Tag Archives: lifestyle

life, lifestyle, Motherhood, New Year

Hello 2025

It is that time of year again where I write my blog post about all of my New Year’s goals and acknowledge that it has been forever since I have been on here and blah blah blah.

Well, it is a new year, it has been a long time since I have written, and it is okay. I am actually proud that last year I wrote six blogs, it was definitely an improvement from the year prior. Of course I have a goal to post more this year, I want to publish a blog once a month (at the very least). I think that is doable. The hold back I have had with posting I think, is that my content is changing so much. I have been in a shift, really for the last few years, where my blog and I are evolving. We started off silly and tragic, then shifted fully into style and fashion, now… we have been trying to figure it out. So much has happened over the last four and a half years, both good and bad, but priorities and just life itself has changed. I met the love of my life, married him, and had the best baby boy ever (who is now a one year old toddler and is absolutely everywhere).

I still love style and fashion, but to be honest, I have let it slide… A LOT. It is something I want to get back into this year, mostly for the reason that I want to feel good about myself. I have written time and time again, that feeling good in an outfit gives you such a sense of confidence, and I want that back. I need that back. So I am making changes this year.

The last two years I have had the same New Year’s resolution: Change My Entire Outlook On Life (see the 2023 post here and the 2024 post here). How naive of me to think my entire life could change in a year, and even after adding a bonus second year. My sister and I talked IN DEPTH about changing our entire lives, and we still discuss it today. We came to the conclusion that year one was a “prep” year. Although things did not LOOK different with us, we felt different, our minds were different and changing. Year two was when I thought it would all be put into action, but I am still not there yet. You always hear change doesn’t happen over night. I KNOW this, but here we are on year three and still working towards our goal.

I think part of the delay (for lack of a better word) is that along my way on this journey, I am figuring out exactly what my goal(s) in life is and fine tuning it. It is funny how one of my goals last year, and is again this year, is to slow down, and then realizing all of this change is SLOW. I guess it all goes together and is a lesson to be learned.

This past year, and mostly the last few months, I have been able to envision CLEARLY what I want for my life and my family’s lives, and it makes me so excited. I day dream about it all the time and it is like watching a preview to a movie I really want to see. My husband and I want to move. We do not want to stay in California. He never has (and has left once before), I don’t know if I ever cared too much about moving. I think I thought about it more when my sister moved out of state, but even then I had no plans. But when I met my husband for the first time in Montana, my eyes were opened. I still don’t think I have ever seen a more beautiful place. A place that just gives you feelings. I just felt such a sense of peace out in the open land, away from a big city, with fresh air and mountains. I want that. I want to feel like that every day. It took me a while to admit that. I thought about it A LOT to myself, but was afraid what it would mean to say it out loud. What actions it would spark. I have never moved away like that. The farthest I have lived is Orange County. But I am ready, and not just ready, EXCITED and CRAVING. I want it. I want the change. I want a new place for my son to explore (not that he has explored a lot here, he has only been walking since November, but I want him to grow up somewhere else).

So what do my husband and I envision for us? We want land, we want to build a house and a shop (maybe even together), and we want simple. I want our dogs to have room to run, I want goats and chickens, he wants horses and cows, I am determined to add in a donkey and alpaca somehow 😆. I just want the simple, slow life where we spend our days and nights together and exploring. I want my son and future children to play outside and not care about screens. I want to have to drag them inside when it is time for dinner. I want summer dinners outside under beautiful sunsets, and family time around a fire pit under the stars. I want a cozy house when it is winter, with a wood burning fire place and piles of warm blankets. I want both of our families to come camp on our property and just let the cousins run wild and all be together. I dream of all of this. I yearn for it. The want is clawing at me in a motivating way.

I know there is a trend of this lifestyle. It can be seen all over social media. But I have made it a point to start following all of those accounts that have the lifestyle I dream about, and I watch their posts and stories not in comparison, but as inspiration. It is like a live vision board that constantly gets updated with new things.

What are my goals for this year then?

