Tag Archives: dating

dating, lifestyle, the.B.Law

Then & Now

I love sitting back and thinking about how current situations came to be. For instance, when you realize that if you wouldn’t have been at that party that particular night, you wouldn’t have met so&so who helped you get your current job, or something like that. You know, those types of situations. Everything always has a way of working out. God always has a plan, even if we don’t know what it is, or think he has forgotten about us.

I can’t help but think about my current situation. Tomorrow, January 23, 2021, marks exactly a year since Preston reached out to me for the first time. Granted I didn’t see his message for ten days, but that is beside the point. One year ago, this Montana man came home to visit his family in California, mind you in over FOUR YEARS he only came down twice, and he and his family happened to go camping when he was down. His sister also happens to be one of my sister’s best friends, and she watches my nephew every week. My sister and her family JUST SO HAPPENED to be invited to this camping trip, where they met this Montana brother. In my sister’s less than sober state, she told Mr. Montana all about me and showed him my Instagram. Come January 23, 2020, Preston was brave and took a shot at asking me out before he went back to Montana. Like I said, ten days passed and I didn’t see his message until he was back in Montana. But it didn’t end there.

As I was giving up, you were stepping up.

As I am sure I have mentioned previously, we slowly started responding to each other’s Instagram stories, which turned into longer conversations, which turned into messaging every day, to texting every day, to Instagram “FaceTiming” because Montana has no service for real FaceTime, to me BUYING A PLANE TICKET TO MONTANA and “meeting” Preston for the first time in the Bozeman, MT airport. Seven months from that day in the airport and we are here. Here as in California. We currently live 14 minutes from each other. In these last seven months we have fallen in love, fallen in love with each other’s families, have been on numerous adventures, and have made plans, and continue to make plans for our future together. Seven months and sometimes I still cannot believe this is real. Does this perfect, handsome, cowboy man ACTUALLY want me? Like STILL? For everyone who told me “when you know, you know,” and I rolled my eyes at you, you were right. I never imagined this could be this easy. I never imagined I would fall for someone in another state, let alone Montana. That is the only reason I messaged him back in the first place, because he was in Montana so nothing could happen. Well just look at this unraveled plan! It is beautiful and makes me excited every day.

Thank you to my sister for having one too many drinks and singing my praises to a guy she didn’t know. She will forever hold credit. As I was giving up, Preston was stepping up, and my life will never be the same. I cannot wait to see what else the future holds for us.

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dating, lifestyle, the.B.Law

Take a Chance On Me, In Person

I submitted this to Popsugar over a year ago and they didn’t publish it, so I might as well not let it go to waste. Read below to see my then and still struggle with the dating apps 🙃

(I actually have two others that haven’t been published, I am on a good streak with them… 0 published and 3 declined but who is counting? WE WILL NOT GIVE UP! But I will post the other two on here as well)

PS – I hope the title of this gets “Take a Chance on Me” by ABBA stuck in your head for three days. That is my gift to you if you get nothing else from this story. Okay now read:

Perhaps I have run out of eligible men that I already know that I would consider dating.

Take a Chance On Me, In Person – 10/30/18

I have had to come to a kind of surprising and possibly scary realization that never really mattered much until recently, where I have found myself 28 and single. The realization: I have never been on a real date. Now let me explain what I mean when I use the term “real date”. I have never been on a date with a guy that I did not previously know or was not already talking to. For example, I was in three long term relationships back to back. The first was a four and half year relationship which started in high school and ended in the middle of college. Our first date was on Valentine’s Day. He surprised me when I got off work and told me what restaurant we were going to, but that I had to drive because he was fifteen and did not have a license yet. It was romantic and innocent in the typical high school date fashion. My second long term boyfriend lasted around two years. Although I was in college, we knew each other from high school and used to help each other sneak into Spanish II late and undetected. Our first date was at Disneyland. My third and most recent long term relationship lasted just shy of four years. We were both two years out of college but kind of knew each other in college. Our first date was at Lazy Dog after weeks of texting. See the trend here?

