Tag Archives: confidence

lifestyle, the.B.Law

My Blog Relationship Status

I have been thinking about my blog a lot lately, and how I want to get back into it (I am always in a state of “wanting to get back into it”). But I also need to address and come to terms of where I am at relationship wise with my blog. I started this seven years ago now (as Tragic Girls), and have been the.B.Law for five and a half years I think. But over the years, my blogging activities were circumstantial to what was going on in my life.

When I started off as Tragic Girls, it was both fun and scary, I posted timidly. I remember the first time I published, I was so giddy I didn’t even sleep well, wondering what people would think as they read my own words. Which thinking back on that now was silly considering I had no followers. But low and behold, some people read, and I felt cool.

Fast forward a year and a half, I changed the blog name to the.B.Law, to focus on style and fashion. I lived with my ex at the time. I was really pumped and excited about now changing my focus to style, but was still posting timidly since my ex thought the whole thing was lame. Instead of letting that fuel my fire in an “I’ll show you” kind of way, I let it hinder me. I was really hesitant to create an Instagram account for my blog because of him, but I made one anyways after one of my friends made one for her new blog with no hesitation. She inspired me, so I went for it (shoutout Amanda).

Another year and a half later and I was moving in with my older sister and her family after my ex broke it off. At that point, my blog relationship completely changed. I IMMERSED myself in it. I was planning, writing, and posting three times a week, planning and posting style pics almost every day on Instagram, and going out every weekend to create content. I loved Sundays because that was the day I would sit down with my phone, laptop, and planner and create my content calendar for the next week. This time was really enjoyable for me, I needed it. But it wasn’t until almost a year later that I realized I was using my blog as a crutch to cope with feeling broken. Which I wouldn’t necessarily say was a bad thing, but could have been if I would have kept it up longer than was needed. It was both a healing mechanism and a distraction.

Next, a year later (maybe? getting confused on the time), I was still living with my sister (but in their new house), and getting closer to one of my younger sisters. I was single and her boyfriend worked every weekend, so we started going line dancing. We started attending line dance lessons at our favorite bar a few times a week. These activities left me little time to blog, but I felt okay with that since I was having so much fun. But when I would sit down to blog, I again felt timid. This new circle of friends were not into the whole blog scene, which was fine, but I let it affect my decisions to blog. I didn’t want to appear lame that I had a blog that wasn’t big and wanted to build a following on Instagram. I was older than all of them and really let it get to my head. So I just didn’t blog much. Now were these their actual feelings towards blogging? I don’t know because I never felt confident enough to just do it and that is on me.

Second to last chapter in this story… another year or so later, and I have a new boyfriend. If you have been following then you know who he is. Preston, aka – Mr. Montana, and I start dating and get this… he LIKES that I write and even finds it ATTRACTIVE. Um what?! But now, flash forward to today, he has been back in CA for a year, and I still have not been blogging, mostly because we were and are always doing things on the weekends.

This past weekend I read the new launch of Indy Blue’s blog (the young 23 year old internet queen who inspires me), and was of course inspired after reading her latest post. I want to come back to this space I created because I WANT TO. Not because I feel like I should, or come back timidly because of who I am with or who I am hanging out with. I want to write freely about what I want whether that be a style post, a sappy in my feelings post, or just about something I think is fun. I created this blog for me, and I so often forget that. Not to be rude, but this blog isn’t about what you, my readers want, it is about what I want, and if that happens to interest you then great, pull up a chair. If not, you don’t have to read.

For so long, I have not been posting for me, letting others unknowingly dictate my presence in something I created.

I want to get back to a good place with my blog. The.B.Law is my creation and has been here for me through many different stages in my life over the past seven years. Now that I am stable (LOL), it’s time for me to make this platform stable, but with no pressure. As much as I love a planner, which I just bought a new super cute one, I am going to try and aim for a posting goal, rather than a posting deadline. I always feel like Friday is a good day for posting a blog, but if I miss a Friday, it is okay. As for what I might post about, who knows! Could be anything, but you can rest assured that whatever I post, will mean something to me. For so long, I have not been posting for me, letting others unknowingly dictate my presence in something I created. There is no fault on them, just lessons to learn for me. But now it is time.

So if you have followed along this far, thank you, and I hope you will continue to do so. Don’t be shy of the comments box, if you have ever felt the same feel free to share. We are all navigating this era of the world. The internet instantly connects us all, but is hurting real connections. Knowing you’re not alone in your experiences sure can make a difference.