  • Work towards our family vision, which is definitely a work in progress and will take some time
  • I want to continue to slow down. I have learned it is a practice, you cannot just decide to slow down, especially when you have been a go-go-go girl all of your life like me
    • Not only do I want to slow down for myself, but I want to slow down for my son. I do not want him to have a rushed and stressed mentality like I have and grew up with
  • Along with slowing down, I want to be more intentional with my time. This has a lot of factors:
    • I don’t want to waste my time on useless things, like scrolling social media endlessly. I want to scroll with a purpose, or give myself an allotted time and stick with it
    • I try really hard to be intentional with my son, but there is always room for improvement
    • I need more intentional time with my husband
    • I don’t want to waste my time on drama, or complaining, or gossiping. I have much better uses for it
    • Lastly, I don’t want to give my time to people who do not deserve it or do not respect it
  • As always, I want to read and write more
  • I want to make more homemade food (my husband is the chef, but I have had such a spark to expand my cooking skills and make more things from scratch)
  • I want to get healthy
  • My last goal, which is a new one for me… I want to be more adventurous this year. This doesn’t mean crazy things. One idea I have already is to kayak. We live on a lake. My husband and our roommate have kayaks that they never take out. I want to get my own kayak and have family outings on the lake. I want to go camp more places. I want to do more hikes or explore more places nearby or close enough to be a day trip
    • I can be such a homebody, which is fine, but I need to push myself to get out there. I know once I finally get out there, it is so worth it. I think my struggle is that our family is so busy already, adding in new things can feel exhausting. There needs to be a balance of activities and recoup weekends at home.

Of course I have more small goals within all of these goals, but this is the general idea. I am excited for this year. I really feel deep down that this is going to be a year of significant changes in myself. I am pointed in the direction I want, and I am going to keep working and building until I get to where I want, giving myself grace where I need it. Change is slow, and slow is okay. Slow is what we want. Cheers to 2025 ✨

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lifestyle, Style, the.B.Law

Postpartum Style – Will I Feel Like Me Again?

Clothes have always been my thing. My greatest way to express myself is through style, it has been ever since I got a job at a retail store when I was 16 years old. My passion for dressing up has only grown since then. Sure my style has changed a lot through the years, there were even times where my effort for picking outfits was low, but the love for a good outfit has always been there.

A good outfit gives such a sense of confidence and can set the tone for the whole day. Looking good makes you feel good however, I am in a season of life right now where I just don’t feel excited about my clothes, and honestly don’t feel quite like myself.

I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy in October. Maternity style is a different animal. For the most part, if you wear most any maternity dress while pregnant, you look so cute because it is all about the baby bump. Style after birth though is hard. Maternity clothes somewhat fit still, and pre-pregnancy clothes pretty much do not fit, or fit in a completely different way. I used to love picking out outfits and getting dressed in the morning, but now I mostly dread it. Nothing I have fits how I would like it to. I feel frumpy in everything. Even oversized sweaters just don’t look right to me. Jeans are my worst enemy right now. I need to wear a larger size because I still have post belly weight to lose, but the larger sizes are tight around my belly, baggy on my butt and legs, and they don’t feel comfy.

This mindset of feeling awful and ugly in everything I put on is something I am trying to work on. It is a constant battle, one I generally avoid by wearing sweats or leggings at home… which is easy considering it is winter and our house is freezing. I need to remind myself that I grew a whole baby. I was able to carry him full term and he is wonderful and perfect. I also need to remind myself that the current condition of my body is just a season. It is temporary and I have the ability to help change it. My husband is amazing and always lets me know he still thinks I am beautiful. I appreciate him so much.

Now that I am back to work, I am ready to change. Although I have anxiety of going back to work, I am excited about having a reason to get ready in the morning. I have been feeling the pull to dress up again and make myself feel good. My goal (which I always say, but really mean it this time 😅) is to pick out my outfits for each day in advance, but this time I want to pick out my outfits for the whole week by the Sunday before. This shouldn’t be too hard since I will only be in the office three days a week.

So will I ever feel like me again? Yes, but not the old me. I am coming into my new self, Brittany 2.0. This is my first (sort of) style post in over a year and it feels good. I am excited to feel like the new me, and figure out who she is. This Brittany has been promoted to a mom and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

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lifestyle, the.B.Law

Changing My Entire Outlook On Life

It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.

I don’t care how often that lyric is getting used by basic girls around the world, I still love it. I am the problem I am never on here and hopefully I will be the pushing change to come back.

