This year, I think I will just use “goals” in place of “resolutions”. After all they are goals, plus my resolutions the last couple years have not been completed so maybe they need some new juju.
So here we are, my goals for 2019:
Finish my course (which I will tell you about after I finish it)! This is my number one. It is so important I am even giving myself a time frame! End of March I need to have all three books read. HOLD ME TO IT!
Buy new car in maybe the summer?? Since my commute has tripled I have over 120k miles on my barely five year old car. There is nothing wrong with it, but I want to trade it in before it is literally worth nothing. Plus I would rather have a new car with a warranty than worry about a car with a million miles start to break down. Personal preference here. Plus I have had a car payment for forever so why not keep it going right? lol (also now I get to work local two days a week and I carpool at least once so I would be putting less miles on a new car)
Move out in the fall/winter. This is a huge goal which will totally depend on current circumstances at the time. If all goes as planned I will move out. I trust God will guide me to what I am meant to do and where I am meant to be. If it is not time for me yet, then that is okay. (You guys I literally daydream about decorating my own apartment all the time. It is going to be the cutest!)
Okay these next few aren’t giant goals like above but still important to me. I want to create more and better content for my blog and Instagram. I don’t want it to just be for cute outfits (don’t worry, there will ALWAYS be cute outfits), but I want this to be my space to be creative and be me. I think I have already started to tap into that this year with more personal posts, but I want to continue and grow with that. Also Tab and I have a ton of fun ideas for content.
This is basically the second part of goal 4. Not necessarily trying to put a number and pressure on it, but I want to get to 5k Instagram followers by the end of the year. For some of you that is chump change, but that will be almost double my current following and I think that is a good number to grow to (obviously the more the merrier).
Kind of another branch off of 4. I really want to go to places, like travel to places, but I am not in the position to do that right now which is okay. I decided I want to try and do as many “local” travels as I can. Places I can drive to if anything. I have already started a list with Tab. Some places include: Venice Beach (BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER BEEN), Joshua Tree (which us girls BETTA BE GOIN TO in March), the sand dunes in Death Valley, the Neon Museum in Vegas, and more! I know some of these might seem silly to some, but I am super excited about it! I would love to plan at least one “travel” a month but we will see how it goes. Please let me know any suggestions!
Aside from the blog, I have had a book idea for a few years now. I have planned some and have even started a chapter. It has now developed into a series and I am so excited!! My goal this year is to fully plan out the three books (using notecards as suggested by Tab who’s friend does it).
Second part of goal 7, I want to write ten chapters of the series. These can be chapters from any book, I just need to finish ten. The reason I can write from any book is because each chapter is a different story and as long as I plan it all first I will have the chronological order.
This year has come to a close so quickly. I thought this year would go by slower because we weren’t counting down to anything. Last year my sister was getting married so I had her bridal shower in April, her bachelorette party in May, and in June we all went to Mexico for a week for the wedding. Best vacation I have ever been on, I still miss it and think about it constantly. But all of those exciting things made half of the year go by so fast. Then when fall hits, the holidays follow closely behind and boom it is a new year. I thought since we had no big events to countdown to this year, it would go by slower. I was so wrong. I think this year may have been even faster than last.
It is no secret that my 2018 started off terribly. For those who don’t know, to put it shortly, I got dumped in the end of January (the 28th to be precise because I am a psycho girl and remember everything) and I lived with the guy. By March I moved in with my sister and I have been here since. It was a rough transition. It was a rough time of my life in general. Losing someone because they CHOSE to not choose you anymore is a whole different kind of hurt. Hours I spent in my car (not by choice, but the move tripled my commute) thinking of all the ways I went wrong or what I should have done differently, or how he just didn’t want ME or how maybe I wasn’t good enough (if you want the raw feelings of those days read this post from May). To see me now from where I was then, I have grown a lot. Some days are still bad but in different ways, I am still growing and learning. I have since learned and realized that what we had was not what I wanted, but what I hoped would change into what I wanted. I have learned that I should not have to make excuses for the emotion that was lacking, or the needs that were not being met. I have realized how much I actually need simple signs of affection and am deserving of that. I am coming to find out that it is okay to be picky and to be myself because I want someone who wants all parts of me (including the weirdo and including the psycho).
Something I have probably suffered from most this year was comparing myself to my friends and family and feeling left out because I am the only single one now. What is funny though is that this is all me because no one has left me out for being single (maybe that is one of this biggest things I have learned this year, that I am literally my own worst enemy and the biggest critic in the whole dang world). My friends still all include me of course, and nothing is really different except that I don’t have a date to things. But it is not like all my friends are the types of PDA couples who are all lovey dovey all of the time. I am so thankful that Heather’s boyfriend has just grown accustomed to me being their third wheel LOL! They even call their spare bedroom my room (you guys are da best and I love being your roomie/extra date 😉 ). I just need to work on feeling confident with where I am in life right now.
It was hard to go from where I was, to being single and renting a room from my sister because I can’t afford to live in the same city, let alone county, as my job (I am also letting my age play a huge factor in my expectations which is just silly but yeah). I would have to constantly remind myself that this was not permanent, it was just my current situation that I was working through. Not that I was embarrassed by it, but I felt like I had taken so many steps back. So far back that I was living back in the town I had left. But no one has judged me for it. Most people understand because California is so freaking expensive to live in alone. But since moving, I have come to terms with my current situation and I am okay. I know there is nothing wrong with it, and I get to live with my sister, who is one of my best friends, and get to be here while my niece is young and get to watch her grow and be a role model for her. Things could be worse, but they aren’t. I am with family and I am safe.
