A Tragic Short- Wine & Relationships

My roomie and I were cleaning out our fridge tonight and we had a lot to throw away. Now our fridge matches our wallets…EMPTY! Anyways I was pulling the stuff out and she was holding the trash bag. 

Me: Is this trash?

Roomie: Yep. 

Me: What’s the date on this? Ugh bad. Um, what’s that?

Roomie: I don’t even know just toss it. 

Me: How about this wine? Wine goes bad. 

Roomie: Yep, just like relationships. 

I sat there laughing on the floor because she said it in such a matter of fact voice. I get some of the best lines from her!

So remember, wine goes bad, just like relationships. 

If that’s not positive thinking then I don’t know what is. 

Raising Boyfriends 

I was talking to one of the ladies I work with this week about hanging out with our girlfriends and what we were going to be doing over the weekend. She said that it is hard for her to get with her group of girlfriends often because they are all married and have their own things going on. She is about twenty years older than me so I know that we are in total different times of our lives, but this got me thinking about my group of girls. We all have such a good relationship right now. Whenever we get together we have so much fun and we are in a group message together all day, every day. Out of the five of us there are two boyfriends and two husbands (my Roomie is still on her man hunt). What is so perfect about our group is that all of our guys get along. Usually when we all get together, us girls and the guys, the guys go off on their own and us girls do our thing.

This whole thought about our guys getting along was making me think about dogs and cats. They do not get along, but when you raise a kitten and a puppy together, they do not know they are supposed to hate each other because they grew up together. I feel like since we introduced our guys to each other at the young points of our relationships, that they are kittens and puppies right now. Before this past August we were all boyfriend and girlfriend, or I guess you could say finances as well, but no one was married. I consider the marriage part of relationships to be the adult part. So since we all knew each other and were hanging out in our kitten and puppy stages, I think that our group will just continue to grow together as all of our relationships grow and get older.

Right now two out of the five of us are married, another two are in serious relationships, and the last is still searching, but she hasn’t lost hope. She told us how happy she is that she has four great examples of what a healthy relationship is, and now knows what she wants in a man. One important quality is that he gets along with the rest of the guys. Looking at our group, I do not think we will have an issue once all of us are married. I think that since we have “raised” our boys together since they were “kittens and puppies” that we will be just fine. There is not going to be any of that her husband doesn’t like so and so’s husband so we cannot invite them. We all just get along and it is easy.

So one day, twenty years from now, when I am in the time of my life that my co worker is now, I hope that our group is still the same, and that we get together as often as we do. I hope that the guys will actually refer to each other as friends and not think of each other as their wife’s friend’s husband. I hope that all of our future kids will be close like us and get along like they are actually cousins. Time will only tell, but thinking about the time of our lives that we are in right now excites me. Big things are starting to happen to us all. Two of us are married, two of us in the next few years will be next, my roomie will be following close behind, and once we have all experienced all of each others weddings together, we will start sharing a new time of our lives consisting of babies and a whole lot of firsts. Not only will we be sharing clothes with each other, we will be handing down baby clothes and advice. Our puppies and kittens will have grown up into men, fathers, and friends who have backyard barbecues, watching the kids run around, while us girls sit together talking about everything and everyone, as usual. That sounds like a pretty perfect future.

You’re My Best Friend… On Snapchat

A huge app that many people have and enjoy today is Snapchat. This app is used for many different reasons, but I won’t go into that. Use your imagination. For my girlfriends and I, we use it to amuse ourselves and pass time at work. For example, sending five snaps in a row of yourself making different faces just to make sure we understand how bored you are. Sometimes my sisters and I will even have a competition back and forth of who can have the most chins. You know, all in good fun.

snapchat

The makers of Snapchat added what they thought was a great feature: Snapchat Best Friends. This is convenient when you always send snaps to the same three people. You don’t have to scroll down and find their names every time, they are right there on top. You can even tap on your friend’s names and see who their three best friends are. What a great idea! Let me check how many people’s best friend list I am on. Of course I am one of my boyfriend’s, he just loves me.

Wait.

Hang on…

Who is XOHotMama and why the hell is she one of my boyfriend’s best friends?!

Who has been asked by their boyfriend or girlfriend who their Snapchat Best Friends were? My boyfriend asked me as a joke but I think there was some real curiosity behind it. He told me that I had more guys than girls as my best friends. After he said that I told him that one was gay and the other was my niece’s dad. His only response was “oh”. I have had a few friends though where a real argument started over who they were snap chatting. This comes down to whether or not you trust your boyfriend or girlfriend. Especially with the reputation associated with Snapchat since the photos delete after you open them.

I am not saying that Snapchat is a bad thing. I use it all the time. I just think that it is interesting how another part of social media can have such an effect on our relationships.

Okay-Ok-K

There is a certain small word that can not only change the intended or unintended meaning of a text, but also makes us girls totally freak out. This word is OKAY and its various forms as OK and the infamous and hated K. How is it that we have created such different meanings out of a word that simply expresses approval or acceptance? In reality OKAY, and both of its shorter versions, should all share the same meaning. However, us girls have taken it upon ourselves to create our own meanings, and yes I say us and our because we all know we have done it.

