My roomie and I were cleaning out our fridge tonight and we had a lot to throw away. Now our fridge matches our wallets…EMPTY! Anyways I was pulling the stuff out and she was holding the trash bag.
Me: Is this trash?
Me: What’s the date on this? Ugh bad. Um, what’s that?
Roomie: I don’t even know just toss it.
Me: How about this wine? Wine goes bad.
Roomie: Yep, just like relationships.
I sat there laughing on the floor because she said it in such a matter of fact voice. I get some of the best lines from her!
So remember, wine goes bad, just like relationships.
If that’s not positive thinking then I don’t know what is.
Our group of five just recently celebrated our second bachelorette party. The second out of the five of us is getting married in a week.
The first bachelorette party was in Palm Springs, this one was in Pasadena. We started the day off with a pole dancing class. That is so hard. I was sore for almost five days and my feet still have bruises on the tops of them. We thought we were doing good until the instructor told us to watch our faces. Our concentration on trying to make our awkward bodies sexy resulted in very ugly faces. They were a mix of concentration and pain. Honestly how can you make a “sexy push-up” sexy? Sexy or not, it’s still a push up, and your knees are digging into wood floor. We looked like five unsexy girls, with no athletic strength, whose faces looked like we smelled something weird. Nevertheless it was fun and an awesome workout.
After pole dancing we drove down to Pasadena. My roomie is in the wedding so she was in charge of the balloons for the pole dancing class. We had to bring the balloons to the hotel next, so she and I drove from Chino Hills to Pasadena with twelve balloons in the backseat. Not only were the balloons obstructing her vision of driving, her passenger side mirror is shattered from someone hitting it and leaving. I had to be her eyes for her to get into the lanes on my side. The balloons kept creeping up to the front seat and trying to stick to our hair. So there we were, driving half blind, with a car full of balloons, and both of our hair sticking up on end. Again, we were pretty sexy.
By the time we got to Pasadena we were dying from malnourishment since we had only breadsticks all day, and the smell of the balloons was making us sick. I googled a McDonalds because it is fast and cheap. Perfect! It was literally a mile away… Okay we should be pulling up on it right now… It should be on this corner… Why is there just a big building on this corner… GOOGLE LIED! We both felt like vomiting by this time and dinner wasn’t for another two and a half hours. Next I looked up a Burger King. This one was a little over a mile away. We were so scared that it wasn’t going to be there anymore too. We found it though! We saw the big sign of the BK Lounge. I got a double cheese burger and she got a ten piece chicken nugget. We literally moaned after every bite. It was one of the best meals we had ever had. Instantly I felt better and ready to take on the night.
We found the hotel and got ready and all that. Luckily we were all in the same room minus the bride. Dinner was good at Pops Champagne Bar where my roomie and I successfully finished a full bottle of wine together. After dinner was the usual bar hopping and DDing (Dancing and Drinking). At last it was 2 A.M. and the last call already passed. It was time to go back to the hotel. We looked up where we were, only 0.6 miles from the hotel. One of the girls asked if we should call a cab. One of the other girls, T, and I looked at each other and both said no it’s not that far, we can walk and make it (clearly we were both broke and didn’t want to pay for a cab). Half way into this journey back to the hotel, T and I were dying. All the other girls had comfy heels except for her and I. Our pumps were killing us. She wanted to take hers off and I told her no! Just like she told that last bride, A, at her bachelorette, we are better than that! WE DO NOT TAKE OUR SHOES OFF! She and I just walked slow behind the rest of the girls. Eventually we kept getting farther and farther behind. We were down to practically a crawl. The other girls stopped and waited for us. They started cheering us on like we were running a marathon and were almost to the finish line. We felt like crying our feet hurt so bad. The hotel was in view though. The second we walked into the lobby we kicked our shoes off. It was the second time I was in heaven that night, first a burger, now walking barefoot in the Hilton lobby.
It was time for bed. We got in pjs and drank some water and Gatorade to avoid a hang over and in minutes the lights were out. About a half hour later I heard a weird noise. I was sleeping next to my roomie and asked what it was, she didn’t know. It kind of sounded like a wrapped. All of a sudden I heard a cork pop, then someone drinking from the bottle. I looked up and saw A putting the bottle down and get back into bed and fall asleep. What the heck! In the morning I asked her if she remember popping bottles in her sleep and she had no idea!
All in all, the trip was a success. Two bachelorette parties down, three to go. May the tragicness continue and get better with each one.
Today my four friends and I, we call ourselves the fab 5, had a Sunday Brunch. We all met up at one of their apartments at 11:45 and were all drunk within an hour resulting in us devouring an entire box of wheat thins, a tray of bear claws, a box of waffles, and eggs and bacon. The culprit of this binge eating fest I’m pretty sure was from the five of us polishing off three bottles of champagne (yet not even finishing half of the gallon of orange juice), two pitchers of this amazing concoction I made with lemonade, sprite, red moscato, and dragonberry Bacardi, and a half bottle of wine. Needless to say, we were bombed. If it wasn’t obvious by all the bottles and food out, you could sure tell when all the “I love you”s came out and we kept group hugging. Eventually we all started to fall asleep so I figured I should sober up to drive. My roomie is not in as good of shape as me. She told me, like she has many times before, to not let her drink that much next time, as she holds the side of the couch “spinning”.
Thursday night and Heather and I finally had the night off together. We were going to snack for dinner and watch disney movies. Sounded like a good roomie movie night.
Me: “I’ll make the popcorn!”
Heather: “Okay I’ll open the wine!”
So I start making the popcorn, in a pot of course because it’s so much better than the microwaved bag one, and heather gets the cork screw out to open the wine. The popcorn starts to pop, Heather is still working on the wine. The popcorn is done, Heather is still working on the wine. I poured the popcorn into two bowls and salted it, Heather is still trying to open the wine.
Heather: “Britt I can’t get this.”
She had the corkscrew barely in the cork and couldn’t screw it down any farther so she took it back out. The cork was starting to look a little beat up. I told her I would try, maybe I was strong enough.
I took the bottle and the corkscrew from her and started screwing it in. It seemed to be going good. It kept twisting and twisting and soon started to seem like it wasn’t going farther down into the cork. Suddenly I felt something come loose…
I broke the screw off the corkscrew. I must have been too strong for it. We died laughing. But now what do we do with the screw? We couldn’t get it out of the cork and we don’t have pliers to try it. So now we have a full bottle of wine in our fridge with a corkscrew sticking out of it and we have to be careful to not cut ourselves on it when we get stuff out.
This must be why it’s “Wine Wednesday” and not “Wine Thursday”. Wine bottles refuse to be opened on Thursdays. We got a new opener though to try it again this week!
We will see how it goes. You know us Tragic Girls need us a drink! If we can open it…