Category Archives: Tragic Shorts

Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Near Death by Floss

My roomie and I have a dentist phobia. We both didn’t go for a shameful amount of time that I will not share. We only told each other because it was the same for both of us. Anyways we both finally went. Her visit was far more traumatizing than mine because she had to get a root canal, while I only had two beginnings of cavities. The dentist didn’t have to numb me to fill them. Since then we have both been trying to do the whole dentist routine like flossing. We started, then stopped of course. Tonight though I’d thought I’d floss because I haven’t in awhile. This was literally just five minutes ago and it was a tragic experience. I started flossing and I got to my third spot, my front two teeth. The floss went up with a struggle, but wouldn’t come back down. When I tried to pull it down my gums just started gushing blood. I started panicking. All these thoughts came rushing in my head that I was going to break my teeth or they were going to fall out! This tiny string of fibers was going to break my teeth! OH MY GOD! My roomie saw the look of panic on my face and asked if I was okay. The only way to get the floss out was to pull the whole strand through my teeth. I threw it away and didn’t even finish flossing, I was too scared. I told my roomie I was about to have her cut it out of my teeth. She told me she would do it because she is good in emergencies.

That’s love right there, a roomie that will cut floss out of your teeth when it gets stuck. Love you!

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The Fab Five, Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Creepin

Here’s to the guy who tried so hard to dance with my roomie when we went to down town Fullerton for her birthday the other Saturday. I am not a fan of down town Fullerton and this weekend did not convince me otherwise, but there was some good entertainment. There we were in bar, and us girls, the usual Fab Five plus a couple more, were dancing on the dance floor while the boyfriends were posted up at the bar keeping an eye on us. As I was looking back from checking where the boys were, I saw him. He was dancing alone, which I guess wouldn’t be so weird except for the fact that he was really alone. He was just grooving all by himself with his long, greasy hair, leather jacket, harem pants, and combat boots. It was quite the ensemble. I noticed this guy getting closer and closer to my roomie, who was pretty tipsy by this point. We could all tell that he wanted to dance with her, but she kept putting her back to him because even slightly intoxicated, her inhibitions told her that this guy was weird. She made it obvious she didn’t want to dance.
Finally this guy got brave and got in front of my roomie. She didn’t know what to do with this confrontation so she kept dancing. Suddenly he picked her up, put her legs around him, and bent her over and started grinding, conveniently holding her up with his hands under her butt. None of us knew what to do so we just stared. He brought her back up and she looked so shocked and we all started laughing. T being her usual self, pulls her phone out and asked him if he could do it again. With no hesitation he grabs my roomie again and picks her up while T snaps pictures. It had to be the funniest and boldest thing we had seen. We promptly left soon after that leaving the guy behind wondering what he did wrong.

He moved so fast that these were the only pictures we got…

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The Fab Five, Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Keep Your Heels On

Rule number one: YOU DO NOT TAKE YOUR HEELS OFF! Classy girls keep their heels on. Just like when T and I walked 0.6 miles in Pasadena in our heels like I talked about in the last post. We were at K’s wedding this past Saturday and it was dancing time.

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We were all a tad intoxicated. Side note: I highly suggest to NOT mix tequila, vodka, wine, and champagne all in the same night. I was not feeling too hot yesterday. But that is neither here nor there, this tragic short is about A. A is probably one of the classiest girls we all know, yet she is the one who takes her heels off. She took her heels off at her bachelorette party and walked the streets of down town Palm Springs barefoot. Saturday she took her heels off and went back on the dance floor. Mind you she only does this when she is drunk, yet she still shines with class. Here is to A!