Anywho, hello! Happy 2023! Not going to lie, not a fan of the number but whatever, can’t change the name of the year because I am weird. We are 20 days in and I am fighting the urge to feel behind because my sister and I decided we are doing this year different. We are going to give ourselves grace and space. Working on stopping the toxic mindsets of needing to change everything about us all at once. Instead our plan is to change everything about us, but slowly and one piece at a time. We call it… “Changing Our Entire Outlook On Life”, and I am here for it.

Last year was a big year. An exciting year! But an equally stressful year. My fiancé and I moved in together in February, and in November got married. So great! Like dream status. But that all came with a lot of stress and a lot of pressure put on myself by myself. I will do another post on the wedding and wedding stress later, but all of last year was basically consumed with that.

This year I am focusing on myself, my husband, and what makes me happy, no matter how small! My sister and I started off by making a list of little things that make us feel happy or put together. Simple things like having our nails painted (which I haven’t at all these last 20 days), making cute lattes at home, and dressing in our color aesthetic. It is hard to explain, but we basically want to make our aesthetic our lifestyle. I know that makes no sense to most, but if you get it, good for you.

These last 20 days I have been working on internally fighting the pressure to be at the gym every day, change my entire diet, and be hitting every single goal I wish I could be. Instead I have been giving myself time. Time to reflect on what I really want to accomplish, the person I want to be, and the wife I want to be. I really haven’t gotten that many tangible things done in this first month, but I think getting my mind right is a good first place to start.

So here is to the new year. I say it every year, but this time I truly have feelings this will be THE YEAR. The year that is mine, and not everyone else’s because I keep giving it to them. Sorry everyone, but it is my turn.

PS – my hair is brown now. What can I say, new year new me.

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the.B.Law

Eternal Ray of Effing Sunshine

Let’s have a therapy session, shall we? I want to talk about optimism and positivity. Two great things, wouldn’t you agree? I am kind of known as the eternal optimist in my neck of the woods. I am always pushing for my friends and my family to see the brighter side of things, to search for the positives in every situation rather than dwell on the bad or what could go wrong. I push it a lot with my older sister whom I live with. She has a letter board in the living room and I made it say “Negative Nancy don’t live here no more”. Not long before that, the board used to say “What is the glass? Half full!”. I make she and my now nine-year-old niece chant both of these phrases often.

Negative Nancy don’t live here no more!

I tend to be this way at work too. I figure in most cases, work and personal life, what is being negative going to do to help better any situation? It isn’t going to do anything but give you a bad attitude. Usually, with some patience and a positive attitude, you can get through most bad situations. But recently, I have felt myself growing tired of my role as the eternal ray of sunshine. It has grown from me wanting to be positive, to it feeling like it is my RESPONSIBILITY to be positive, like it is my duty. It is like I have created this character and I am not allowed to break from it. Which makes it sound like a bad thing. I am not trying to brag like “oh I am so positive all the time” and give myself an undercover compliment. You know when you are in a job interview, and they ask what your weakness is, and you say something like “I am a perfectionist,” or “I work too much and don’t like to leave things unfinished” as a way of complimenting yourself? This is not what this is. In this case, I am finding out that for me, being so positive all the time, is resulting negatively on myself. I am pouring so much out into everyone else with this character that I must be, that I am EXHAUSTED. The pressure I have bestowed upon myself is just ridiculous. As if I have any power at all, that if I am not positive on any given situation, that the world might crumble for that individual. As if I am the only thing keeping their head above the water. It is an incredible weight.

I have felt myself growing tired of my role as the eternal ray of sunshine.

Since I am the one who is always so positive and glass half full for everyone else, then I feel like I am not ALLOWED to feel negative our doubtful for myself. And since I am not ALLOWED to be this way publicly, it leaves me to have to feel negative, and down, and any other kind of bad emotion by myself and deal with it alone. Not having anyone be there and be positive for you because they don’t know that you need it, can feel really lonely. It doubles up on the exhaustion. Again you are pouring everything into everyone else, and left to try and recharge on your own. This has no bad reflection on the people around me, the fault is entirely on me. I have gotten so good at keeping a positive front, that I do not let my feelings show (or at least I think I do a good job at it) that something is wrong. I am very much in the mind set that I AM FINE, and can deal, and do not need help.

