Currently I am in the middle of packing up my apartment, which is the absolute worst. What makes packing the worst is the clothes. Not only do you have to make sure you get ALL of your laundry done, but you have to actually go through your clothes. If anyone knows me, they know that my closet is stuffed to overflowing, and that going through all of my clothes could take days. Today was good though, I actually got all of my laundry done, and I am currently taking a break from packing up all of the clothes in my dresser. Looking at my piles of clothes all over the floor, and the wet clothes hanging up to dry in my bedroom doorway, the bathroom doorway, and across my shower rod, I started thinking about how I need to get rid of some of these. My roomie and I have a huge box in the living room that is the donation box, and of course it is already overflowing. Looking at my clothes again though got me thinking, why is it so hard to get rid of some of my clothes when I have a ridiculous amount? I don’t even wear half of them most times.

When you work in retail for as long as I did, and become such a lover of clothes and style, every piece that you own is a part of you. Getting rid of clothes is like giving away a piece of yourself. Clothing is not only something that we wear, it is also an art, a way that we express ourselves. Your closet is like a place that you store your moods and attitudes. Different outfits you put together can dictate how you feel and your confidence level. You can feel like being invisible or feel like you are going to take on the world. Style has no limitations.

Just like how we change, so does our style. When you go through your closet and see things that you instantly know you can get rid of, it is because you have changed and you are getting rid of your old self to make room for your new self. When you cant find anything in your closet to get rid of, or can’t bring yourself to, I am starting to think that we shouldn’t force ourselves to. We may be prematurely forcing our old self away for a new self that isn’t ready. I feel like I am in this in-between stage right now. I am now in a professional job however, we don’t have to wear super professional clothes. This doesn’t mean that all of my old clothes are appropriate though. My last job was in retail and I was allowed and encouraged to wear crop tops and cut off shorts. Although I dress nice and casual for work, I cannot be wearing my old clothes. Does this mean I am not ready to fully leave my old self behind in exchange for this new self that is completely immersed in adult life?

I think something else that makes it hard to get rid of clothes is that in a way, we personify them. Each item hanging in our closet represents a memory, and also hangs in anticipation of being part of a new memory. This makes it hard to let go of things, as if getting rid of a certain top means you are getting rid of the memory and event that is hooked to it. Sometimes though we come to terms with it. Last week I was looking through clothes and almost got rid of a top, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. Today I felt differently, and got rid of that top, plus three more. I think I am coming to terms more with my new self. Although I am getting rid of pieces of my old self, I am constantly looking at and getting pieces of my new self.

Style and fashion will always be changing, just like ourselves, sometimes it is okay though to keep some of the old and turn it into something new. You don’t have to leave all of yourself behind.