lifestyle, the.B.Law


Hi guys! Been a minute. I think I start every post off that way lately but whatever. I haven’t written in a while and that is okay. So, uh, what has happened since my last post?  Well let’s see, happy new year, I still have braces, and oh yeah, I TURNED 30! Still unclear how I feel about it but due to the near mental breakdowns over the last two weeks, I’d say it is going swimmingly 🙃.

I don’t even know why it happened. It started the week of my birthday (my birthday was on a Friday) as I felt each hour passing over the death of my youth. Dramatic much? You don’t even know. But I was in a straight MOOD. I was not ready to let go of my twenties. In fact I have made the decision that I am not actually 30 until I get my braces off, but if we are talking technicalities here, I will humor you and we will say that I AM 30 right now. Anyways, 30 just seems so adult, and like me… I am not an adult. Adults have like spouses and/or kids and drama with their in-laws. Meanwhile I am over here single, yelling at Pilot Pete on The Bachelor to get rid of that crazy betch.

I don’t even know if this is classified as a meltdown, but I myself felt as if I was melting down. I was so grumpy and on the verge of tears. It was like the sky was falling and I couldn’t do anything to hold it up. But alas, Friday came and I turned 30 and I didn’t drop dead so I have that going for me. Two of my sisters and I tried to go to Emo Nite in LA on that night to celebrate the music of my youth and we didn’t get in so….. not sure what that means, but I got to smell what I can only assume was fresh urine on the steps leading us up to Sunset Blvd so we could walk into a bar to just sit and waste that last hour of parking we paid $25 for to go to a venue we couldn’t get into. BUT EVERYTHING IS FINE. *insert My Chemical Romance lyrics, “Trust me, I’M NOT OKAYYYY!”*

The day after the failed attempt at celebrating, we REALLY celebrated. We had a house party at my parents house for my birthday and it was SO FUN! We all got lit and played drinking games and I was completely hungover the next day.

Then came Monday (enter dark cloud stage left)… the start of the second meltdown. I had crippling anxiety ALL DAY. It was brought on by something so stupid and trivial and was a result of me overthinking like the psycho girl that I am, thinking that I ruined a situation THAT ISN’T EVEN A REAL SITUATION. I know I am being vague and cryptic, but all I can say is, know your place in a “non-relationship”. The anxiety lasted all day. I barely ate, all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole. This anxiety, although lessened, lasted all week. It was horrible. This week we are better. I still keep getting little waves of anxiety but small.

Is this 30? For the week that I have been 30 I can say that I am not impressed. Everyone says how great it is but I think they just tell you so you are less scared, or they are just excited you are about to join them in misery. Either or. Who me? Cynical? NEVER 😈.

This may have been a very confusing rant, but you know what? If this isn’t a representation of a melting down 30 year old then I do not know what is. Bring it on!

life, lifestyle, Style, the.B.Law

Mexico: Part 3 – The Wedding

Saturday was the wedding, which was set to start at noon so we didn’t have all day to get ready. My older sister wanted us to meet to get ready at 8am. To my surprise I woke up feeling fine that morning. I will elaborate more in part 4, but the day before we got a little wild.

After waking up we realized it was storming outside, like BAD. When we got to my sister’s room you could tell she was a little nervous, after all the ceremony was supposed to be on the beach. Every time thunder would sound we made a joke and would do a drumroll so she couldn’t hear it. As we approached the final hour before the ceremony the wedding planner called to let her know they were going to have to move the ceremony and the cocktail hour inside. To be honest that really sucked. The whole idea of this destination wedding was to be able to have it on the beach. We stayed positive though and although the wedding couldn’t be where she planned, she still got to marry her husband and it was beautiful.

Luckily, and somewhat annoyingly, the rain stopped during the wedding, figures. So at least we got to go take a bunch of pictures outside in front of the water. Hiring a photographer from the resort was really expensive so I brought my camera and my sister’s friend took all of the pictures. None of us are professionals, but we took pictures the best we could and my sister’s other friend who is a photographer offered to edit them for her so it worked out. After all of our photos we had about 3 hours to kill before dinner so we all got in our swim suits and went to the lagoon.

My sister and I had a plan to do hers and her husband’s first dance before dinner down by the beach, and we also had a surprise for my dad that they could do the father daughter dance. Even though it wasn’t a traditional wedding I wanted to make sure that she didn’t miss out on anything. We used a bluetooth speaker and just held it as they danced. We even made them do a bouquet and garter toss.

