Whaleish Motivation

Does anyone know where I can find motivation to work out? Is there like a certain store for that? Why is it so hard for us to get off our rears and go work out? I sit at my desk all day long on my computer and just feel how much of my fat rolls over the top of my pants. Forget muffin tops, it’s all about the pie crust all the way around. I feel depressed about my pie crust everyday. I don’t even like pie that much! Why can’t I get motivated then? I’ll have spurts. I’ll do really good for a week or two, and then life gets in the way. I think life wants you to be fat because when you’re not trying to workout you have nothing to do, but when you want to get fit, life is like “Hey! Want to hang out?”  And of course you’re like “SURE!”

I am pretty sure there are plenty of others, like myself, who find every excuse to not workout. Excuses like if I work out then I have to wash my hair and I don’t want to do that, or I can’t work out Pretty Little Liars is on tonight at 8 PM and I get home at 6 PM so there just isn’t enough time, or I could work out, or I could eat this loaf of bread and eat this ice cream. Do any of you ladies know these excuses? Anyone? No? Just me? Well it stops now!

I can’t complain about my pie crust fat roll if all I am going to do is complain about it. I know I usually start getting my motivation when I actually start getting some results, it is just getting to that point. I will do it though! Keep me accountable please! It is time for healthy eating and exercise DAILY! I have a little head start since I now don’t eat bread (for the most part). I recently did an experiment I found out that gluten apparently is the cause of my migraines. My experiment is now on its third week, but that long without a migraine is like a miracle. (Side note: having a headache was usually my biggest excuse to not work out so that got rid of that). So no bread (unless it is gluten free, which costs a fortune so like I said, no bread), more fruits and veggies, NO SODA, and exercise EVERY DAY! I am going to end this blog right now and do squats.

Please enjoy the following motivation:

Back Fat Betty

Shamu

Trying To Work Out

Why does wanting to be in shape have to take so much discipline? How nice would it be to just be like “yeah I’m going to start working out now,” and that’s it? No instead you have to actually make yourself work out and not give in to the many excuses we come up with, like the biggest one… I’ll do it tomorrow. This has been me. I keep saying it’s not even close to summer yet. Now look, it’s April, summer is around the corner and I am still not bikini ready. I had myself convinced to run today after work but then it rained, oops. 

I will procrastinate no more! I will not be fat this summer! I started this whole eat healthy thing again for like the millionth time but I’m liking it. I made a pretty delicious salad if I do say so myself. But you just wait, because I’m getting myself a hot bod. 

In the inspiring words from Laura Penny, “you’re fat as shit, you jiggle when you walk, we’re going on a diet.”

Thank you Laura. You really know how to motivate. Watch her video for you own motivation: Wait What: Keeping Your Diet

  

Stop The Crop

Sometimes I have to wonder what some people see when they look in their mirror or if they even bother to look in one at all. You should know your body type and what looks good on it since its your own body you walk around in everyday, yet some people seem confused. The biggest offender of this, besides my last rant about leggings, is the crop top. The last couple of years these have gotten very popular. But just because it’s popular does not mean that everyone has to wear them. This is an article of clothing that CANNOT be worn by everyone. Considering the amount of coverage that a crop provides means that only certain body types should wear them.
IMG_0188.PNG

This will be brutally honest but if you need to ask if the crop top you’re trying on makes you look fat, then it’s probably because you look fat. Just the thought of you thinking you look slightly fat means that yes you do look fat and you are looking for someone to tell you that you don’t and then you can wear the crop top when you know you shouldn’t. I mean your friend told you that you don’t look fat so that means you’re not because why would she lie to you, she is you friend. The truth is that it’s hard to find a friend that will tell you the truth that you look fat when you do.
If a crop top is going to be worn it needs to be paired with high-waisted bottoms. They just don’t look good with low cut pants or shorts and your gut hanging out over them. There needs to be a stop to the crop, a stop to the cascading rolls over waist lines. This is not being mean, this is for your own good to save you from embarrassment. Remember, flat equals crop, fat equals not.

Leggings Are Not Pants

There is a certain trend in fashion right now that must have been a mistake. Some girl no doubt saw some other girl that she believes to be fabulous, go get the mail in her apartment building wearing her inside clothes, and this quiet observer sadly mistook this said fabulous girl’s outfit to be fashionable. Thus resulting in the observer wearing the article of clothing in question and telling her other pitiful yet eager followers that she saw some fabulous girl sporting this new style and that if they too start to wear it they will too be fabulous. From this came such a chain reaction that now you can have a competition with a friend making tallies of who can spot the most girls in one day wearing this misunderstanding. I’m here with a revelation to tell you that you have been lied to for LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS.
I know this must come as a shock to many but it’s true, leggings are just not pants. If leggings could suffice as an acceptable pair of bottoms then that would imply that you could not see the flesh of your butt cheeks, the outline of your thong, and your crack right through them. How often do we get the awful pleasure of witnessing this, and for punishment for not telling the offender that you can see right through her so called pants, you cannot look away from the fashion crime scene. You’re just standing there with your eyes glued to her butt crack thinking how does she not realize they are see through? You think, mine are never like that… Right? Assuredly you bend over rear to mirror just to prove to yourself how much better you are in wearing leggings as pants than the awful site before you. Oh look, you forgot you were wearing your favorite pink undies, oh how you love these undies, you were wearing them the first time you… Wait… Why can you see your pink undies if you’re wearing pants? Just like that you stand straight up and walk out of the store, to your car and drive home in shame. It’s okay, you were under the illusion, but the veil is being lifted and you can come see the light.
This does not mean that leggings are bad, they just need to be worn in a proper way. It’s actually very simple but it appears that it needs to be spelled out for some. So listen carefully for instructions are about to be given about how to properly dress yourself. Are you ready? Now take note, leggings are perfect when you wear a top that covers your butt. It’s that easy! They make extremely cute outfits and not to mention they’re comfortable. Pair a long sweater over leggings and add boots and you have the perfect fall outfit. If you’re trying to get dressed and you’re wondering if you shirt is okay with you leggings just turn around and check your butt. If it’s not covered you need to change. Nobody wants to see thinly covered cheeks that jiggle when you walk. Do yourself a favor and take this advice.

No need to thank me.

-Tragic Girls