Practicing Patience

Lately I have really been realizing that I need to practice more patience. I seem to always be in a rush, even when I don’t have anywhere to be. For example, I was running a couple errands this afternoon and my last stop was Trader Joe’s. I got what I needed and was back in my car to go home, which is conveniently across the street. I backed out of my spot but couldn’t leave the aisle because this person pulled in on my side to swing in wide to a parking spot, which would have been fine except she was stopped and a guy was leaning in her passenger window talking to her and petting the dog in the front seat. I was instantly irritated because I couldn’t get out. I kept inching a little closer to make her get the picture that she needed to move. Finally she did and I drove by all frustrated just to wait in another line of cars being held up by someone else waiting to park. I was so angry, and then I thought, why am I so angry? The first lady who held me up was just being happy talking to a friend with her dog in the car. It is not like she was in my way on purpose, and the other car waiting to park, if I was waiting for a spot would I have not of done the same thing?

I have always been busy and always in a rush to get somewhere on time. All through college I worked multiple jobs and was involved in greek life, and if I wasn’t working I had to be at an event. Even in high school I had a job and was a part of two different teams. Now that I only work a full time job with a regular 8-5 schedule, it is like I do not know how to slow down. This is something that I really need to work on. How much energy have I wasted on just being angry for people moving too slow? From now on I want to practice patience. I feel like having patience is one step closer to finding happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I am a very patient person, I just lack patience with other people who move slow (if that makes sense and doesn’t make me sound like a total jerk). I need to slow down, enjoy the moments, and have patience.

Here is to a start, any tips or things that you do? Let me know!

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Tragic Confession #2 – Heavy Day Dreaming 

You know when you’re younger you dream about your life when you’re older? You know, great friends, great relationship, great job, and a home? Well I often still day dream about being grown up and having all of these things, but then I have to wake up and realize that I am grown up. When we were younger we saw ourselves having these things because that is what adults have, or that is what we think. No one tells you really how hard it is. Sure your parents tell you that you have to work hard and we get that, but it is not just hard that you have to work, you have to work REALLY hard. Come November I have been working for ten years. TEN YEARS and I am only 25. Yes I started working when I was 15, and am I any closer to being able to own a home? NO! Sure I have a great job and I know it can pay me well in the future, but getting to that future is difficult when you make just enough to pay all your bills and maybe go out to dinner once with your friends or maybe buy yourself a little something. I do work hard and have been working hard. I am one of the few people I know of (or maybe even the only one I know of) that worked three jobs through college while balancing 18 semester units and still trying to have a college experience by being active and holding executive positions in a sorority. I get the working hard part. It is just sometimes hard for me to believe the hard work paying off part. I have the great friends and the great relationship, I even have a good job that just isn’t up to its full potential yet and I know with patience it will come (i HOPE). But sometimes it is nicer to stay in this day dream that it will come when I am older and pretend that I am not “older” yet, pretend that I don’t feel behind and that I have not been working so hard for ten years for nothing. Sometimes though, this day dream can be heavy. I’ll reflect back now and again and wonder why I have worked so hard? Why did I miss out on so much in college to work three jobs and to be at this point in my life and feel like I do not have much to show for it, except for a nice car that I only have because I totaled the car I paid off by working those three jobs? Life is tough and you have to work hard for it. It comes easier for some, but I have learned and am practicing that I cannot compare myself to others. Everyone is different and we have to grow in our own ways. I just keep telling myself that all of my hard work WILL pay off eventually. Until then, I’ll keep day dreaming and working towards eventually.

One Year Blogaversary

I cannot believe that it has been a year since I started the blog. It amazes me how fast it has gone by and how so much has happened in just a year. Tragic Girls has really grown. There was about a month or two that I was slacking and just had plain writers block, but that is when I realized that I do not have to stick to one topic. From then I decided to expand. Why would I need to write about things that only pertain to the title of my blog? I decided that I didn’t, that this is my blog and I will write about whatever I want. This is when it got really fun and my writers block was gone. I have the freedom to write about anything I am passionate about.

The blog is just one thing that has grown over this year, the Tragic Girls, my roomie and I, have grown just as much or more. Last year we took a huge leap and literally jumped out of the nest together. We trusted that our finances were stable enough to make it on our own, and although we still struggle, we made it. We have learned so much from this experience, not just with finances and how to budget, but how to be more independent, and make our own decisions. Both of our transformations have been huge. I moved out, got a new boyfriend, got a new job, then another new job which is permanent, got a new car, and have learned so much about myself and about what I want. My roomie moved out, got two promotions, and is working toward a third. It is just amazing how jam packed this year has been.

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Even our circle of friends has grown. As I have mentioned in previous posts, two out of the five of us are now married, and one is surely to be next. Sharing these experiences with each other has no words to describe how amazing it is. Now my older sister just got engaged. Great things are just happening for everyone and I couldn’t be happier. This is such an exciting time in our lives and I have such good friends and family to share it with.

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Our next adventure coming will be different. We will be moving out from our apartment and will no longer live together, which is really bittersweet. I could not have asked for a better roomie. We will take everything we have learned though on our new adventures and chapters of our lives. Tragic Girl Headquarters is not disappearing, it will be wherever we are and whenever we are together. I am so excited for my move down to the beach at the end of June, and for all the new things to come. I look forward to another year as Tragic Girls and I hope you all do too!