It is such a mix of great quality traits, turning on you to create a vicious cycle. One of your own making, fueled by everyone else expecting you to be this way because you have made them believe that this is you all the time, when in reality, you are drowning. I am drowning in my support for others emotions and I am not quite sure what to do about it. And let me tell you, emotional exhaustion hits different at the end of the day than physical exhaustion. It makes you incapable of doing what you need to do at the end of the day to feel successful or happy, which in turns makes you more unhappy.

And let me tell you, emotional exhaustion hits different at the end of the day than physical exhaustion.

Now this isn’t a feeling all the time. There are perfectly good days where I am positive, everyone else is positive, and things just go great. But some days can start to spiral and crumble because of a single moment. A whole day down the tubes, and most times it feels like there is no way to stop it. It feels like you are pushing everyone up above you until you’re at the bottom alone, with a body full of anxiety.

I am somehow able to verbalize this to myself and write it down here, and it seems simple to stop or change, but the immense pressure and rules we place on ourselves are a lot stronger than we realize. A simple task, ask for help. Complicated rebuttal, I CAN’T. I SO cannot be an inconvenience to anyone that I will choose to do everything I can on my own.

I’m not sure where I am going with this, I just felt the need to talk about it somewhere after multiple and increasing mental breakdowns that I try to not let show and will just deal with internally. If you understand me, let me know. If you have suggestions, let me know. I need to find a balance of being there for myself, just as much as I am there for others. Your encouragement is welcomed.

Thanks fiends for listening.

Love, Anxious Britt

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the.B.Law

Check Out These Pearly Whites!

Hello there and happy Monday!

If you have been following along, then you know about my braces journey. How could you not know, it was all I could complain about 😆. Well, I have had them off for five months now AND I LOVE IT! Except, now I obsess about wearing my retainer. I swear one time I didn’t wear it for four hours, and a tooth moved. I literally wear it all the time because I don’t want to waste all the money I spent. Not to toot my own horn, but I have gotten pretty good at speaking with a retainer in. Except for when I am dehydrated and talking too fast, which let’s be real, that is all the time. But on a good day, or more in a good moment, I speak pretty clear with a minimal lisp.

Anyways, this post is not about my old news braces, it is about oral care and whitening. I had the opportunity to work with Smile Brilliant about three years ago trying out their custom whitening trays (read my first post here), then again two years ago to try their cariPro Electric Toothbrush (read that post here). They quickly became a company that I know and trust (and not just because their products are great, but their people are great too!)

The first time I tried their custom at-home teeth whitening system was before I had braces. Once I got my braces on I was sad that I had to throw my trays away. With this program, you get to make custom trays with molds they send you at home. Super easy to do. But since these trays are specifically designed for YOUR teeth, I couldn’t use mine anymore. So when Smile Brilliant reached out recently asking how I was doing and if we wanted to work together again, they offered me the opportunity to create new trays for my newly straightened teeth. You bet I was so excited to use these again because I KNOW it works, and I really wanted to whiten my new smile.

Same program as last time, I received the starter pack in the mail: the mold materials, instructions, and pre-paid package to send them back. I created my molds and even though this was the second time I have done this, I still messed up and had to use the extra materials they give you for a re-do, THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING MY PERFECTIONISM. After I sent them in, I waited for their lab to create my teeth, I mean trays. 

When they finally arrived, I was so anxious to get started. You have to remember that you brush first with just water, then put a thin layer of the whitening solution in each tray toward the front portion of the tray, pop them in your mouth and set a timer. You can have them in from 45 minutes to three hours! I have only ever been able to go an hour and 15 minutes because I have sensitive teeth, but I still see results with the shorter amounts of time. Once you are done with the whitening, you rinse out the trays, and put the desensitizing gel in the same way, and pop that on your teeth for 15-20 minutes. This helps with any sensitivity after whitening.

This time around, my teeth have been more sensitive, my assumption is because I had braces scraped off my teeth. I was educated that teeth get dehydrated, and was advised when I take a break from whitening, to use the trays with just the desensitizing gel a couple nights, then go back to whitening. This seemed to help. I had to take two to three days off at a time this time, so getting to the whiteness I wanted took a little longer, but I could see results with each session and I am really happy about it. These photos are about four weeks apart, whitening about every three days. It is so exciting to have my braces off AND have bright, white teeth! I really recommend Smile Brilliant as an affordable at-home teeth whitening system and have been recommending them since the first time I got to try their system. It is just so simple and really delivers results!

