A Tragic Short- Keep Your Heels On

Rule number one: YOU DO NOT TAKE YOUR HEELS OFF! Classy girls keep their heels on. Just like when T and I walked 0.6 miles in Pasadena in our heels like I talked about in the last post. We were at K’s wedding this past Saturday and it was dancing time.

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We were all a tad intoxicated. Side note: I highly suggest to NOT mix tequila, vodka, wine, and champagne all in the same night. I was not feeling too hot yesterday. But that is neither here nor there, this tragic short is about A. A is probably one of the classiest girls we all know, yet she is the one who takes her heels off. She took her heels off at her bachelorette party and walked the streets of down town Palm Springs barefoot. Saturday she took her heels off and went back on the dance floor. Mind you she only does this when she is drunk, yet she still shines with class. Here is to A!

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#boyslogic- “because it bugs you”

Lately I have been going crazy thinking that my boyfriend doesn’t want to kiss me anymore or doesn’t like to. I mean it is like breaking his arm to get a kiss hello! When I finally get one it is like not meaningful at all. This has been seriously bothering me. I keep thinking I did something wrong, or maybe I try to kiss him too much and he wants his space?

That must be it, I am kissing him too much.

That’s okay, I can lay off.

I mean even though I don’t want to.

But like who doesn’t like kissing?

Let alone, who doesn’t like kissing me?

It’s okay, next time I see him I will let him kiss me first.

Alright I’m here! Just waiting for my kiss…

…Still waiting…

Boyfriend: “What are you making for dinner?”

WHAAAAT?! He asks me what I am making for dinner and he hasn’t even given me a kiss hello yet?! (metaphorical steam coming out of my ears- imagine it)

Fine. You want freaking DINNER?! I’ll make it, but not happily! I’ll show him an unhappy dinner. Frozen, cardboard, pizza crap!

Then he says: “You don’t even kiss me anymore.”

I just stare at him. ARE YOU KIDDING?!

The next week we went to Target to grocery shop and I waited for my kiss. He didn’t give me one first so I decided ill just get one myself. So I do. Then complain that he doesn’t like to kiss me anymore. He put’s his arm around me and says, “No, I just do it because it bugs you.”

#boyslogic

PMS- Psycho, Mad, Sad

Us girls all know that when you hang out with your girlfriends often, you all start to get on the same track, do you know what I mean? Eventually all of your special girl times will be right around the same time, especially if you’re roommates. My roomie and I are right on schedule with each other. It was so funny because last month our group of five, aka- the Fab 5, all of us and our boys got together for “Friendsgiving” and literally all of us were on our time of the month. One of the girl’s husbands heard and said, “Oh my god you girls are all PMSing together!” His wife quickly corrected him saying PMS is pre and we are passed that part, to which he responded, “Fine then you are all MSing together.” Boys logic.

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Anyways we are about in the pre time again and my roommate and I were texting back and forth today about how we were sad for no real reasons. She was saying how she is the only one without a guy and I had this absurd idea that my boyfriend didn’t even like me anymore. I mean he didn’t even text me back for like two and a half hours. I soon found out that he was in a meeting with his district manager. I then realized that I needed to snap out of my little funk because I was being a typical girl. PMS should really stand for Psycho, Mad, Sad because that is literally our cycle that recurs again and again until our time is up. We will be perfectly normal, then we will get a psycho girl thought like our boyfriend isn’t texting us back because he doesn’t like us anymore, then we get mad at our boyfriends for not texting us back, then we get really sad that he doesn’t like us anymore. After this cycle we calm down when we find out he was in a work meeting the whole time and are calm until the next incident sets us off.

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I was watching a comedian on Netflix the other night with my boyfriend and he said that girls are like rescued dogs and they need to keep them calm or they will get set off. I thought that was really funny because it is kind if true. We are not crazy, we just get an excuse to be psycho for a week without getting institutionalized. Boys it is best to just do what we say and get us chocolate and tell us that we are pretty.

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad

PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad PMS-Psycho, Mad, Sad….. Okay I’m happy now.

Who is the Real Gossip Girl?

Kristen Bell’s voice is iconic in her opening line of every Gossip Girl episode, “Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite.” How many times did this show have its viewers certain that they knew the real identity of Gossip Girl was Jenny Humphrey, Eric van der Woodsen, then Georgina Sparks took it over then handed it down to Serena van der Woodsen, then the real Gossip Girl took it back. Through all the drama no one ever expected the real Gossip Girl to be, WARNING- spoiler alert, none other than Dan Humphrey, also known as “Lonely Boy” by Gossip Girl, who is himself. At the end Dan confesses that he started Gossip Girl so that he could be a part of something, the Upper East Side’s world. After watching the entire series I couldn’t help but ask, are we our very own Gossip Girl? Was our generation so obsessed with this show and the idea of Gossip Girl that we don’t realize that in reality, we ARE Gossip Girl?