I now find myself single and with no prospects. Perhaps I have run out of eligible men that I already know that I would consider dating. That leaves me with the great unknown dating world and to be honest, it terrifies me. I have so many questions and nerves. Where do you start? Where is a good place to meet good guys? How do you even talk to guys once you pry them out of their hiding spots? How do you know if they are psychos or not? My fears are never ending. I have noticed a pattern though. I have been single for 9 months now, so friends are starting to get curious if I am dating or ready to date yet. Almost every single one of them have asked, “Are you on the dating apps?” You know, all the free ones like Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, Coffee Meets Bagel, the list goes on and on. Even acquaintances and strangers, that is the first thing they ask when I say I am not seeing anyone. I immediately tell them, “No I am not online dating and I do not want to be part of that,” but now I am the curious one. Not curious to be on the apps, but whether or not the dating apps are the new norm for dating in today’s world?

I am starting to question if I have missed the entire era of good old fashion dating where you meet someone in person, feel a spark or some sort of interest, and the guy asks you out to dinner or drinks. Is this something that will only ever be remembered in movies and in tales of our parents telling us how it used to be in their day before evil technology took over the world? I have this burning urge to resist this new way, yet I am doing nothing to prove myself right. I keep telling myself that I want to give myself a chance on finding a date on my own before resulting to the dating apps. It is almost as if I have convinced myself that the apps are for giving up. They seem like the easy way out, letting them all come to you and weeding through the bad one liners.

What gets me the most confused is that in my head I have built up how against the dating apps I am, yet everyone who asks me if I am on them asks so with such normalcy. I cannot help but wonder if this is just what you do now. Not one friend or stranger that has asked me has done so with sarcastic tones or judgment in their voices. They have asked out of pure curiosity. I am the one pre-judging myself for even uttering or thinking the word “Tinder”. Yet again, I am not going out to try and find a date “the good old fashion way”. Instead I talk about it, make it sound like it could be fun, continue to dis the dating apps, and continue to not go out and meet people. At this rate I am going to die alone from sheer stubbornness all because I do not want to say I met my man online.

I am at a standstill, caught between hypocrisy and acceptance. Is there a right and wrong about the “correct” way to date, or is it more a battle of which is more effective rather than which is right? I know the pros to online dating, like not having enough time to “get out there” calls to me with all of my being, because who has the time to get ready and cast a line out there in anticipation that a good and (hopefully) attractive guy takes the bait? But as soon as I have a hint of wonder to download one of the apps, I think how much of a hypocrite I am being after badmouthing the act. I have come to the conclusion, to settle my mind on both sides, that I need to go out and give it a go at least once, evaluate the experience, and decide from there if I can handle it again, or if I want to take advantage of the apps as a tool and not a defeat. If this is the new norm, and everyone I talk to thinks it is normal to go on the apps, then maybe I am the one who is not normal and needs to get with the times.

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dating, lifestyle, the.B.Law

Little Notes

Do you utilize the notes app on your phone? I use mine constantly, especially when I do not have a pen and paper handy. I am a list maker. I THRIVE on lists. They get me going. So majority of my notes are lists. I also love that on the iPhone, you can invite other contacts and have collaborative notes… which I use for lists. Like Micaela (my sister) and I have a list of adventures we want to take in 2020, or we make packing lists together when we have events to go to.

The thing I am not great at is deleting my old notes. I was literally just scrolling through my notes looking for one in particular that I couldn’t find because I was too distracted by the smorgasbord of notes I have on this sucker. It is a mix of packing lists, Del Taco orders, and Instagram captions. LOOK AT THESE SCREENSHOTS!:

Packing list (from a concert in Sept… why on earth was a curling iron on there WHEN WE WERE DRY CAMPING?)

  • This sh*rt is bananas (an IG caption I was really excited about all because I bought a banana print shirt I have only worn once LOL)
  • MACHO BEEF BURRITO (a list that literally only had macho beef burrito, quesadilla, and soft taco because I was probably getting Del for the family and I apparently don’t have the memory capacity to remember those three items)
  • Britt’s Project X Research (this is slightly embarrassing but you know what?! This party will be off the chizzart!) ((okay I am cringing writing that but also I am here for it, and you better be there for it))
  • Feeling lucky?… (an IG caption I was real proud of FROM APRIL. Why is it still in there? Who knows)
  • Too much booty for one man to handle (I was trying to think of this song for so long, GOD KNOWS WHY, and then I remembered this line and had to write it down so I wouldn’t forget it again. OMG I am my father)
  • Lastly… (currently cringing even harder)… actual NOTES (aka pre written text messages)…. like my “break up” text to the last guy I was dating but we weren’t even official so is it really considered a break up? WHY DO I STILL HAVE THIS AWKWARD ASS NOTE ON MY PHONE?!