Until my next post, talk to you soon.

xoxo – Britt

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lifestyle, the.B.Law

Real Talk – Fear #1

Fears are something everyone has, and I think it is safe to say that everyone has more than one fear. None of this fake “Four only has four fears” Divergent nonsense, although I do love that book series, but it is only a story! Everyone has fears and I am no different. It is funny to think of fears as an adult rather than as a kid. As a child I think we usually associated fear with literal scary things like monsters and being frightened… and spiders… still a very relevant fear. But as an adult, we have different fears that have developed, fears that children may not understand why they would be scary.

Today I am just talking about one of my fears. It seems like something silly but I know I am not alone in it, or at least I hope not. I fear doing things alone. Not things like grocery shop, get food, and every day things, but like going to events or places I have never been before type of things. For example, last year Nordstrom hosted these Style Tips and Sips nights at some of their stores. I thought that sounded fun, and it was free, so I signed up. As the night approached I already felt anxious about it. The night of the event I drove to Nordstrom which was all of maybe 2 miles from my place and sat in the parking lot talking on the phone with my sister. I was telling her how I was trying to think of any excuse not to go and she said she knew I would but was happy I was there. Finally I walked in to where the little meeting was supposed to be held and saw no one! I started to panic. I think that is one thing that invokes this fear the most, I hate looking lost or like I do not know what I am doing. Finally a super cute girl in a super cute outfit walked up and asked if I was there for the Style Tips and Sips and said they decided to change to a better location and showed me the way. I went in the room and was the first one there. As time went on it turned out I was the only one who showed that night so I got a little one on two style session with the girl who saved me, Taylor, and one of the beauty girls Lizia (I probably totally spelled that wrong, sorry babe!). It turned out to be so fun and ended with us girls chit-chatting and following each other on Instagram. Taylor is now someone I constantly see and interact with on Insta. Something I was afraid to go to, turned into a new little friendship, I was so happy I went.

So now the question, why am I so afraid of things like that?! I don’t even know if I know the right answer. I think it boils down to caring what others think. As I said earlier, I hate looking like I don’t know what I am doing or looking lost. But why?! Why do I lack the confidence to just do something and if I do it wrong who cares? It is a flaw that can really be crippling, but I am actively trying to work on it. I can’t remember exactly when we said it, but Tabitha (my sister) and I were giving each other a pep talk when we were trying to take photos and were afraid of looking lame, and we just said let’s do it! Do scary things! Since then, whenever I want to try something scary (to me) I just repeat that phrase in my head, do scary things. Every single time I do a scary thing, I come out so happy that I did it. Knowing this, has given me more confidence to do more. Well I still feel scared, but I can convince myself faster to just do it.

At church on Sunday, something was said that really stuck with me, “How much more of an adventure would life be, if we didn’t have to feel like we had to have it all together?” I will probably talk about this phrase again, but wow! If I didn’t care so much what others would think, then I probably wouldn’t have this fear of doing things alone and looking “silly”. Why do we need to have it all together when we only need to care about what God thinks? And if we are doing everything to serve and live by Him then we should know we are doing things right, amiright?! How much am I missing out on because I am scared? Probably a whole lot. I am not saying that boom I addressed this issue to the public, now I can be free from my fear. No, this is going to take some work and has been taking some work. Fear, no matter what it is for, imprisons you. It is not something that will go away, but I want to be able to manage it, acknowledge that it is there, and choose to move past it. Disclaimer, I think fear for real scary things is a safe thing… like jumping off a bridge, doing something illegal, or doing something you know is dangerous and you shouldn’t do. That little voice saying hey this is scary and you can get hurt or die, yes, listen to that little guy, but fear that makes you say no to life, let’s try to ignore him.

Does anyone share this little yet big fear with me? I would love to hear about it to know I am not alone here. Let’s overcome it together, say it with me DO SCARY THINGS! (the little voice in my head is saying SAFE SCARY THINGS! hahah, yes I am Chucky from the Rugrats)… more fears to come, I think it is helping to talk about it.

Happy Wednesday!