Before and after 2018!
Before and after 2021!

Their custom teeth whitening is not the only thing I love though. I am still in love with my cariPRO electric tooth brush. It is probably obvious that I am all about products for sensitive teeth, and this electric tooth brush has a “sensitive” setting, which is the main setting I use. The battery also lasts FOREVER. The next thing on my list to try is their cordless water flosser! I have only tried a water flosser once, and it had a cord and didn’t seem super easy. I have heard that once you use a water flosser (a good one), you will never want to go back to normal flossing, so I am super excited to try that. I have only heard good things about it.

A couple other products Smile Brilliant offers is a custom night guard to help with clenching your teeth and grinding your teeth at night, and a plaque highlighter to temporarily show you where plaque is gathering on your teeth so you know where to brush really well. This can be used by adults and kids, and I think it would be fun to use with my niece. We can see who is better at brushing their teeth and make it a game. Smile Brilliant also has oral probiotics coming out soon to help repopulate good bacteria in your mouth!

So many good things, that is why I really love and recommend this company. They take oral health very seriously, not just getting your teeth white. I can’t wait to keep my custom trays now that my teeth won’t be changing, and use them a couple times a month to keep any new stains off of my teeth. Once you get to the whiteness you want, it is just a matter of maintaining it.

Now for something fun, I get to do a give away! One of you will get a chance to win your own custom teeth whitening! This link will take you straight to the giveaway form: https://www.smilebrilliant.com/g/theblaw, and it is super simple to enter!

Also, use my code ‘THEBLAWTB20’ for 20% off any purchase from Smile Brilliant! Be sure to share what you end up trying! I can’t wait to see everyone’s beautiful white smiles! 😬

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lifestyle, the.B.Law

My Blog Relationship Status

I have been thinking about my blog a lot lately, and how I want to get back into it (I am always in a state of “wanting to get back into it”). But I also need to address and come to terms of where I am at relationship wise with my blog. I started this seven years ago now (as Tragic Girls), and have been the.B.Law for five and a half years I think. But over the years, my blogging activities were circumstantial to what was going on in my life.

When I started off as Tragic Girls, it was both fun and scary, I posted timidly. I remember the first time I published, I was so giddy I didn’t even sleep well, wondering what people would think as they read my own words. Which thinking back on that now was silly considering I had no followers. But low and behold, some people read, and I felt cool.

Fast forward a year and a half, I changed the blog name to the.B.Law, to focus on style and fashion. I lived with my ex at the time. I was really pumped and excited about now changing my focus to style, but was still posting timidly since my ex thought the whole thing was lame. Instead of letting that fuel my fire in an “I’ll show you” kind of way, I let it hinder me. I was really hesitant to create an Instagram account for my blog because of him, but I made one anyways after one of my friends made one for her new blog with no hesitation. She inspired me, so I went for it (shoutout Amanda).

Another year and a half later and I was moving in with my older sister and her family after my ex broke it off. At that point, my blog relationship completely changed. I IMMERSED myself in it. I was planning, writing, and posting three times a week, planning and posting style pics almost every day on Instagram, and going out every weekend to create content. I loved Sundays because that was the day I would sit down with my phone, laptop, and planner and create my content calendar for the next week. This time was really enjoyable for me, I needed it. But it wasn’t until almost a year later that I realized I was using my blog as a crutch to cope with feeling broken. Which I wouldn’t necessarily say was a bad thing, but could have been if I would have kept it up longer than was needed. It was both a healing mechanism and a distraction.

Next, a year later (maybe? getting confused on the time), I was still living with my sister (but in their new house), and getting closer to one of my younger sisters. I was single and her boyfriend worked every weekend, so we started going line dancing. We started attending line dance lessons at our favorite bar a few times a week. These activities left me little time to blog, but I felt okay with that since I was having so much fun. But when I would sit down to blog, I again felt timid. This new circle of friends were not into the whole blog scene, which was fine, but I let it affect my decisions to blog. I didn’t want to appear lame that I had a blog that wasn’t big and wanted to build a following on Instagram. I was older than all of them and really let it get to my head. So I just didn’t blog much. Now were these their actual feelings towards blogging? I don’t know because I never felt confident enough to just do it and that is on me.