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In the show the only form of social media is the Gossip Girl site and Gossip Girl “herself”. She knew everything about all of the characters’ lives. How did she know all of this information? She was not stalking people, people would voluntarily send in “tips” of information about their lives or the lives of others. How is this any different from the “status” updates that we post or “send” into Facebook, or the pictures that we post on Instagram, or the tweets we post to Twitter? When the characters would look back into Gossip Girl’s past, they found their own timeline from freshman year of high school all they way through their college years and beyond. Our Facebooks act as that same timeline. From the day that we signed up and made our profiles to today we have been building a timeline, voluntarily telling the world about our personal lives.

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How often has social media gotten us into trouble? We are so obsessed with letting people know or see what we are doing at all times that we often do not stop and think about the consequences, we just think about the “likes”. Now you might feel cool when you get 100 likes on your picture at a party doing a keg stand, but unlike on Gossip Girl, scandals do not always blow over. Though it may not seem like a big deal, that picture can come back to hurt you later, say when you’re trying to get a new job or make a good first impression on someone. If they do just a little bit of research on you in the database that knows you best, they will find years of first person documentation written by none other than yourself.

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I am not saying that social media is bad. I myself have Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. It is the way that it is used though that makes it good or bad. My dad asked me recently why we post things on Facebook and I couldn’t really give him an answer. Thinking about it almost made me feel silly that I partake in posting what I am doing at every second to let my world know that I am eating pasta for dinner. I am sure that everyone really cares what I eat for dinner. The part I enjoy is how easy it is to share pictures and invite people to events and other useful things like that. It cuts out the whole we are going to take a group picture but we have to take it 10 times so that we can take it once on everyones’ phones.

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Again I am not saying social media is bad. I just found the similarities to Gossip Girl really interesting since I just recently finished the entire series. When used for bad we are Gossip Girl and we voluntarily put stuff on the internet that doesn’t go away that can hurt us or people we care about all for what? So we feel like we are part of something that isn’t even tangible? To be a part of a cyber world that then gives us something to talk about in our own real world? It is just interesting to me that we feel the need to connect in a way that almost is not real.

XOXO- Tragic Girls

Okay-Ok-K

There is a certain small word that can not only change the intended or unintended meaning of a text, but also makes us girls totally freak out. This word is OKAY and its various forms as OK and the infamous and hated K. How is it that we have created such different meanings out of a word that simply expresses approval or acceptance? In reality OKAY, and both of its shorter versions, should all share the same meaning. However, us girls have taken it upon ourselves to create our own meanings, and yes I say us and our because we all know we have done it.

So what do these tiny words mean now in a world of texting? OKAY and OK in my eyes personally mean the same. I don’t think anything different of the two. I myself always use the form OK. The only time this word would set off an alarm for me would be if the person I am texting usually uses the form OKAY and replied with an OK instead. Then I would know that something is up. The biggest culprit of this topic though is the single letter K. The subtext of this letter is significantly longer than the word itself, if you can even consider it a word. Guys use this as a response in two ways, both of which drive girls crazy and instantly make us snap.

The first way that guys use this dumb little letter in a text is when they are being lazy. Yes why don’t you shorten an already short word. Do you guys realize how lazy that makes you look? If you are a frequent OK user this means that you literally cut a two letter word into a single digit. This does not do well on defending your literacy.

Texted me K

The other way guys use this word is deliberately. Some of you know what this word does to us girls and that’s why you do it. It’s like lighting a fuse on dynamite. For the guys that are just lazy, you not only freak us out, but you are plain irritating. However for the those of you who use this word on purpose, you are cruel. When we see this word K as a response it sends us girls over the edge. Why do we get this reaction from such a tiny word? It is because we have absolutely no idea what you’re are feeling in your response so the first feeling we jump to is anger. You write K and instantly we assume you’re mad. At first we are mad too just for the fact that you wrote it, but then we start to think. That’s the problem with girls’ minds, we over think everything. Then this leads back to my discussion about us girls turning psycho because of text messages we can’t understand. Now that you’re probably mad, because obviously are or you would have had the decency to send the O along with your K, we must now think back on everything that has happened since we last saw you and figure out what we did to make you upset. This task is not easy. A girl’s mind is like a microscope. If we are over analyzing the letter K just imagine everything else we over analyze. We will obsess over this letter until we know that you are not mad at us by either over nicely texting you showing you how not mad we are, going over to see you so that we can see with our own eyes that you are not mad, or doing the worst and asking you and starting a nothing argument.

