Real Talk – Fear #1

Fears are something everyone has, and I think it is safe to say that everyone has more than one fear. None of this fake “Four only has four fears” Divergent nonsense, although I do love that book series, but it is only a story! Everyone has fears and I am no different. It is funny to think of fears as an adult rather than as a kid. As a child I think we usually associated fear with literal scary things like monsters and being frightened… and spiders… still a very relevant fear. But as an adult, we have different fears that have developed, fears that children may not understand why they would be scary.

Today I am just talking about one of my fears. It seems like something silly but I know I am not alone in it, or at least I hope not. I fear doing things alone. Not things like grocery shop, get food, and every day things, but like going to events or places I have never been before type of things. For example, last year Nordstrom hosted these Style Tips and Sips nights at some of their stores. I thought that sounded fun, and it was free, so I signed up. As the night approached I already felt anxious about it. The night of the event I drove to Nordstrom which was all of maybe 2 miles from my place and sat in the parking lot talking on the phone with my sister. I was telling her how I was trying to think of any excuse not to go and she said she knew I would but was happy I was there. Finally I walked in to where the little meeting was supposed to be held and saw no one! I started to panic. I think that is one thing that invokes this fear the most, I hate looking lost or like I do not know what I am doing. Finally a super cute girl in a super cute outfit walked up and asked if I was there for the Style Tips and Sips and said they decided to change to a better location and showed me the way. I went in the room and was the first one there. As time went on it turned out I was the only one who showed that night so I got a little one on two style session with the girl who saved me, Taylor, and one of the beauty girls Lizia (I probably totally spelled that wrong, sorry babe!). It turned out to be so fun and ended with us girls chit-chatting and following each other on Instagram. Taylor is now someone I constantly see and interact with on Insta. Something I was afraid to go to, turned into a new little friendship, I was so happy I went.

So now the question, why am I so afraid of things like that?! I don’t even know if I know the right answer. I think it boils down to caring what others think. As I said earlier, I hate looking like I don’t know what I am doing or looking lost. But why?! Why do I lack the confidence to just do something and if I do it wrong who cares? It is a flaw that can really be crippling, but I am actively trying to work on it. I can’t remember exactly when we said it, but Tabitha (my sister) and I were giving each other a pep talk when we were trying to take photos and were afraid of looking lame, and we just said let’s do it! Do scary things! Since then, whenever I want to try something scary (to me) I just repeat that phrase in my head, do scary things. Every single time I do a scary thing, I come out so happy that I did it. Knowing this, has given me more confidence to do more. Well I still feel scared, but I can convince myself faster to just do it.

At church on Sunday, something was said that really stuck with me, “How much more of an adventure would life be, if we didn’t have to feel like we had to have it all together?” I will probably talk about this phrase again, but wow! If I didn’t care so much what others would think, then I probably wouldn’t have this fear of doing things alone and looking “silly”. Why do we need to have it all together when we only need to care about what God thinks? And if we are doing everything to serve and live by Him then we should know we are doing things right, amiright?! How much am I missing out on because I am scared? Probably a whole lot. I am not saying that boom I addressed this issue to the public, now I can be free from my fear. No, this is going to take some work and has been taking some work. Fear, no matter what it is for, imprisons you. It is not something that will go away, but I want to be able to manage it, acknowledge that it is there, and choose to move past it. Disclaimer, I think fear for real scary things is a safe thing… like jumping off a bridge, doing something illegal, or doing something you know is dangerous and you shouldn’t do. That little voice saying hey this is scary and you can get hurt or die, yes, listen to that little guy, but fear that makes you say no to life, let’s try to ignore him.

Does anyone share this little yet big fear with me? I would love to hear about it to know I am not alone here. Let’s overcome it together, say it with me DO SCARY THINGS! (the little voice in my head is saying SAFE SCARY THINGS! hahah, yes I am Chucky from the Rugrats)… more fears to come, I think it is helping to talk about it.

Happy Wednesday!

