Stop The Crop

Sometimes I have to wonder what some people see when they look in their mirror or if they even bother to look in one at all. You should know your body type and what looks good on it since its your own body you walk around in everyday, yet some people seem confused. The biggest offender of this, besides my last rant about leggings, is the crop top. The last couple of years these have gotten very popular. But just because it’s popular does not mean that everyone has to wear them. This is an article of clothing that CANNOT be worn by everyone. Considering the amount of coverage that a crop provides means that only certain body types should wear them.

This will be brutally honest but if you need to ask if the crop top you’re trying on makes you look fat, then it’s probably because you look fat. Just the thought of you thinking you look slightly fat means that yes you do look fat and you are looking for someone to tell you that you don’t and then you can wear the crop top when you know you shouldn’t. I mean your friend told you that you don’t look fat so that means you’re not because why would she lie to you, she is you friend. The truth is that it’s hard to find a friend that will tell you the truth that you look fat when you do.
If a crop top is going to be worn it needs to be paired with high-waisted bottoms. They just don’t look good with low cut pants or shorts and your gut hanging out over them. There needs to be a stop to the crop, a stop to the cascading rolls over waist lines. This is not being mean, this is for your own good to save you from embarrassment. Remember, flat equals crop, fat equals not.

Leggings Are Not Pants

There is a certain trend in fashion right now that must have been a mistake. Some girl no doubt saw some other girl that she believes to be fabulous, go get the mail in her apartment building wearing her inside clothes, and this quiet observer sadly mistook this said fabulous girl’s outfit to be fashionable. Thus resulting in the observer wearing the article of clothing in question and telling her other pitiful yet eager followers that she saw some fabulous girl sporting this new style and that if they too start to wear it they will too be fabulous. From this came such a chain reaction that now you can have a competition with a friend making tallies of who can spot the most girls in one day wearing this misunderstanding. I’m here with a revelation to tell you that you have been lied to for LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS.
I know this must come as a shock to many but it’s true, leggings are just not pants. If leggings could suffice as an acceptable pair of bottoms then that would imply that you could not see the flesh of your butt cheeks, the outline of your thong, and your crack right through them. How often do we get the awful pleasure of witnessing this, and for punishment for not telling the offender that you can see right through her so called pants, you cannot look away from the fashion crime scene. You’re just standing there with your eyes glued to her butt crack thinking how does she not realize they are see through? You think, mine are never like that… Right? Assuredly you bend over rear to mirror just to prove to yourself how much better you are in wearing leggings as pants than the awful site before you. Oh look, you forgot you were wearing your favorite pink undies, oh how you love these undies, you were wearing them the first time you… Wait… Why can you see your pink undies if you’re wearing pants? Just like that you stand straight up and walk out of the store, to your car and drive home in shame. It’s okay, you were under the illusion, but the veil is being lifted and you can come see the light.
This does not mean that leggings are bad, they just need to be worn in a proper way. It’s actually very simple but it appears that it needs to be spelled out for some. So listen carefully for instructions are about to be given about how to properly dress yourself. Are you ready? Now take note, leggings are perfect when you wear a top that covers your butt. It’s that easy! They make extremely cute outfits and not to mention they’re comfortable. Pair a long sweater over leggings and add boots and you have the perfect fall outfit. If you’re trying to get dressed and you’re wondering if you shirt is okay with you leggings just turn around and check your butt. If it’s not covered you need to change. Nobody wants to see thinly covered cheeks that jiggle when you walk. Do yourself a favor and take this advice.

No need to thank me.

-Tragic Girls