When girls find out that this response was out of shear laziness we have mixed emotions of anger and relief. Angry that we waisted so much energy and stress analyzing an imaginary situation, and relief that we did nothing wrong. But the guys that purposefully use this response as a weapon, girls go even more crazy over. This generally happens when you are already in an argument. What makes this worse is that the guy is actually mad and he knows the way to make you just as mad is to tell you K. This usually occurs when us girls are trying to make nice at the end of the fight.

“Okay so I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”- “K”

“Well good night”- “K”

“I’ll text you later”- “K”

They know that you feel guilty and they prey on it to leave you cringing that he is still upset when he probably doesn’t even care anymore. Shame on you guys.

The lesson here for everyone, guys and girls, is to just add an O whenever you feel like saying K. Bring some relief to everyone and spare a night of reliving the past couple days in hope that you don’t find anything that could have made the other mad. Okay? Ok.

Guys I’m curious to know how you feel when a girl responds K?

Baptizing of the Dress

My roomie and I have a box that has been sitting in our “dining room” since we moved in in May. I say “dining room” with quotes because we have lived here since May and still have no table to dine at. Anyways this box is full of our clothes that we want to donate. We say every weekend that we will take it but it still hasn’t happened. That is okay though because we keep adding to it and cleaning out our closets.

While thinking about my closet I decided that I was going to add a certain dress to that box. I only wore it once, in Vegas, with my ex. Since then it has been hiding in the back of my closet trying to avoid me getting rid of it like everything else that is associated to him. Tonight I grabbed it and told my roomie that it was going in the box. Looking at it I forgot how cute it really was. She agreed and said that she really liked it. Then I realized that I have absolutely no pictures in this dress. It’s practically a virgin! We decided that since there are no pictures and no proof that I ever wore it that I can wear it again and make new associations with it. But first I told her that it needed to be baptized!

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My roomie runs to her bathroom sink and starts splashing water on my dress saying over and over again “I baptize you!” Then we cheered! My dress is all good as new and now hanging in the front of my closet. You know you have a good roomie when she is willing to baptize the ex out of your Vegas dress. Thank you roomie! I love you!

Tragic Titles

Continuing on with my psycho girl discussion, let’s talk about titles, as in relationship titles. Why is it that whether or not having a title on our relationships affects how psycho we are? I experienced this before my boyfriend made us official, my BFFFF experienced it with her old guy, and my roomie is now currently experiencing it. This is a common phenomenon which actually made me feel better about my own psycho thoughts knowing that it happens to others. I realized that when there is no title girls feel no security. Sure you can be “exclusive” and only be dating each other, but that title makes a huge difference for girls. Without it we get those thoughts that yes he is dating me, but what if an opportunity arises with another girl and he thinks “hmmm we technically aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend.” We have all had those thoughts. Please do not forget that that is the crazy talking.

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It really is amazing how much of a difference a title can make. It changes the “he is not texting me back. What is he doing? Is he with another girl? Is he getting drunk around other girls?” into “my boyfriend isn’t texting me back because he is probably playing his video game,” like mine is doing right now. As girls we are possessive. We want him to be ours and we want to know that he is ours. We don’t want to deal with the guessing of whether or not he is ours. I hate the whole “What are we?” thoughts. When you are in that part of your relationship everyone seems to remind you that you aren’t official by asking you every time they see you, “is he your boyfriend yet?”, “are you two official yet?” You are only stressing your fellow sister out with these questions. This stage is awkward enough to be in, especially with introductions. What are you supposed to say, “um hi, this is the guy I am dating but he isn’t my boyfriend yet Dave.” The guys don’t know how to introduce you either so they go with what they think is right which is actually totally wrong and sends girls spiraling into an internal psycho tantrum by saying, “Hey this is my friend Jen.” FRIEND?! Oh no he did not just call you his friend. Honestly he doesn’t mean it like that, but he has no clue what he just started in your head which will potentially be an argument later on of you telling him that he just considers you friends, and he will not even remember the event of introducing you as that.

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Ladies as much as you can, try to keep the crazy in of how you feel not having a title. If you want that title he cannot know how psycho you are. Remember, let a little psychoness out at a time, guys cant handle it all at once. As for the title, don’t let it stress you out more than it should. Sure it’s okay to stress out about it if you’ve been dating forever and he hasn’t made it official. Sometimes guys just don’t realize that they are slacking. This is when you can let a little smidgen of psycho show and have the “what are we?” talk. This way you either corner him into making you his girlfriend, or you’ll know if that is even his intention or if you are wasting your time. Be strong girls and be openly psycho in small doses.