Second to last chapter in this story… another year or so later, and I have a new boyfriend. If you have been following then you know who he is. Preston, aka – Mr. Montana, and I start dating and get this… he LIKES that I write and even finds it ATTRACTIVE. Um what?! But now, flash forward to today, he has been back in CA for a year, and I still have not been blogging, mostly because we were and are always doing things on the weekends.

This past weekend I read the new launch of Indy Blue’s blog (the young 23 year old internet queen who inspires me), and was of course inspired after reading her latest post. I want to come back to this space I created because I WANT TO. Not because I feel like I should, or come back timidly because of who I am with or who I am hanging out with. I want to write freely about what I want whether that be a style post, a sappy in my feelings post, or just about something I think is fun. I created this blog for me, and I so often forget that. Not to be rude, but this blog isn’t about what you, my readers want, it is about what I want, and if that happens to interest you then great, pull up a chair. If not, you don’t have to read.

For so long, I have not been posting for me, letting others unknowingly dictate my presence in something I created.

I want to get back to a good place with my blog. The.B.Law is my creation and has been here for me through many different stages in my life over the past seven years. Now that I am stable (LOL), it’s time for me to make this platform stable, but with no pressure. As much as I love a planner, which I just bought a new super cute one, I am going to try and aim for a posting goal, rather than a posting deadline. I always feel like Friday is a good day for posting a blog, but if I miss a Friday, it is okay. As for what I might post about, who knows! Could be anything, but you can rest assured that whatever I post, will mean something to me. For so long, I have not been posting for me, letting others unknowingly dictate my presence in something I created. There is no fault on them, just lessons to learn for me. But now it is time.

So if you have followed along this far, thank you, and I hope you will continue to do so. Don’t be shy of the comments box, if you have ever felt the same feel free to share. We are all navigating this era of the world. The internet instantly connects us all, but is hurting real connections. Knowing you’re not alone in your experiences sure can make a difference.

Until my next post, talk to you soon.

xoxo – Britt

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dating, lifestyle, the.B.Law

Then & Now

I love sitting back and thinking about how current situations came to be. For instance, when you realize that if you wouldn’t have been at that party that particular night, you wouldn’t have met so&so who helped you get your current job, or something like that. You know, those types of situations. Everything always has a way of working out. God always has a plan, even if we don’t know what it is, or think he has forgotten about us.

I can’t help but think about my current situation. Tomorrow, January 23, 2021, marks exactly a year since Preston reached out to me for the first time. Granted I didn’t see his message for ten days, but that is beside the point. One year ago, this Montana man came home to visit his family in California, mind you in over FOUR YEARS he only came down twice, and he and his family happened to go camping when he was down. His sister also happens to be one of my sister’s best friends, and she watches my nephew every week. My sister and her family JUST SO HAPPENED to be invited to this camping trip, where they met this Montana brother. In my sister’s less than sober state, she told Mr. Montana all about me and showed him my Instagram. Come January 23, 2020, Preston was brave and took a shot at asking me out before he went back to Montana. Like I said, ten days passed and I didn’t see his message until he was back in Montana. But it didn’t end there.

As I was giving up, you were stepping up.

As I am sure I have mentioned previously, we slowly started responding to each other’s Instagram stories, which turned into longer conversations, which turned into messaging every day, to texting every day, to Instagram “FaceTiming” because Montana has no service for real FaceTime, to me BUYING A PLANE TICKET TO MONTANA and “meeting” Preston for the first time in the Bozeman, MT airport. Seven months from that day in the airport and we are here. Here as in California. We currently live 14 minutes from each other. In these last seven months we have fallen in love, fallen in love with each other’s families, have been on numerous adventures, and have made plans, and continue to make plans for our future together. Seven months and sometimes I still cannot believe this is real. Does this perfect, handsome, cowboy man ACTUALLY want me? Like STILL? For everyone who told me “when you know, you know,” and I rolled my eyes at you, you were right. I never imagined this could be this easy. I never imagined I would fall for someone in another state, let alone Montana. That is the only reason I messaged him back in the first place, because he was in Montana so nothing could happen. Well just look at this unraveled plan! It is beautiful and makes me excited every day.