If someone scrolled through all of these my life would look like a mixture of Del Taco orders, caption ideas, wannabe emo quotes or thoughts to save for a rainy day, and break up texts / over thinking novel texts to boys who I am not really with. I have three pre-written messages to three different boys! WHO AM I? One was never going to allow himself to like me more than what we were. It was undeniably not a relationship, yet I was in denial that he actually liked me and that message was the straw that broke the camel’s back and brought the whole “ending” crashing down sooner than my delusional state was ready for. One was to a guy that was hinting hard he was into me and for reasons I cannot say, I had a message drafted just in case he didn’t understand the friend zone billboard I was throwing his way (thank God I never had to send that one), and the last was my “breakup text” because I was too much of a chicken to do it in person and also sought validation that a text was fine because we had only been dating about month and a half. MIND YOU let me add that his response, although agreeing that something was missing, ended with, “You are very pretty and have a great personality so I’m sure you’ll find a better match in no no time.” (insert clip from The Emperor’s New Groove): great-personality_emperors-new-grooveThe most basic response! But hey I took it and ran.

Anyways, I have no idea where this post is going. I was just scrolling through all the weird notes and was inspired by my strangeness LOL. Please tell me I am not alone in all of these secret messages stored on my tiny little device. If you have anything remotely similar please do share, this is a safe place ;).

Other than the fact I need to clean up my phone, nothing new to report here. Oh wait here is something, MY DAD TOLD ME YESTERDAY I SHOULD TRY ONLINE DATING. I am dead. This is where I end because he is probably afraid I am actually going to die alone. But more on that later.

Byeeeeee!

PS- like two days after he told me I should do online dating, I got spam mail from Silver Singles Online……. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A SILVER FOX OMG LEAVE ME BE!

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dating, the.B.Law, tragic girls

Chase Me Gosh Darn-It!

**Disclaimer: this post might just be a ramble, but it is the start to a new series of posts. So yeah read on!

I feel like every time I write a new blog I want to start it off like, “Hey! It’s been awhile…”. Obviously it has been awhile, let’s not kid ourselves. I have not been writing so let’s just skip that part and be real haha.

So hi! I know this is supposed to be a style blog or whatever, but I’ve got some feelings and shit. How come even though you want to be effing chased, you allow guys to have it easy and don’t make it hard to chase you? Am I that starved for attention that I am willing to accept in the moment affection that won’t last? AM I JUST STUPID?! I am starting to think that is the issue…

Question: what is more dumb? Being actually stupid and not realizing what the consequences of your actions might be, OR being smart enough to know the consequences and choosing to do that action anyways?

This question came up after choices I made that I most definitely knew the consequences of, but tried to convince myself otherwise (it may have also been the alcohol convincing me otherwise). This story will potentially get shared in time, but regardless, a valid question I am pondering.

Being in the dating world is tough, like more than just trying to actually find a man who will give you the time of day. But once one actually does, you have so many things to decipher. Maybe I just overthink everything, but I have quickly come to realize that I do not know how to date. I do not know the rules, I do not know the games, I do not know how to play it cool, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING.

Don’t get me wrong, I am having fun. Micaela, my sister that you are going to hear much more about, and I go out often and we ALWAYS have a great time. I have met a few people, and maybe one will stick, but it is scary to have hopes about any of it. We say we have hopes of having hopes. I am in this place where it feels like eventually they all choose someone else anyways. So as much fun as we have, it is hard sometimes to be home on a Sunday night after all the fun is over and still feel somewhat alone, but I am working on it.

I am not really sure where this post is going, but I have decided I want to write more about mine and Mic’s adventures and being in the dating realm. The Tragic Girls are essentially back but in a whole new light ;). Get ready for some fun and tragic stories (and lots of code names)!

 

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dating, Style, the.B.Law

Where to Fish?

The topic of “fishing” has been coming up oh so often in my life now. For those of you who have not been following along, fishing is my code for finding an eligible bachelor. My bffff and I started calling it that at the Angel game we went to a couple weeks ago (catch up here). Since then it has been a topic of discussion. On my Instagram story I posted a question, “Where do you find people or where did you find your person?”. That has been my biggest wonder. Obviously I know you need to go out (which I am just so bleh about) but where are good places to go out to? Among the answers I got, the most common answer was online. Come to think of it, everyone I have spoken to about being single, their first question has been “are you on the dating apps?”.

Is this the new societal norm that when one becomes single you instantly make an online profile? Do people from our generation not go out to find someone the good old fashion way? I can’t help but wonder, did I miss out on that way of life?

