Tragic events, Tragic Shorts

Tragic Closet

So after moving all of my stuff officially into my boyfriend’s apartment, and after getting rid of so many clothes, I still do not have enough room in my half of the closet. Yes I said it, MY HALF. I have to SHARE! Which I thought would be fine since his closet is literally the entire wall. It is a big closet, my half is even bigger than what I had at my apartment. For some reason though, my clothes are not fitting. The some reason as in not being because I have too many clothes, for some other reason that I don’t know. This could be because I have pretty much ALL of my laundry done, which is rare. This is the reason I never have ALL of my laundry done, because I do not have a big enough closet to hold ALL of my clothes! There wasn’t any room for me to take my dresser with me so I figured something else out instead. In the bathroom behind the door to the part that just has the sink, is the linen closet. My boyfriend has lived here for a year and has never put anything in it, probably because it is usually hidden behind the door. I took full advantage of this and made it my “dresser”. All of my clothes that can be folded like jeans, shorts, t-shirts, workout clothes, etc., are now folded inside the linen closet. Along with four baskets for undies, socks, bras, and bathing suits. I’m just being resourceful here and trying to not give my boyfriend a heart attach from all the clothes I have. What’s next, sweaters in my oven like Carrie Bradshaw?! Tragic. 

  

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Tragic events, Tragic Shorts

That Darn Christmas Tree

I was about to leave the apartment to take stuff to my car and make a Target run, when I thought about leaving a light on. I went to turn the light over the stove on which apparently doesn’t work now. So I just made a mental note to turn the light on by the door to make sure I don’t trip over any of our stuff when I walk back in. As I walked to the door in the dark with my hands full of bags and a to-go cup of coffee, while thinking about not tripping when I get back home, I hit the Christmas tree box, AGAIN as I mentioned the first time in my last post Packing is Pitiful. I tried to recover which resulted in me falling to my knees on top of the box and completely skinning my shins, and now I have two matching bumps and bruises and I have to wear a dress tomorrow… great. Just another day at Tragic Girl Headquarters. Ouch. 

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Tragic Shorts

Wild Friday Night

I’m spending my Friday night packing, painting my nails while watching Sex and the City 1, and currently kicking some kid’s butt at Harry Potter on the Quiz Up app. Don’t bother me after 10:30 PM, I’ll be in bed already. I know, I know, I’m a wild one. If you want a challenge play me on Quiz Up… Be there or be square… Or maybe be there and be a square because only squares spend their Friday nights like I do. 

  

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Tragic events, Tragic Shorts

Bambi in Heels 

Now that I’m over the embarrassment of it, I can share my tragicness from the wedding I went to on Saturday. I shared my outfit I wore there earlier today in my post PINsperation. Anyways, we finally made it to this wedding, but we were not told that it was down a dirt road. At the end of this dirt road was the venue. We had to park near the end of the drive, and this drive was not paved either. We got out of the car, fixed our dresses, and started walking. We knew we looked good. This walk was like an obstacle course though. There was gravel, rocks, and dirt every where. I was walking slow and making it. I had to make it, I was looking good and feeling confident. Then our friends drove by and popped their heads out the window to say hi. I looked up to say hi and lost my concentration. Just like that I stumbled, and when I tried to recover I stumbled even harder and almost twisted my ankle and went down. All of my friends were watching, it was terrible. I looked like a baby deer! I can laugh about it now, typical me, typical tragic girl. I laugh when people tell me I’m so poised and put together, when really I stumble in heels sober. 

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Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Wine & Relationships

My roomie and I were cleaning out our fridge tonight and we had a lot to throw away. Now our fridge matches our wallets…EMPTY! Anyways I was pulling the stuff out and she was holding the trash bag. 

Me: Is this trash?

Roomie: Yep. 

Me: What’s the date on this? Ugh bad. Um, what’s that?

Roomie: I don’t even know just toss it. 

Me: How about this wine? Wine goes bad. 

Roomie: Yep, just like relationships. 

I sat there laughing on the floor because she said it in such a matter of fact voice. I get some of the best lines from her!

So remember, wine goes bad, just like relationships. 

If that’s not positive thinking then I don’t know what is. 

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Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Dad’s Life Lessons #1

In honor of my Dad’s birthday today, I want to share one of his life lessons he shared with my sisters and I this past Sunday. He was talking about my niece to my older sister and about when we all have kids and when they want pets.

This is what he told us: “Girls just always remember, anything that lives, poops.”

Thanks Dad. We will be sure to remember that.

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Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Biker Gang

This morning I was on my way to get my hair done and I was running late. Of course when you’re running late you’re also running out of gas. When the bottom line of my gas gauge starts blinking then that’s bad, like I think maybe ten miles left bad. I was driving fast and trying to get to my appointment on time, so burning more gas. I was a few exits away when my line started blinking! If I could just make it to my exit there was a gas station right above it. 

Okay there it is I’m going to make it. I get off, make my left turn, and get to the corner by the gas station. By this time I’m guessing I have maybe two miles left. Woo that was close. I turn left, then get in the turn lane for the gas station. I am behind a car who is also waiting, but we can’t turn. Why you ask? Because of the huge line of spandex wearing bicyclists coming down the street! It never ended! Are you kidding me? I’m going to sit here and run out of gas right in front of a gas station because a spandex biker gang won’t get out of my way!

Finally there was a break in the line and I went for it! So close but I did not run out of gas. SAFE! 

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Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- The Jumper

I’m sitting here in my living room, minding my own business and watching the new episode of Pretty Little Liars, which we all know is a very important episode since we are one episode away form the big A reveal! Anyways, I’m trying to watch when I see another cricket behind the TV! It’s been ridiculous how many crickets we have had in our apartment.  First we thought it was just good luck but now it’s an issue. We have had so many that we labled a red solo cup the “Cricket Catcher.” My Roomie and I have gotten pretty good at catching them with our cup and a piece of mail and then throwing them outside. This one was tricky though. I went in for the catch and it jumped, I screamed, threw the cup and ran, and now I can’t find it. So I am posted on the couch, in the middle with my feet up. An hour later and still no cricket… I’m never getting off this couch. 



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Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Instagram or Insta-Stalker?

Even if you won’t admit it, all of us girls stalk. It’s what we do. We have investigating urges that can only be satisfied by a minimum of 32 week old Instagram stalking. We can’t help it, we stalk and judge.

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Something catches our interest, like a girl who liked or commented on your mans photo, and the next thing you know you are 25 weeks deep and know who her best friends are, what she got for Christmas, and that her sister had an amazing wedding venue. In other cases, like myself last night, something else catches your interest like a girl in a bathing suit, and you look at it so you can feel pitiful about why your body doesn’t look like that yet. I just did my 5 minute ab app. Why aren’t I skinny yet? Yes this was me last night. While I should have been sleeping, I went on the discover page of Instagram and ended up stalking Miss Pennsylvania, then hated myself for not being as pretty as her.

Hi. My name is Brittany, and I am a Psycho Girl.
HI BRITTANY! Responded my fellow psychos from Psycho Girls Anonymous.

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