Thank you to my sister for having one too many drinks and singing my praises to a guy she didn’t know. She will forever hold credit. As I was giving up, Preston was stepping up, and my life will never be the same. I cannot wait to see what else the future holds for us.

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lifestyle, the.B.Law

Can We Just Start Over?

Wow, I have not posted since October… shame on me. Not to use the same excuse that everyone has, but 2020 was rough. It started off great and we thought it was going to be like THE YEAR, and then the rug got pulled out from under us. AND THEN, to let the year come full circle, I am spending the first two weeks of the long awaited new year IN QUARANTINE because yes, my whole house got COVID (we are all fine). But maybe this is a good thing? Because 2020 started off great and then went downhill. Maybe since my 2021 is starting off at the bottom of that hill, it can only go up from here? I am hopeful.

Aside from 2020 being different, and hard, there were a couple great things for me. I turned 30 in February and didn’t die (but then the world actually ended… I don’t think those events are related), and I got to have an epic 30th trashy birthday party. The other amazing thing was finding a boyfriend and love! So 2020 may be the year of the pandemic, but it will always be the year I found my person and got to visit Montana three times to see him and move him home. A big enough event for me to say 2020 wasn’t all that bad.

Two of my sisters and I sat down this past Monday and set goals for the new year, but kind of broke them down into weekly and monthly goals with check-ins. I know it has only been a few days but it really has me motivated. My goals include getting my brand Tragic Girls H.Q. up and going, working on my writing (poem collection and book), and obviously this blog and my Instagram that goes with it. My relationship with this blog has really changed over the years and fell in place with where I was in life. I was pretty steady (I think) about three years ago, then post break up I realized I used my blog as a clutch. I was literally pumping out content about three times a week and planning and doing most of the work on Sundays. That wasn’t a bad thing and I really enjoyed it. It was what I needed at that time in my life. Then the next year I came out of hiding and started going out with my younger sister and had A TON of fun, but didn’t leave as much time for blogging. This last year as I said above, there was the pandemic, falling in love, and I still didn’t leave myself much time for the blog.

NOW THIS YEAR I want to get back to it. I want to continue documenting my adventures and all of the new adventures that are going to come. My goal for this year is to post every Friday. If I get a second in for the week then go me, but bare minimum I need a put a post out every Friday. I am ready for the challenge and ready to get back to creating. I need it!

Thanks for being along for the ride. Content will vary between life, adventures, styles, advice, all of it! Let’s do it!

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lifestyle, the.B.Law

That New New – Pt. 2

Hey! I’m going to stop you right there and say if you have not read the first half of this post, That New New – Pt. 1, then go read that first.

I have left you hanging on updates since May… sorry about that, slack attack. Recap, it was May and I bought a plane ticket to go meet Mr. Montana in June, IN MONTANA, and be his wedding date… to a wedding he was also now officiating. Talk about a first date.

“Four months of anticipation packed into a carryon. 30 years of life and I’d never flown alone.”

Can you imagine my nerves? I was about to fly, BY MYSELF for the first time, to go meet a guy I had only ever FaceTimed… on Instagram because he never had enough service to actually FaceTime 😅. MY FATHER WAS LIKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! But I had to go.

“I swear my heart was beating louder than the roar of the engines as we touched down.”

The week had come, AND MY FLIGHT CHANGED LIKE DAYS BEFORE, WHICH WOULD HAVE LEFT ME TO MISS MY CONNECTING FLIGHT. So after waiting literally 10 hours for a call back from Delta, I got a flight the day prior, had to call my manager while I had the Delta lady on hold to get approved to take one more day off, and get to Montana a day early. June 4th. I would be there from Thursday at lunch time to Sunday. Walking out of the terminal I was SO NERVOUS. I arrived at noon-ish which meant Mr. Montana had to get me on his lunch break. I texted him and he told me he wasn’t there yet. I got on the escalator and saw him walking towards it, he was already there waiting to surprise me. With sunflowers, my favorite. Wearing cowboy boots, also my favorite. He walked up to me, put his spare arm around me and pulled me in for our first kiss and it was magical. We were both literally shaking as we walked back to his Jeep. Also please note he handed me the flowers and took my bag from me. I was shookth. Who was this gentleman and where did he come from?

“My knees weak and nervous, my mouth dry from my mask. The world was falling apart, but I just wanted to fall into you.”

