Today my four friends and I, we call ourselves the fab 5, had a Sunday Brunch. We all met up at one of their apartments at 11:45 and were all drunk within an hour resulting in us devouring an entire box of wheat thins, a tray of bear claws, a box of waffles, and eggs and bacon. The culprit of this binge eating fest I’m pretty sure was from the five of us polishing off three bottles of champagne (yet not even finishing half of the gallon of orange juice), two pitchers of this amazing concoction I made with lemonade, sprite, red moscato, and dragonberry Bacardi, and a half bottle of wine. Needless to say, we were bombed. If it wasn’t obvious by all the bottles and food out, you could sure tell when all the “I love you”s came out and we kept group hugging. Eventually we all started to fall asleep so I figured I should sober up to drive. My roomie is not in as good of shape as me. She told me, like she has many times before, to not let her drink that much next time, as she holds the side of the couch “spinning”.
About a week ago I got to get dressed up with my four girlfriends, we call ourselves the Fab Five, and we went to support our sorority as respected alumnae at their philanthropy event: Theta Beta’s Sigma Kappa Ultra Violet Casino Night. It was fun to go to but the part we loved the most was dressing up, as usual. One of my girls and I are pretty much known as legends in our sorority, not to toot our own horn but toot-toot, because I was President and she was Executive Vice President and we made an amazing team together. I am not over exaggerating either, one of the girls told my dad this at Casino Night. Anyways after a night of faux blackjack and we felt that we had made a long enough appearance and took the appropriate amount of cute pictures in front of the letters, we left for the next portion of the night.
We were all going to head to a bar in the next city over but first I had to go pick up my boyfriend from daycare, aka- friends house where I dropped him off to watch the USC vs. UCLA game. As expected he was drunk already and by the time we made it to the bar he was asleep in the car. He woke right up though and was ready for a drink. We got inside and found the girls whose boyfriends and one husband also met up. My boyfriend asked what I wanted to drink and I said a Dirty Shirley which he responded to quite loudly that I wanted a whore. Like I said, he was drunk. One of the other girls had one and it was a nice small drink which was perfect because I was driving. Finally when he turned around with my drink it was in a straight up goblet. I asked him what he ordered?! He said that he told the bartender that he wanted a Dirty Shirley and to make her dirty, which is why I am assuming she gave him a giant one. There was no way I was going to be able to drink all of it and drive home so it became a group thing with my roomie and one of the other girls.
After drinking my very Dirty Shirley we decided it was time to go as did everyone else. We would all see each other the next day anyways for our Friendsgiving. I drove my boyfriend and I back to my place, where he sat in the back so he could pretend I was a chauffeur, and he fell asleep again. By this time I had been in my heels for hours and my feet were in pain so I was so happy to finally be home. We were almost there, almost to the door when it happened. Mayday-mayday I was going down and I couldn’t stop it. My heel went on a wet leaf, which then slid into the drain in the parking lot and I ate it. I couldn’t catch my balance because I was holding my purse and another bag so I went right down on my knee. The drunk, non-helping boyfriend laughed and then asked if I was okay, and then laughed again. Bruised and bleeding, I would be the SOBER one who falls down. Typical Tragic Girl.
A huge app that many people have and enjoy today is Snapchat. This app is used for many different reasons, but I won’t go into that. Use your imagination. For my girlfriends and I, we use it to amuse ourselves and pass time at work. For example, sending five snaps in a row of yourself making different faces just to make sure we understand how bored you are. Sometimes my sisters and I will even have a competition back and forth of who can have the most chins. You know, all in good fun.
The makers of Snapchat added what they thought was a great feature: Snapchat Best Friends. This is convenient when you always send snaps to the same three people. You don’t have to scroll down and find their names every time, they are right there on top. You can even tap on your friend’s names and see who their three best friends are. What a great idea! Let me check how many people’s best friend list I am on. Of course I am one of my boyfriend’s, he just loves me.
Who is XOHotMama and why the hell is she one of my boyfriend’s best friends?!
Who has been asked by their boyfriend or girlfriend who their Snapchat Best Friends were? My boyfriend asked me as a joke but I think there was some real curiosity behind it. He told me that I had more guys than girls as my best friends. After he said that I told him that one was gay and the other was my niece’s dad. His only response was “oh”. I have had a few friends though where a real argument started over who they were snap chatting. This comes down to whether or not you trust your boyfriend or girlfriend. Especially with the reputation associated with Snapchat since the photos delete after you open them.
I am not saying that Snapchat is a bad thing. I use it all the time. I just think that it is interesting how another part of social media can have such an effect on our relationships.
Continuing on with my psycho girl discussion, let’s talk about titles, as in relationship titles. Why is it that whether or not having a title on our relationships affects how psycho we are? I experienced this before my boyfriend made us official, my BFFFF experienced it with her old guy, and my roomie is now currently experiencing it. This is a common phenomenon which actually made me feel better about my own psycho thoughts knowing that it happens to others. I realized that when there is no title girls feel no security. Sure you can be “exclusive” and only be dating each other, but that title makes a huge difference for girls. Without it we get those thoughts that yes he is dating me, but what if an opportunity arises with another girl and he thinks “hmmm we technically aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend.” We have all had those thoughts. Please do not forget that that is the crazy talking.
It really is amazing how much of a difference a title can make. It changes the “he is not texting me back. What is he doing? Is he with another girl? Is he getting drunk around other girls?” into “my boyfriend isn’t texting me back because he is probably playing his video game,” like mine is doing right now. As girls we are possessive. We want him to be ours and we want to know that he is ours. We don’t want to deal with the guessing of whether or not he is ours. I hate the whole “What are we?” thoughts. When you are in that part of your relationship everyone seems to remind you that you aren’t official by asking you every time they see you, “is he your boyfriend yet?”, “are you two official yet?” You are only stressing your fellow sister out with these questions. This stage is awkward enough to be in, especially with introductions. What are you supposed to say, “um hi, this is the guy I am dating but he isn’t my boyfriend yet Dave.” The guys don’t know how to introduce you either so they go with what they think is right which is actually totally wrong and sends girls spiraling into an internal psycho tantrum by saying, “Hey this is my friend Jen.” FRIEND?! Oh no he did not just call you his friend. Honestly he doesn’t mean it like that, but he has no clue what he just started in your head which will potentially be an argument later on of you telling him that he just considers you friends, and he will not even remember the event of introducing you as that.
Ladies as much as you can, try to keep the crazy in of how you feel not having a title. If you want that title he cannot know how psycho you are. Remember, let a little psychoness out at a time, guys cant handle it all at once. As for the title, don’t let it stress you out more than it should. Sure it’s okay to stress out about it if you’ve been dating forever and he hasn’t made it official. Sometimes guys just don’t realize that they are slacking. This is when you can let a little smidgen of psycho show and have the “what are we?” talk. This way you either corner him into making you his girlfriend, or you’ll know if that is even his intention or if you are wasting your time. Be strong girls and be openly psycho in small doses.