Real Talk – Fear #1

Fears are something everyone has, and I think it is safe to say that everyone has more than one fear. None of this fake “Four only has four fears” Divergent nonsense, although I do love that book series, but it is only a story! Everyone has fears and I am no different. It is funny to think of fears as an adult rather than as a kid. As a child I think we usually associated fear with literal scary things like monsters and being frightened… and spiders… still a very relevant fear. But as an adult, we have different fears that have developed, fears that children may not understand why they would be scary.

Today I am just talking about one of my fears. It seems like something silly but I know I am not alone in it, or at least I hope not. I fear doing things alone. Not things like grocery shop, get food, and every day things, but like going to events or places I have never been before type of things. For example, last year Nordstrom hosted these Style Tips and Sips nights at some of their stores. I thought that sounded fun, and it was free, so I signed up. As the night approached I already felt anxious about it. The night of the event I drove to Nordstrom which was all of maybe 2 miles from my place and sat in the parking lot talking on the phone with my sister. I was telling her how I was trying to think of any excuse not to go and she said she knew I would but was happy I was there. Finally I walked in to where the little meeting was supposed to be held and saw no one! I started to panic. I think that is one thing that invokes this fear the most, I hate looking lost or like I do not know what I am doing. Finally a super cute girl in a super cute outfit walked up and asked if I was there for the Style Tips and Sips and said they decided to change to a better location and showed me the way. I went in the room and was the first one there. As time went on it turned out I was the only one who showed that night so I got a little one on two style session with the girl who saved me, Taylor, and one of the beauty girls Lizia (I probably totally spelled that wrong, sorry babe!). It turned out to be so fun and ended with us girls chit-chatting and following each other on Instagram. Taylor is now someone I constantly see and interact with on Insta. Something I was afraid to go to, turned into a new little friendship, I was so happy I went.

So now the question, why am I so afraid of things like that?! I don’t even know if I know the right answer. I think it boils down to caring what others think. As I said earlier, I hate looking like I don’t know what I am doing or looking lost. But why?! Why do I lack the confidence to just do something and if I do it wrong who cares? It is a flaw that can really be crippling, but I am actively trying to work on it. I can’t remember exactly when we said it, but Tabitha (my sister) and I were giving each other a pep talk when we were trying to take photos and were afraid of looking lame, and we just said let’s do it! Do scary things! Since then, whenever I want to try something scary (to me) I just repeat that phrase in my head, do scary things. Every single time I do a scary thing, I come out so happy that I did it. Knowing this, has given me more confidence to do more. Well I still feel scared, but I can convince myself faster to just do it.

At church on Sunday, something was said that really stuck with me, “How much more of an adventure would life be, if we didn’t have to feel like we had to have it all together?” I will probably talk about this phrase again, but wow! If I didn’t care so much what others would think, then I probably wouldn’t have this fear of doing things alone and looking “silly”. Why do we need to have it all together when we only need to care about what God thinks? And if we are doing everything to serve and live by Him then we should know we are doing things right, amiright?! How much am I missing out on because I am scared? Probably a whole lot. I am not saying that boom I addressed this issue to the public, now I can be free from my fear. No, this is going to take some work and has been taking some work. Fear, no matter what it is for, imprisons you. It is not something that will go away, but I want to be able to manage it, acknowledge that it is there, and choose to move past it. Disclaimer, I think fear for real scary things is a safe thing… like jumping off a bridge, doing something illegal, or doing something you know is dangerous and you shouldn’t do. That little voice saying hey this is scary and you can get hurt or die, yes, listen to that little guy, but fear that makes you say no to life, let’s try to ignore him.

Does anyone share this little yet big fear with me? I would love to hear about it to know I am not alone here. Let’s overcome it together, say it with me DO SCARY THINGS! (the little voice in my head is saying SAFE SCARY THINGS! hahah, yes I am Chucky from the Rugrats)… more fears to come, I think it is helping to talk about it.

Happy Wednesday!

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#girlstrong

Dear Heather (aka Roomie),

I cannot believe that it has been a year since we started off on this adventure together. Remember when this was all just talk a couple of years ago? You and I talking all the time on the sales floor about all the ways we were going to decorate when we finally got a place. Then looking for a place, how hard was that? I would have never thought we would have had to look at so many apartments before we found ours. Then we found the one. We moved in and both realized that we had way too much stuff, and remember all those decorating plans? How well did those go? Decorating is expensive and so is everything else. We learned though didn’t we? Now we can budget, check the air in our own tires, and cook… kind of.

But this letter isn’t to tell you all of the things that you already know that we have gone through together. This letter is for you. The moment I saw the #girlstrong shirts I knew what I wanted to do. We are supposed to write about who makes us strong and I wanted to write about you. Heather you’re one of the people who makes me strong. You understand me so well, mostly because of the fact that we have had some very similar experiences. So similar it is almost unbelievable, but because of that, you have helped me get through them. I know I can talk to you about anything, you have such a great ear. When I say anything, I literally mean anything. I can tell you the craziest things, and I have, and you wont judge me. We have had some pretty interesting conversations that end with us laughing and feeling like crazy people.

Heather you are such an amazing person with an amazing heart. I want you to always know that. You are such a great friend, and not just to me, but to all of our friends. You listen and give whole heartedly. You always know what to say in just about any situation, or you know exactly what questions to ask. I could not have asked for a better roommate. I would not trade this experience for anything. No matter where we go from here, you will always be my Roomie. I love you so much. Thank you for everything.

Love always, your Roomie,

Brittany

We got these fabulous shirts from Shabby Apple, which we found on Instagram. In their post they said they wanted to celebrate the strength in all women so they created the #GIRLSTRONG, and for every post sharing who inspires you to be strong with the #GIRLSTRONG, they will be donating 10 cents to the Elizabeth Smart Foundation.

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#GIRLSTRONG