Shop the look: Tank | Shorts | Belt | Shoes | Heart Sunnies | Purse

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lifestyle, the.B.Law

Thoughts on Braces

I have had my braces for a month and a half now. Only sixteen and a half more months, but who is counting… When I got my braces I had all of these negative thoughts. I was so uncomfortable in them, they were and all I could feel, my lips hurt, and obviously my teeth were aching (and still do most days). They felt so prominent under my lips that I felt that was all people could see when they looked at me. From the feel of them I felt like I had crazy dinosaur teeth or something (I know I am weird). All I was thinking was that I looked like I was in junior high and how was I ever going to get a date? Who was going to want to go out with a brace face? I know, I was being so dramatic but that is how I felt. When I would inspect them in the mirror I would see they were not even half as obvious as they were in my head. I even had some people talking to me and then half way through say wow they didn’t even notice I had braces, and that was that. Like no big deal at all. I have been working on being chill about them. A lot of people had braces and I know a lot of adults get braces so I need to stop being so self conscious about them. I know the end result is going to be amazing.

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Another thing about braces kind of made me laugh. I have had like three or four people ask me why I even got braces because my teeth were not bad before. I would say are you kidding?! Then proceed to point out all of the spots I was unhappy with, to which they would tell me I was crazy. I guess we really are way more critical of ourselves than others. We are definitely our own worst enemy sometimes. It felt nice to hear that people didn’t see my before teeth as bad because I have always been so self conscious about them.

They have for sure been a growing experience and I am getting used to them. Although, pretty much everyone told me when you get them tightened they only hurt again for like a day. Well I had my first tightening two weeks ago AND THEY HURT FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK AFTER. Eating has been a serious challenge. I do not like how it feels to eat with them and I am terrified to even talk or smile after I eat so I am always running to the bathroom to brush them. Now I can say that is my biggest fear if I ever go on a date, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT? I guess I will figure that out if I ever even go on a date haha. I will keep you updated. Until then I will be working on not feeling like a nerd.

Braces 2

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lifestyle, Style, the.B.Law

Shoe Obsessed

Shoes are a very important aspect of a wardrobe. They are the thing that you will wear again and again through different outfits. I have a slight shoe problem, I have so many, but I know I am not alone in this addiction. My real issue is not the shoes but rather the fact that I do not have enough room for my shoes (no denial here right?!). The last pair I bought I literally had to get rid of an old pair just so my new pair would have a spot in my closet. I have all sorts from sneakers, to flats, to heels, boots, and booties. I think my obsession has gotten worse the last few months since I actually wear heels to work almost every day now. Why are shoes so important though?

Shoes play a very important role in your style, they can make or break an outfit. Often times they may even be the star of your outfit, the key factor that ties it together or sets your look apart. Personal style is a great way to express yourself and that goes all the way down to what you put on your feet. I think you can tell a lot about someone by their choice of shoes. Are they confident, outgoing, colorful, trying too hard, real or a fake? My shoe obsession does not end with my own feet, everyone I meet I look at their shoes. I even look at strangers’ shoes, it is just something that I do, it interests me. I have even used it on multiple occasions as a conversation starter.

I love this quote I came across today:

Shoes transform your body language and attitude. They lift you physically and emotionally – Christian Louboutin

He is so right. There is a certain feeling you get when you put on that new pair of shoes. You are excited to wear them and excited to be seen in them. You walk better in them, have more pep in your step. You get a sudden burst of confidence and your attitude is that like your new shoes, you too are new. I can relate to that, I love that new shoe feeling, just look at my closet!

Is anyone else with me on this?!

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Style

Heels All Day

I bought these super cute heels by Steve Madden off of 6PM.com forever ago. Want to see how long ago? Let me check……. this long ago, I wrote this post when I got them, Tragic Shopping, on April 29, 2015! That was five months ago! These poor babies have been stuck in a dusty old box. That ended today! I had been waiting for the perfect time to wear them, finally I just decided I was going to wear them to work. After all, they are work appropriate, and not to mention fun! I said recently in my First Day of Fall post that I hoped wearing my black heels (also from my Tragic Shopping post) with the shorter, thick heel could be my transition into wearing heels to work, I’ve always wanted to do that, I know I am silly. I think it is working though!

Well to the point, I paired my tan suede and snake skin pumps with dark cuffed skinny jeans, a plain high neck gray tank, a blush blazer, and a gold statement necklace. So easy, yet so put together. It was a casual way to wear the heels without looking too dressed up. I did predictably get the look of why are you wearing heels, and also asked why I wear them when I am already tall. Yes I am tall and have always been slightly self conscious about it, but I am trying to own it now. If I want to wear heels then I will and pretend I am just a model and won’t care what everyone else thinks! Easier said than done, but I am practicing! Check it out!

Heels All Day

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PS- If you hadn’t guessed by the title, I wore these heels ALL DAY! Yeah I am pretty proud of myself.

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