear of doing things alone and looking “silly”. Why do we need to have it all together when we only need to care about what God thinks? And if we are doing everything to serve and live by Him then we should know we are doing things right, amiright?! How much am I missing out on because I am scared? Probably a whole lot. I am not saying that boom I addressed this issue to the public, now I can be free from my fear. No, this is going to take some work and has been taking some work. Fear, no matter what it is for, imprisons you. It is not something that will go away, but I want to be able to manage it, acknowledge that it is there, and choose to move past it. Disclaimer, I think fear for real scary things is a safe thing… like jumping off a bridge, doing something illegal, or doing something you know is dangerous and you shouldn’t do. That little voice saying hey this is scary and you can get hurt or die, yes, listen to that little guy, but fear that makes you say no to life, let’s try to ignore him.

Does anyone share this little yet big fear with me? I would love to hear about it to know I am not alone here. Let’s overcome it together, say it with me DO SCARY THINGS! (the little voice in my head is saying SAFE SCARY THINGS! hahah, yes I am Chucky from the Rugrats)… more fears to come, I think it is helping to talk about it.

Happy Wednesday!

Shop the look: Tank | Shorts | Belt | Shoes | Heart Sunnies | Purse

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Bladies!!

If you follow me on Instagram, you have probably seen I have been rollerblading. Yes rollerblading! I am not even sure exactly how it came up but earlier this month Kristen, my fellow blader and I, went to our other friend’s, Theresa, son’s first birthday party. On our drive home we talked about rollerblading and before we knew it, the next day we were at Big 5 Sporting Goods buying blades! We had to go to two different Big 5s to find them and were so excited we immediately took them for a spin. There is a bike trail that goes through our city and through a couple neighboring ones. We parked at one of the entrances and took off! We were a little wobbly and flail-y but we did it and now that is all we want to do every day. I couldn’t believe how fun it was and is, I don’t remember it being so relaxing. The first night we went 3 miles and didn’t even realize it! I love that it is a workout but it doesn’t feel like one. Well sometimes, the father we go the more hills we find and realize our buns are burning on the way back up. Our last go we went 8.3 miles! Each time we try to go at least a little further. It is usually around 6-6:30 by the time we go. At that time it is getting cooler and the sun is setting. I have already said it but is really is so relaxing. Just getting outside in the fresh air, you cannot help but smile after being cooped up all day.

The coolest thing about it though, besides the workout and therapeutic qualities, is what it is starting. Kristen and I took a bunch of short videos on our Insta stories and I ended up making a video for IGTV (watch it here), and we both got a couple messages from other girls who want to join us! The next time we went we already had a new bladie! Holly had dug up her blades and came out with us. Now my older sister bought some (we just broke her’s in last night, she is a little shaky but will get back in the groove!), and two other girls want to buy some and join too! I feel like we really might be starting something here! We keep calling ourselves the bladies or babes on blades. I am going to be so excited if more babes start joining us. You just wait, soon there we be neighborhood complaints about the lady blade gang, it is going to be awesome!

I linked our blades below, it is crazy that Kris and I have already put 35.7 miles on these guys! They are much more comfortable than I remember as a kid, maybe because these ones, tie and buckle, not just buckle all the way up. I also linked my palm print workout outfit, they are new and I love them! If you are local to Rancho Cucamonga come join us! If not, seriously get some blades and start up where you are, you will love it!

Shop the look: Blades | Sports Bra | Leggings | Sunnies

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Feeling Behind

I know most have probably felt this way at some point in their lives or are feeling it right now, but I have really been battling the feeling of being behind. It all ties into that darn comparison trap. My older sister (year and a half older) is married, has a 5 (almost 6) year old, and is wanting to have another baby. My younger brother (year and a half younger) is married and they are expecting their first baby girl in February (SO EXCITED). My two little sisters are in serious relationships and will probably be engaged soon. Three of my five best friends are married and one of those three has a one year old son. Another best friend is engaged, and the fifth is in a serious relationship and will probably be engaged very soon. It is hard to think of how everyone you know is moving on with their lives and you feel like you are just stuck where you are.

The battle with this is I know I am not stuck, but I still get dragged down this hole of feeling like my life isn’t going like it is supposed to. I am not saying that all of this is because I do not have a boyfriend. I know a man does not determine my life. But it is more of my life isn’t going according to MY plan, yet everyone I know is. A breakup almost four years into a relationship was not part of my plan. Being single at 28 was not part of my plan. My plan was to be engaged right about now and planning a wedding. Instead I just work and talk about dates like nothing but inside I am terrified to go on one. Which leads me down another hole of thinking OMG I AM GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER BECAUSE I WILL NEVER MEET SOMEONE. Then I think, well maybe I am meant to be the single one forever. Like how do you meet someone, or better yet, how do you meet someone when all of your friends are in relationships?

I have to remember that MY plan means nothing. This is all GOD’S plan. I am only here because of Him and my life will go according to His plan and His will, no one else’s. As much as I try to control everything or have very strong ideas about how things should go, they mean nothing to His plan. This has been a major time of practicing patience. It is ironic because last year two of my girlfriends and I were doing a bible study with the book Wait and See, and my whole season of waiting was for the next chapter of my life, to get engaged and get married (or so I thought). Little did I know that instead of getting proposed to by the man I thought I would marry, I would get dumped. I am still in that season of waiting however, the circumstances have changed. I know that in order for God’s plan to be fulfilled and to bring me together with the one I am supposed to be with, I had to be rid of the one I wasn’t meant to be with. It took awhile to be able to admit that, but I know God wouldn’t let us go through such pain without purpose. Thinking of it in a positive light, I am one step closer to finding my future husband BECAUSE things ended with who I thought I was meant to be with.

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Now the real waiting is happening. Before it was waiting and waiting for the wrong guy to propose which was never going to happen, but I thought I knew what was going to happen. Now the waiting is unknown. I know one day I will get married. My friend reminded me that God did not put us here to be alone. But WHO will I get married to one day? WHERE will I meet this man? WHEN will I meet this man? WILL I know when I meet this man? There are a lot of unanswered questions. In fact, all are unanswered questions. The only thing I know to be true is that I need to have patience and I need to trust in God.

Feeling behind is a constant struggle. I literally have to work on it every day or it can really get you down. It can make you not excited for people you love when they are getting what you want. I have had to consciously make an effort to be genuinely excited. Since time has passed that is easier. My excitement for my friends and my family who are getting married and having babies is real, but there is still the pain deep down of wondering when my time will be. I will keep practicing patience, it is all I can do. That, and trusting that He really does have an amazing plan and purpose for me. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” Jeremiah 29:11.03_1600x