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Boys Logic, Tragic Shorts

#boyslogic- Ironing

My boyfriend lives on his own which means he knows how to take care of himself. He can clean, make sure he doesn’t starve so he cooks to an extent, and he can do his own laundry. On the topic of laundry, that action involves more that just washing and drying your clothes. Laundry also entails folding your clothes or hanging them, putting them away, or ironing them so you look presentable with no wrinkles. My boyfriend owns an iron, however does his own way of ironing…

I was at his place one Sunday and I was supposed to go home but I had such a bad headache I slept until 10pm, so I was not about to drive home. I kept telling him in between sleeping that I needed to go home because I didn’t have clothes for work the next day. He suggested one of the tops I wore over the weekend and I told him that I couldn’t because it was too wrinkled. That’s a pet peeve of mine, I HATE wearing wrinkled clothes. Anyways, he was being a good boyfriend and trying to take care of me, so the next time I woke up from my nightmare of a headache, he told me that he sprayed water on my top and laid it on the floor with his shorts on top, because his shorts were heavy and that the weight would help get the wrinkles out. It was the sweetest gesture that I couldn’t help but smile.

Just as I thought, when I put the shirt on the next morning it was more wrinkled that it was before he “ironed” it. I wore it with pride though because he did that for me. Still whenever he does laundry his t shirts are in flat piles on the floor so that they won’t be wrinkled.

#boyslogic

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Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Stalker Fail

The guy my roomie was dating broke it off with her about two months ago for idiotic reasons. Whatever, he doesn’t deserve my amazing roommate, but she was sad about it and occasionally still is. She should not waste sadness on a douche-wad like him. Anyways, recently she was stalking him, like she shouldn’t have been, on Instagram. I wasn’t home, which is probably why she did it, because I would have told her not to. As punishment for her sneakily stalking him, she dropped her phone. This wasn’t any drop though. You see, she was lying down while she was stalking him, on her back. So where would she have dropped her phone? She dropped it on her face, resulting in her liking one of his pictures, WITH HER FACE. When she told me I laughed so hard! That would happen to her. I told her that’s what she gets for stalking.
As karma goes, two weeks ago my roomies ex from almost a year ago liked one of her pictures from 42 weeks ago. He was clearly stalking. Who just scrolls down the news feed back 42 weeks? The moral of the story here, don’t stalk on your phone while lying on your back.

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tragic girls, Tragic Shorts

Being Thankful

Being the Thanksgiving season and all we should all take the chance to recognize what we are thankful for. I myself am thankful for a lot. I’m thankful for the wonderful dinner that I got to eat with my family today and that I got to watch my 2 year old niece play. But I am also thankful for so much more…

10 things I am thankful for:
1- I am thankful for the dry shampoo that I had to use two days in a row this week because I was too lazy to wash my hair
2- I’m thankful for tampons because they are probably one of the best inventions in the world
3- I am thankful that I didn’t pop my tire when I ran over the curb yesterday
4- For my roomie, may she always be just as tragic as I am
5- I’m thankful for my Bfffff and that she has put up with me for 15 years
6- For my sisters assuring me that I am not the only crazy one
7- I am thankful that living on my own has taught me that snacks actually make a good dinner
8- For my boyfriend because for some reason he loves me
9- I am thankful that I am a sneaky, ninja, closeted psycho girl but appear put together to everyone else
10- I am thankful that although I can’t remember things all the time, I can always remember movie quotes like a teenage boy

There are things to be thankful for everyday. Instead of always go, go, going, we need to take time to reflect and be happy with our lives no matter how tragic they are. Love your life, your family, and your friends and be thankful that you have them.

Love,
-Tragic Girls ❤

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tragic girls, Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Bat the Tragic Cat