Shop the look: Tank | Shorts | Belt | Shoes | Heart Sunnies | Purse

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Thoughts on Braces

I have had my braces for a month and a half now. Only sixteen and a half more months, but who is counting… When I got my braces I had all of these negative thoughts. I was so uncomfortable in them, they were and all I could feel, my lips hurt, and obviously my teeth were aching (and still do most days). They felt so prominent under my lips that I felt that was all people could see when they looked at me. From the feel of them I felt like I had crazy dinosaur teeth or something (I know I am weird). All I was thinking was that I looked like I was in junior high and how was I ever going to get a date? Who was going to want to go out with a brace face? I know, I was being so dramatic but that is how I felt. When I would inspect them in the mirror I would see they were not even half as obvious as they were in my head. I even had some people talking to me and then half way through say wow they didn’t even notice I had braces, and that was that. Like no big deal at all. I have been working on being chill about them. A lot of people had braces and I know a lot of adults get braces so I need to stop being so self conscious about them. I know the end result is going to be amazing.

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Another thing about braces kind of made me laugh. I have had like three or four people ask me why I even got braces because my teeth were not bad before. I would say are you kidding?! Then proceed to point out all of the spots I was unhappy with, to which they would tell me I was crazy. I guess we really are way more critical of ourselves than others. We are definitely our own worst enemy sometimes. It felt nice to hear that people didn’t see my before teeth as bad because I have always been so self conscious about them.

They have for sure been a growing experience and I am getting used to them. Although, pretty much everyone told me when you get them tightened they only hurt again for like a day. Well I had my first tightening two weeks ago AND THEY HURT FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK AFTER. Eating has been a serious challenge. I do not like how it feels to eat with them and I am terrified to even talk or smile after I eat so I am always running to the bathroom to brush them. Now I can say that is my biggest fear if I ever go on a date, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT? I guess I will figure that out if I ever even go on a date haha. I will keep you updated. Until then I will be working on not feeling like a nerd.

Braces 2

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Shoe Obsessed

Shoes are a very important aspect of a wardrobe. They are the thing that you will wear again and again through different outfits. I have a slight shoe problem, I have so many, but I know I am not alone in this addiction. My real issue is not the shoes but rather the fact that I do not have enough room for my shoes (no denial here right?!). The last pair I bought I literally had to get rid of an old pair just so my new pair would have a spot in my closet. I have all sorts from sneakers, to flats, to heels, boots, and booties. I think my obsession has gotten worse the last few months since I actually wear heels to work almost every day now. Why are shoes so important though?

Shoes play a very important role in your style, they can make or break an outfit. Often times they may even be the star of your outfit, the key factor that ties it together or sets your look apart. Personal style is a great way to express yourself and that goes all the way down to what you put on your feet. I think you can tell a lot about someone by their choice of shoes. Are they confident, outgoing, colorful, trying too hard, real or a fake? My shoe obsession does not end with my own feet, everyone I meet I look at their shoes. I even look at strangers’ shoes, it is just something that I do, it interests me. I have even used it on multiple occasions as a conversation starter.

I love this quote I came across today:

Shoes transform your body language and attitude. They lift you physically and emotionally – Christian Louboutin

He is so right. There is a certain feeling you get when you put on that new pair of shoes. You are excited to wear them and excited to be seen in them. You walk better in them, have more pep in your step. You get a sudden burst of confidence and your attitude is that like your new shoes, you too are new. I can relate to that, I love that new shoe feeling, just look at my closet!

Is anyone else with me on this?!

Heels All Day

I bought these super cute heels by Steve Madden off of 6PM.com forever ago. Want to see how long ago? Let me check……. this long ago, I wrote this post when I got them, Tragic Shopping, on April 29, 2015! That was five months ago! These poor babies have been stuck in a dusty old box. That ended today! I had been waiting for the perfect time to wear them, finally I just decided I was going to wear them to work. After all, they are work appropriate, and not to mention fun! I said recently in my First Day of Fall post that I hoped wearing my black heels (also from my Tragic Shopping post) with the shorter, thick heel could be my transition into wearing heels to work, I’ve always wanted to do that, I know I am silly. I think it is working though!

Well to the point, I paired my tan suede and snake skin pumps with dark cuffed skinny jeans, a plain high neck gray tank, a blush blazer, and a gold statement necklace. So easy, yet so put together. It was a casual way to wear the heels without looking too dressed up. I did predictably get the look of why are you wearing heels, and also asked why I wear them when I am already tall. Yes I am tall and have always been slightly self conscious about it, but I am trying to own it now. If I want to wear heels then I will and pretend I am just a model and won’t care what everyone else thinks! Easier said than done, but I am practicing! Check it out!

Heels All Day

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PS- If you hadn’t guessed by the title, I wore these heels ALL DAY! Yeah I am pretty proud of myself.