XOXO- Brittany

The Home Stretch

It’s crazy to think that it’s already April and that my roomie and I moved in almost a year ago. By this time last year we had already gone through all of the searching for an apartment tragicness and had our hearts set on ours. It really was tragic looking for an apartment. No one told me it could be so hard. Some places we pulled up to, then drove right away. It took us I think four different very long days of searching. But now it’s April and we have to be out of our apartment on May 31st. It’s insane to think about how fast time goes by. The end will be bittersweet. I will be so sad to leave her, but we will be starting new adventures. I’m excited for this next chapter of my life. I’ll be moving in with my boyfriend by the beach! How awesome that I’ll be living a half a mile from the beach! Aside from the excitement of the beach, it is also a huge step for my boyfriend and I. 

Although the Tragic Girl Headquarters will no longer be together, it’s not over. I have plenty of more tragic events to come. As for headquarters, it’s moving to the beach so at least I’ll be a tan Tragic Girl! This next month and a half will be crazy, sad, and fun, and most likely fast. There are even a couple anniversaries coming up in May, mine and the boyfriend’s big one year, AND Tragic Girls’ one year anniversary! So A LOT of fun stuff coming up so be sure to be following and stay tuned! 

A Tragic Short- Dad’s Life Lessons #1

In honor of my Dad’s birthday today, I want to share one of his life lessons he shared with my sisters and I this past Sunday. He was talking about my niece to my older sister and about when we all have kids and when they want pets.

This is what he told us: “Girls just always remember, anything that lives, poops.”

Thanks Dad. We will be sure to remember that.

Out of the Nest

A couple of young people that I know quite personally recently got engaged. Now it’s all about the wedding and what not, and planning, and getting ready for the future. They have about a year and a half until the wedding so there is a lot to think about. One thing of great importance is living together and the issue of where and when. Both of these youngsters still live with their parents so while they may think that they’re so mature and independent because they’re getting married, they are still dependent on their parents for shelter and food whenever it’s convenient, and all of the other luxuries of not living on you’re own where you’re dependent on yourself.
I was discussing this issue with my roomie the other night. We talked about how we feel bad for the couple. As of now they don’t really intend on moving out together before the wedding, and not out of moral reasons, but to save money. Personally myself used to be opposed to living together before getting married because I thought that once you were finally married there would be no difference in feeling if you already lived together. But now I actually think it’s a really good idea to live together first, even if it’s just for a short time before the wedding just so that you really know each other in all situations and you know that your marriage will last. However this is not about morals or cohabitation before marriage, this is about being fully, 100% independent. If you’re not going to live with your fiancé before you get married then you at least should live on your own or with a roommate first. Many youngsters do not realize how truly hard it is to be fully independent.
My roomie and I were making light of this now that we have the hang of things, but we were reminiscing about all the things that used to be provided for us that we now have to get ourselves. Some of these items are things that you don’t fully think about being an issue when you move out on your own. Things like dish soap and paper towels. These things were usually just in your kitchen. You also need essentials like toilet paper and who would have thought that toilet paper could be so expensive. You really get what you pay for. My roomie and I have come to not mind two-ply. She found what she calls a “Mexican Market” in the mall that’s she works in and scored on a huge pack of toilet paper for like four bucks, WINNING!
Girls, wait until you’re on a budget and you need to buy your own tampons since your parents aren’t buying you the ones you like anymore. Yeah we went cheap once and got that off brand, card board applicator nonsense. That crap hurts. So we went a step up and got off brand, plastic applicators. Those still aren’t great. There are some things you just can’t be frugal on. My advice for you girls on what not to be frugal on is tampons and razors. Just get the good stuff or you’ll end up sitting weird and uncomfortable seven days out of the month with band-aids on your legs.
Everything else you need though my roomie and I have found suitable alternatives that are affordable. I know it’s sad, but a sacrifice is your good $20 shampoo and in place get the $1.99 Suave. Most of mine and my roomie’s, scratch that, all of our stuff for the kitchen is the generic brand. Our favorite place to shop is Target. We literally get everything there that we don’t even consider the Target brands to be “off brand” anymore. We have learned how to save money with coupons and the cheaper brands. We even get our dish soap and paper towels or napkins at the dollar stores! We have no shame, you have to do what you have to do.
With this we have learned so much. We were both pretty independent to begin with, we both just didn’t pay rent. Now we know how truly hard it is. We keep each other accountable for turning off lights and wasting electricity or paying bills. Even though we have lived on our own for six months now and have the hang of it we are still living paycheck to paycheck. Getting the hang of it doesn’t mean that you eventually have more money, it’s still a struggle. It just means that we have gotten used to living within our means. We have cut costs where we can and know that if we want to spend money on something that isn’t essential we have to save or budget accordingly. In the mean time we are both working hard at work praying we get raises so that we have extra money. I can honestly say that one of the biggest stresses that I’ve experienced was rent last month and the month before when I literally had to go a week on $10. I couldn’t buy anything extra so if I didn’t bring lunch to work, then I didn’t eat, and yes, we do have a stack of ramen in the pantry just in case.
Living on your own for the first time is not easy but it’s doable and takes practice, and good budgeting and planning. I highly recommend you live on your own before you get married. The stress of learning to survive with the stress of a new marriage seems like way too much stress to be combined. Trust me, if my roomie and I can do this, then anyone can.