I was in three long term relationships with no casual dating in between. I have actually never been on a real date. When I say real, I mean a date with someone I didn’t know previously. I have never just met someone and exchanged numbers because we were both interested and then gone on a date. Is this not how it happens anymore?

This is in no offense to anyone who has tried online dating or even who has succeeded at it, but to me personally, I always thought online dating was for when you have given up on trying to find someone on your own by going out into the world. I feel like I shouldn’t even try online dating until I have at least given myself a chance of finding someone on my own, yet everyone else seems it is acceptable to just go straight for dating apps. Are we that unable of finding a match for ourselves?

Again, this is in no offense to anyone on the apps, this is my personal opinion. There is nothing wrong with finding a date online, just in my personal opinion, I would like to try it on my own first. Mind you, I never go out so this process is going swimmingly. But I am finally in the mindset where I want to go out, so if you have any REAL suggestions of good places to go, let me know.

This doesn’t mean I might not be on the apps in the future, I just want to bet on myself and give myself a try. I know I am not a great talker. I feel so awkward and talk fast when I am nervous. I need to challenge myself and meet someone in person.  Starting off meeting someone via an online chat is not going to help the situation. In church they said there are the most connections today than ever before, but there is the least amount of connectedness than ever before. We connect online but do not know how to actually be connected. I think we need to change this!

I hope my next fishing post will be about me getting out there. My bffff said she will be my wing woman so we just need to make some plans, are you ready bfff?!

I think in realty I am just really excited to pick out an outfit for a date LOL! I bought a super cute top from the Nordstrom Anniversary sale that I thought would be cute for a date that I don’t have yet. I wore this other outfit below last night and I woke up to a text from my bffff saying it was cute and asked if I went fishing. At first I thought she literally meant fishing with a pole and all HAHA! But come to think of it, this would make a cute casual date outfit. Items linked below!

Top (this top is almost sold out so here are a couple similar options: one and two | Jeans | Shoes | Necklace

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Style, Style Panel, the.B.Law

Lunch Date Look!

I have multiple outfits that I love for going on dates, but I really love dressing for lunch dates. One of my current favorite looks for a lunch date includes this red off the shoulder top I bought from Nectar Clothing (current alternative linked) in the Claremont Village. It is perfect for lunch because you can dress it up or down. Here I paired it with white shorts from Old Navy, and my indigo rd. wedges from Macy’s. Another option could be brown sandals in case you don’t want to look too overdressed. This top could also be paired with blue jean shorts, regular pants, boyfriend jeans, or even white jeans. If you are doing normal blue jeans, you can also try pairing the top with white sandals. I have worn this top with boyfriend jeans, and my wedges out to a dinner date with a friend and it was so perfect for the occasion! Even though this specific top is from last year, this simple look can be easily recreated with most off the shoulder tops, especially since they are still very popular this year. Aside from it being a great date outfit, it is a great spring and summer outfit in general whether on a date, out with the girls, or at a family gathering!

Xo- C

 

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Style, Style Panel, the.B.Law

Introducing the.B.Law Style Panel: Cherlynn!

The fourth member of the.B.Law Style Panel is Cherlynn! We have been best friends for 17 years now. We met in the street because my dad moved onto hers when I was in 4th grade. Although we never went to the same school we always stayed in touch and we finally lived in the same city in high school. Then the best thing happened, we went to the same college, the University of La Verne! It was fate. What is so unique about our friendship is she is actually my older sister’s best friend too. Cher is even close to our younger sister. We call ourselves the “Quadpod” and text in a group message everyday. She is literally like a sister and has seen us all through the best and worst times.  


Anyways, Cherlynn will be my expert on dressing to work with kids and staying stylish AND comfy doing so. She will also be talking about dressing for dates, especially when it’s a brand new date! I’m excited for what she has to share! Check out her fun facts below:

  • Describe your personal style in 3-5 words: In work- professional, outside of work- simple and casual
  • Your go to outfit/piece of clothing: Boyfriend pants 
  • Favorite place to shop: Target
  • Favorite shoe brand: Depends on the shoe- Nike, Rainbows, Converse, and heels I don’t care as long as they are comfy! 
  • Favorite current trend: Anything with flowers
  • Style preference: Casual or dressy, it really depends 
  • Where do you get most of your style inspiration: Pinterest or Instagram
  • One piece of makeup you cannot live without: Lancôme foundation
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