Now for some good things (sorry, I didn’t expect this to be a novel but I guess it is going to be). I hadn’t been single for a long time span IN A LONG TIME. After getting over the whole bad part about it, I started getting excited about the good. I had and still have no one to answer to. If I want to go do something I can do it, and I do! I wanted to focus more on my stuff, like this blog, and I have, AND IT SHOWS. All of my friends have told me what a difference they have seen in my work and content, and just being creative in general. I do this because I love it and I want to make something out of it. Having some real focus and time has made a world of difference (plus he-who-must-not-be-named didn’t really support my blog and thought it was dumb *GASP!*). [sidebar: it still amazes me how we can finally be at a point where we recognize all of the bad things and the red flags we ignored yet still miss them sometimes. Is it them we miss or just the time and the “comfort”?]
I don’t know how many times I just left for the weekend and went to Palm Springs to be with Heather. Or the three or more times I went to Vegas to visit my sister Tab, or the random times I call up Cher and ask her to hang out because it literally takes two minutes to drive to her house. I have freedom to be me right now and I am really starting to enjoy it. I cannot wait to really take advantage of it next year. 2018 was all about healing and learning. I think 2019 will be about learning and experiencing. I am ready to have fun, have adventures, learn and grow. What I am most excited about is all of this exciting stuff and tying it to my blog. It is all Tab and I have been able to talk about, all of the new things we want to do in 2019 writing and content creating wise. Which is why you may think it is funny that I am so excited for my blog in 2019 and I am taking the entire month of January off *insert puzzled face*.
I will still be around on Instagram, and using my captions as a form of writing and keeping you up to date, but I need a month to focus on something completely different. There is some studying for a course I need to get done that I have had for some months now, but I always choose to blog instead of study because obviously that is way more fun. I have three books I need to get through and I am not even half way through the first. My goal is to finish the first book by the end of January (or earlier if possible), then I will hopefully be in such a studying groove that I can bring back blogging in February and still finish the second book by the end of Feb, then finish the third by March (I will tell you what I am doing once I am done haha). I am thinking I will come back to the blog on my birthday, Feb. 7th, since that is kind of like my new year, right? Plus once I have this studying complete I will have even more time to focus on the blog.
Okay I will end here since this is getting lengthy, I hope you have made it this far! I am excited for tonight. I have NEVER been this excited for a new year but I am ready to take it on. I will post my resolutions/goals for the new year tomorrow and then I am out for the month! If I end up doing really well with studying maybe I will reward myself with a post, but let’s be honest, this stuff is boring so I don’t see rewards in my future. But here is to wishful thinking and no sleep!
Happy New Year’s Eve everyone! Be safe and talk to you next year!
You guys, New Year’s Eve is right around the corner and I haven’t even decided what I am wearing yet! I had a look all set and I ordered it from Nordstrom and AFTER 16 DAYS of it not shipping I finally got the notice that it was cancelled. That was 16 days wasted where I could have been looking for another look! Of course I want to be sparkly, it is NYE duh! I ordered a back up dress like two days before my first option got cancelled just to be safe. I got it last night and finally tried it on… I swear if I lifted a finger my butt cheeks would show, so that is getting returned. I have a third option which may end up being my outfit if I can’t find anything else. I do really like it, I found it on another blogger (@stylethegirl), but I was really wanting to wear my white booties and I can’t with this outfit…. I also ordered ANOTHER dress option BUT it was the last one so I don’t even know if it will ship. Ugh why is this so hard this year?!
Anyway, during mine and Amanda’s Christmas look try on haul (catch up here) we did a couple NYE looks too. Everything is linked below and I have linked some other fun sequin pieces! It’s NYE, sparkles feel like a must!
Nothing makes a statement like sequins, and I have been unusually obsessed lately (I already have my eye on a sequin jacket for my birthday). I have always wanted to wear something sparkly on New Year’s Eve but never end up getting anything and never end up going anywhere to wear it. This year I was determined! I found the perfect pair of sequin leggings from Target that were only $24.99! I wasn’t so certain of them at first but then I saw a blogger I really like post a picture on Instagram wearing similar ones. I went to Target the next day and bought them. After trying them on I was in love with them! I just love sparkles and wearing them really makes you feel bright and happy.
(My boyfriend saw them hanging up and asked me why I bought disco pants?! He just doesn’t understand!)
Anyways, I had my perfect outfit and finally had plans. We were going to my lovely friend’s, Amanda from Glitter it Gold, and her husband’s house for dinner and drinks. We had amazing burgers, champagne cocktails, and played Cards Against Humanity for like two hours. Finally when it was midnight, Amanda, our friend Stephanie, and I didn’t even realize because we were taking ridiculous videos, until the boys told us it was 12:01. It was a fun night and a perfect way to welcome the new year, with great friends… and a great outfit! Check it out below! I paired my sequin leggings with an off white long loose tank, also recently from Target, a black blazer, black wedge booties by Dolce Vita, and a statement necklace from Charming Charlie.