My best friend’s family has had Bat the Cat ever since I met her 14 years ago. He was always around for amusement when we were there, showing himself off in provocative poses. He would lean his overweight self back and stare at us knowing deep down he was sexy. Watch out JT for Bat is bringing Sexy Cat. I started to notice that Bat had quite a thing for me. Whenever I’d spend the night he would find his way over to me and cuddle up at my legs. It was cozy until my legs went to sleep under his weight.
Over the years Bat lived on as normal, however like most, getting old took a toll on his body. At the age of 14 he never looked younger. He lost so much weight you would swear he was a kitten again. He was quite spry for an old man, always keeping up on his cat duties. But as time went on, Bat slowed down.
We knew it must be coming to an end as Bat started to lose control over his body. I awoke to a tragic text from my best friend one recent morning: IMG_1991.PNG
Although awful, part of me and I know my best friend laughed. Typical Bat. Squeezing every last bit of his youth out, literally. On September 26, 2014 Bat, or to be more formal Batrick, left this world behind. So here is to you Bat, thanks for all the laughs and times we cuddled. RIP.

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tragic girls, Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- The Family Junk Yard

Being tragic runs in my family which makes me feel better that it is not just me. It turns out all of my sisters are also tragic, more some than others, and even my dad, even though he won’t admit it. Well two of my sisters and I decided to prove the whole “bad things happen in threes” saying in the best way possible, with our cars.

Exhibit A:
My younger sister was driving to her friends house one night. She had a red 1994 Ford Escort Wagon legit with automatic seat belts. She was at a stop light sitting behind a Mercedes when the light turned green. Everyone started going including my sister, then everyone stopped, not including my sister. She was barely going and hit the back of the Mercedes. Nothing happened to the Mercedes but my sister got a totaled car and an airbag to the face.

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Three weeks later…

Exhibit B:
My youngest sister was driving to school in her red 1991 Jeep. She started going over the bumps in the center line so went to correct herself. She somehow over corrected and swerved to the right, then went to correct that and swerved to the left, then over corrected again and swerved to the right resulting into her going over the curb, plowing over hedges, and crashing into a tree. Actually going a good speed this sister needed an airbag but her jeep didn’t have them and she smacked her head on her steering wheel. Thankfully she was okay, but that tree gave no cares and was perfectly fine but the jeep became totaled car number two.

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Two weeks later…

Exhibit C:
I was driving in my blue 2009 Toyota Corolla to my boyfriend’s house after work. I was on the freeway in the fast lane going probably around 70 mph. There was a lot of cars but it was a constant flow, not stop and go traffic. All of a sudden I see the small car in front of the van in front of me swerve to the left and then the van just came to a dead stop so fast that I couldn’t stop fast enough. I crashed right into the van. When I looked up I just saw my hood completely bent up and no airbags. Come to find out later my car had a recall for airbags so they should have gone off, they were just defected. Anyways this was totaled car number three.

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You can imagine how freaked out our parents were. Three totaled cars all within a month an a half. I wonder what our neighbors thought when one crashed car was sitting out front after another. Thus became the not so funny joke of the family junk yard.

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tragic girls, Tragic Shorts

A Tragic Short- Hubba Hubcap

My sister and I were driving home from somewhere, I don’t remember from where, but she was behind me. After I passed the street where she would be turning she called me. When I answered she told me that my hub cap just rolled off. Are you serious?! This had already happened before and I had to drive around all ghetto with one hubcap for awhile. Anyways, she told me she would pick it up for me because I had just gotten on the freeway. What a nice sister.

The next week, after driving around ghetto yet again, I went over to my sister’s to visit and to get my hubcap. We were watching a movie and her boyfriend went to go put my hubcap back on. After a few minutes he calls us from down at my car and says that it’s not the right hubcap. My sister said what do you mean it isn’t the right hubcap? I asked her if she picked up the one that she saw fall off? She told me yes she did… after she went to Target. She said that it had to be the right one, it even had a Toyota emblem on it. I turned and looked at her. My hubcaps didn’t have a Toyota emblem on them. She looked confused and said but you have a Toyota. I told her yes I do but my hubcap fell off before and I got all new ones that didn’t say Toyota. I could tell she was trying to hold in her laugh. All of a sudden we started busting up laughing. That is true sister love when she picks up someone else’s hubcap off the side of the street for you.

I have now graduated to a new car with rims. Problem solved.

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