Dinner was at the Italian restaurant and was great. The best man got to do his speech, which he told me he was going to wing so he had to go first so I could save the night with my prepared one (LOL!), then I did my maid of honor speech and made everyone cry, GOALS! It was a good night, but was about to get even better.

The club/bar on the adult side is Club Heaven. There is a huge bar inside with another room with pool tables and all that. On the other side is a night club. We got to the bar at 8pm and found out the club didn’t open until 11pm EVEN though all the lights were already on and flashing. My sister REALLY wanted to go so we waited around in that bar for 3 hours passing time… with games and drinks… and when I say drinks I mean shots. My little sister made up a game where we had to place guesses of where different people were from. Then her boyfriend would go ask and losers had to take a shot. Well put it this way, I didn’t win once. Finally though, 3 hours and like 8 shots later, the club opened! All of the “kids” went AND MY DAD. He was probably the craziest one out on the dance floor. There were not that many people dancing when we first got in, but we started our little dance circle and people were trying to join us! It was hilarious and so much fun. We didn’t care that we looked like fools, we were just having a good time and danced for 2 hours straight. It was easily the best night of the trip.

Last part will be all of the fun stuff we did like excursions! Stay tuned!

Tragic events

Caution- Bitchy When Hungry

How a hungry and frustrating drive goes for my Roomie and I. This pretty much sums up Saturday. 

 Me: What the hell, why is there traffic?

Roomie: Because idiots don’t know how to drive. 

Me: Ugh I hate Idiots. 

Roomie: They are the worst. 

Me: Oh my gosh look at that sign! The onramp for the 15 south is closed!

Roomie: No wonder there is traffic.

Me: Well what do we do now?

Roomie: I’ll check my phone for another way… Okay get off on the next exit and turn left.

Me: Okay… Oh my gosh why is this person driving so slow? GET OUT OF THE WAY! Okay now where?

Roomie: Left on Ontario.

Me: Okay cool.

Roomie: What’s this idiot doing?! 

Me: What a douche! 

Roomie: Seriously what is today?



Me: Why did he even think he could make that? People are so duuuuumb!

Roomie: Stupid.

Me: We are literally going to catch every red light. The party starts in 15 minutes. 

Roomie: There better be alcohol. 

Me: We need mimosas. MOVE!

Roomie: Oh look, another light. 

Me: Of course. I mean why would we get there on time? We’d rather drive around with all of these ass holes… “Details of your incompetence do not interest me.”

Roomie: “So I said to myself go ahead, take a chance, hire the smart, fat girl.”

Me: We need to watch that movie soon.

Roomie: Yeah we do.

Me: Seriously we are so close to the freeway! Why can’t we get there?!

Roomie: Because of this stupid ass Explorer in front of us. 

Me: I can’t even get around him! We are never going to make it!

Roomie: I just want that drink. 

Me: At least we look good. 

Roomie: Hell yeah we do!

Me: As long as we are the best dressed there then it’s all good. 

Roomie: We will be, we always are. 

Me: And we better win the hat competition because we don’t lose. 

Roomie: Oh we will, just look at our hats!

Me: True, very “hand me a mimosa” looking.

Roomie: Oh my gosh the freeway!


Roomie: GOOOOOO!

Me: Oh great, now we are stuck in the intersection because this douche won’t move up.

Roomie: Eww don’t honk at us!

Me: Move along people nothing to see.

Roomie: Finally the freeway! 

Me: Woooo we are moving now! 

Roomie: Why are there red lights up there? 

Me: Ughhhh more traffic?

Roomie: Is this a sign we shouldn’t go?

Me: NO! I bought a $30 dress for this shit, we are going!

Roomie: I think you need to get off soon. 

Me: Okay then I should get out of the carpool lane. Seriously? I put my blinker on before the opening and this lady is speeding up.

Roomie: Bitch. 

Me: Like really ,I can’t get out she won’t move. Great now I missed the opening. No don’t flip her off! Get your hand over here!

Roomie: I don’t give a shit!

Me: Thank god there is another opening. We are almost there!

Roomie: How many lights will we get stuck at this time?

Me: Good going, now we are stuck at one. 

Roomie: Look at this idiot trying to be cool in his Honda.

Me: Lame. What the hell I wasn’t even trying to race you. 

Roomie: Okay turn here. 

Me: Hopefully we can just sneak in. We have to park all the way up here. 

Roomie: Let’s just get inside. 

Me: Oh look there are the girls. Hey! She was just here, where did she go?

Roomie: Hey I’m back I got us mimosas. 

Me: Awwwww.