He drove me to his cabin and had to go back to work, so I got to cuddle with his amazing dog Raen and take a nap. Life was good.

“The descend of the escalator, Lord please don’t let me fall. I could see you, cowboy boots, the sunflowers bright in your hand, my favorite.”

That night he came home from work, COOKED FOR ME, like the best pasta ever, then asked me to officially be his girlfriend. It was a dream. The rest of the weekend was amazing. Date night Friday, wedding for his best friends Saturday, and crying when I went home on Sunday.

“You wrapped your free arm around me, strong but gentle, and we kissed for the first time. It took everything in me not to melt into a puddle on the floor.”

A month goes by and I find a cheap plane ticket to go back for the Fourth of July, but I had to drive to Vegas in order to get this cheap flight. Done. Got to work at the crack of dawn, worked eight hours, drove four hours to Vegas, waited at the airport for like another four (or more) hours because my plane got delayed twice, and arrived at just about midnight for another fun filled Montana weekend which included staying in this chic little sheep wagon, a rodeo, and a river float.

“A trade, flowers for my bag, my hand in yours, and the wonder of whether the moment was even real as we walked to your Jeep.”

Two months later, I flew back out for Labor Day weekend (this time from Ontario and not Vegas) to move Mr. Montana back to California, and we have basically been together almost every day since.

“You opened my door. The brief moment to myself, as you put my bag in the back, might have been the first breath I took since you stole it away.”

That was just a super quick update, I will give more details in another post. Just know he is here, we are BEYOND happy, and oh yeah, his name is Preston.

“Door closed behind you, my face is in your hands, your lips on mine. You pulled back and smiled and I could see my future in your eyes.”

(follow on insta, @the.b.law, if you don’t already to see more of his lovely face 😉)

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lifestyle, the.B.Law

The Season has Changed

I found this post in my drafts. I don’t even remember when I started it, but if I had to guess it was before my birthday in February. Let me tell you, turning 30 really messes with your mind 😅. I have settled in though now that it has been over a month. Read on and we will circle up at the end:

In the midst of “finding myself” recently and being pretty happy with where I am currently at, I have also been feeling fairly lost. It is strange to have such conflicting feelings. I feel like I have come such a long way in being content, that this lost feeling character rearing its head is throwing me off. It makes me question really how much I have grown or learned.

This may sound weird or maybe even narcissistic, but I often think I am hyper-self aware. I don’t know if those are even the right terms, but let me explain. I am aware when I am feeling some sort of way, mostly when it is a way I should not be feeling. For instance, I will be the first to admit when I am throwing my own pity party. I will literally laugh at myself, acknowledge that I am ridiculous, yet still hang out at this sad party for one. Countless times I am telling my sister “I feel like (insert feeling), I know that’s not true, but I just feel (insert feeling).” It is such circle that one can go round and round in. I don’t even let her talk! It is just me talking to myself with her listening, playing both sides of the conversation.  I wonder if not having this self-awareness would make life easier. It would allow me to actually call my sister for good ole’ advice instead of just ranting and knowing deep down that I am just a nut. Now writing this, I don’t even know if that made sense but I hope it did.

ANYWAYS, I guess this is all to preface the fact that I have been feeling lost, but I know I am not, yet I am going to stay in this lost fog until I decide to pull myself out. So if you need me that is where I will be. This is a different feeling of lost though. It is more lost incognito. When I go somewhere I have never been, by myself, I hate looking lost and like I do not know what I am doing. Therefore I try really hard to act like I know what I am doing. That is what this feels like this time. A subtle war in myself of convincing everyone else I know what I am doing, but maybe I am just trying to convince myself. I don’t like appearing like I am not alright, so the front goes up.

I feel like I am in a sort of transition. Almost like the seasons changing, I am half bleh and half really happy.

That is where I ended that rant. The last line stuck out to me though today about feeling in transition and the seasons changing. Because I was absolutely right about that. At this current point in time, I am not feeling lost, I am feeling content, and dare I say… happy? Yes I said it, I am feeling genuinely happy, but not without reason. Something has happened since I originally started this post. Something you will hear about soon enough. So for now just know, we are doing okay 😊… 👇🏼 … 👀

my cheeks should be burnt from the amount of times youve made me blush.

 

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