So what do these tiny words mean now in a world of texting? OKAY and OK in my eyes personally mean the same. I don’t think anything different of the two. I myself always use the form OK. The only time this word would set off an alarm for me would be if the person I am texting usually uses the form OKAY and replied with an OK instead. Then I would know that something is up. The biggest culprit of this topic though is the single letter K. The subtext of this letter is significantly longer than the word itself, if you can even consider it a word. Guys use this as a response in two ways, both of which drive girls crazy and instantly make us snap.

The first way that guys use this dumb little letter in a text is when they are being lazy. Yes why don’t you shorten an already short word. Do you guys realize how lazy that makes you look? If you are a frequent OK user this means that you literally cut a two letter word into a single digit. This does not do well on defending your literacy.

Texted me K

The other way guys use this word is deliberately. Some of you know what this word does to us girls and that’s why you do it. It’s like lighting a fuse on dynamite. For the guys that are just lazy, you not only freak us out, but you are plain irritating. However for the those of you who use this word on purpose, you are cruel. When we see this word K as a response it sends us girls over the edge. Why do we get this reaction from such a tiny word? It is because we have absolutely no idea what you’re are feeling in your response so the first feeling we jump to is anger. You write K and instantly we assume you’re mad. At first we are mad too just for the fact that you wrote it, but then we start to think. That’s the problem with girls’ minds, we over think everything. Then this leads back to my discussion about us girls turning psycho because of text messages we can’t understand. Now that you’re probably mad, because obviously are or you would have had the decency to send the O along with your K, we must now think back on everything that has happened since we last saw you and figure out what we did to make you upset. This task is not easy. A girl’s mind is like a microscope. If we are over analyzing the letter K just imagine everything else we over analyze. We will obsess over this letter until we know that you are not mad at us by either over nicely texting you showing you how not mad we are, going over to see you so that we can see with our own eyes that you are not mad, or doing the worst and asking you and starting a nothing argument.

When girls find out that this response was out of shear laziness we have mixed emotions of anger and relief. Angry that we waisted so much energy and stress analyzing an imaginary situation, and relief that we did nothing wrong. But the guys that purposefully use this response as a weapon, girls go even more crazy over. This generally happens when you are already in an argument. What makes this worse is that the guy is actually mad and he knows the way to make you just as mad is to tell you K. This usually occurs when us girls are trying to make nice at the end of the fight.

“Okay so I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”- “K”

“Well good night”- “K”

“I’ll text you later”- “K”

They know that you feel guilty and they prey on it to leave you cringing that he is still upset when he probably doesn’t even care anymore. Shame on you guys.

The lesson here for everyone, guys and girls, is to just add an O whenever you feel like saying K. Bring some relief to everyone and spare a night of reliving the past couple days in hope that you don’t find anything that could have made the other mad. Okay? Ok.

Guys I’m curious to know how you feel when a girl responds K?

Tragic Titles

Continuing on with my psycho girl discussion, let’s talk about titles, as in relationship titles. Why is it that whether or not having a title on our relationships affects how psycho we are? I experienced this before my boyfriend made us official, my BFFFF experienced it with her old guy, and my roomie is now currently experiencing it. This is a common phenomenon which actually made me feel better about my own psycho thoughts knowing that it happens to others. I realized that when there is no title girls feel no security. Sure you can be “exclusive” and only be dating each other, but that title makes a huge difference for girls. Without it we get those thoughts that yes he is dating me, but what if an opportunity arises with another girl and he thinks “hmmm we technically aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend.” We have all had those thoughts. Please do not forget that that is the crazy talking.

e card 1

It really is amazing how much of a difference a title can make. It changes the “he is not texting me back. What is he doing? Is he with another girl? Is he getting drunk around other girls?” into “my boyfriend isn’t texting me back because he is probably playing his video game,” like mine is doing right now. As girls we are possessive. We want him to be ours and we want to know that he is ours. We don’t want to deal with the guessing of whether or not he is ours. I hate the whole “What are we?” thoughts. When you are in that part of your relationship everyone seems to remind you that you aren’t official by asking you every time they see you, “is he your boyfriend yet?”, “are you two official yet?” You are only stressing your fellow sister out with these questions. This stage is awkward enough to be in, especially with introductions. What are you supposed to say, “um hi, this is the guy I am dating but he isn’t my boyfriend yet Dave.” The guys don’t know how to introduce you either so they go with what they think is right which is actually totally wrong and sends girls spiraling into an internal psycho tantrum by saying, “Hey this is my friend Jen.” FRIEND?! Oh no he did not just call you his friend. Honestly he doesn’t mean it like that, but he has no clue what he just started in your head which will potentially be an argument later on of you telling him that he just considers you friends, and he will not even remember the event of introducing you as that.

e card 2

Ladies as much as you can, try to keep the crazy in of how you feel not having a title. If you want that title he cannot know how psycho you are. Remember, let a little psychoness out at a time, guys cant handle it all at once. As for the title, don’t let it stress you out more than it should. Sure it’s okay to stress out about it if you’ve been dating forever and he hasn’t made it official. Sometimes guys just don’t realize that they are slacking. This is when you can let a little smidgen of psycho show and have the “what are we?” talk. This way you either corner him into making you his girlfriend, or you’ll know if that is even his intention or if you are wasting your time. Be strong girls and be openly psycho in small doses.