Caution- Bitchy When Hungry

How a hungry and frustrating drive goes for my Roomie and I. This pretty much sums up Saturday. 

 Me: What the hell, why is there traffic?

Roomie: Because idiots don’t know how to drive. 

Me: Ugh I hate Idiots. 

Roomie: They are the worst. 

Me: Oh my gosh look at that sign! The onramp for the 15 south is closed!

Roomie: No wonder there is traffic.

Me: Well what do we do now?

Roomie: I’ll check my phone for another way… Okay get off on the next exit and turn left.

Me: Okay… Oh my gosh why is this person driving so slow? GET OUT OF THE WAY! Okay now where?

Roomie: Left on Ontario.

Me: Okay cool.

Roomie: What’s this idiot doing?! 

Me: What a douche! 

Roomie: Seriously what is today?

Me: AWWWWW!

Roomie: OH MY GOD YOU EFFING IDIOT! GET YOUR GHETTO ASS OUT OF HERE?

Me: Why did he even think he could make that? People are so duuuuumb!

Roomie: Stupid.

Me: We are literally going to catch every red light. The party starts in 15 minutes. 

Roomie: There better be alcohol. 

Me: We need mimosas. MOVE!

Roomie: Oh look, another light. 

Me: Of course. I mean why would we get there on time? We’d rather drive around with all of these ass holes… “Details of your incompetence do not interest me.”

Roomie: “So I said to myself go ahead, take a chance, hire the smart, fat girl.”

Me: We need to watch that movie soon.

Roomie: Yeah we do.

Me: Seriously we are so close to the freeway! Why can’t we get there?!

Roomie: Because of this stupid ass Explorer in front of us. 

Me: I can’t even get around him! We are never going to make it!

Roomie: I just want that drink. 

Me: At least we look good. 

Roomie: Hell yeah we do!

Me: As long as we are the best dressed there then it’s all good. 

Roomie: We will be, we always are. 

Me: And we better win the hat competition because we don’t lose. 

Roomie: Oh we will, just look at our hats!

Me: True, very “hand me a mimosa” looking.

Roomie: Oh my gosh the freeway!

Me: ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?! WE ARE THIS CLOSE TO THE FREEWAY AND WE ARE STUCK AT A LIGHT?!

Roomie: GOOOOOO!

Me: Oh great, now we are stuck in the intersection because this douche won’t move up.

Roomie: Eww don’t honk at us!

Me: Move along people nothing to see.

Roomie: Finally the freeway! 

Me: Woooo we are moving now! 

Roomie: Why are there red lights up there? 

Me: Ughhhh more traffic?

Roomie: Is this a sign we shouldn’t go?

Me: NO! I bought a $30 dress for this shit, we are going!

Roomie: I think you need to get off soon. 

Me: Okay then I should get out of the carpool lane. Seriously? I put my blinker on before the opening and this lady is speeding up.

Roomie: Bitch. 

Me: Like really ,I can’t get out she won’t move. Great now I missed the opening. No don’t flip her off! Get your hand over here!

Roomie: I don’t give a shit!

Me: Thank god there is another opening. We are almost there!

Roomie: How many lights will we get stuck at this time?

Me: Good going, now we are stuck at one. 

Roomie: Look at this idiot trying to be cool in his Honda.

Me: Lame. What the hell I wasn’t even trying to race you. 

Roomie: Okay turn here. 

Me: Hopefully we can just sneak in. We have to park all the way up here. 

Roomie: Let’s just get inside. 

Me: Oh look there are the girls. Hey! She was just here, where did she go?

Roomie: Hey I’m back I got us mimosas. 

Me: Awwwww.

 

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