Subtext Psycho

How many times have you told your girlfriends that you are having a psycho girl moment? For my roomie and I this is a daily occurrence. Some of you may not know what a psycho girl moment is so let me take a moment to enlighten you. A psycho girl moment is when you are having a thought that if your guy knew about it, he would think you’re a psycho and either be scared or break up with you, or both. Almost all of my psycho girl moments, like for many other girls, have been a result of texting. Texting can be so misleading because you cannot hear a tone of voice which makes a huge difference in conversations. Tone is how we determine moods, or emphasize words. Without it we are left to guessing which can cause a huge mess. Although texting is the biggest culprit of psycho girl moments, it still stands as our main form of communication.

Now what is an example of a psycho girl moment? I’ll give you one of mine. My boyfriend was on his way home from visiting his family and I was going to meet him at his place. I was trying to text him and all of his responses were getting shorter and shorter. Suddenly all I could think about was what I could have possibly done to make him mad. I mean he had to be mad at me right? Why else would he be texting me so short? He never had before? I must have done something wrong! I scrolled back through and read all of our texts from that day. There was nothing out of the ordinary and I didn’t say anything bad. Now I was really freaked out because I couldn’t figure out why he was mad because he obviously was.

I was so tempted to text him and ask if everything was okay. But then what if something was wrong? Or even worse, what if nothing was wrong? If I ask him what is wrong, and he says nothing, then he is going to ask me why? Then I am going to have to tell him that he is texting weird, and then he thinks I am a psycho girlfriend and it will start something out of nothing. So instead of texting him and starting a big psycho mess, I called my sister. I told her that I was tempted to text him and she pretty much slapped me through the phone. She told me that everything was probably fine and to just wait until I see him. Good idea. So I waited.

text vomit

When I heard the key turn at his place and I knew he was about to walk in I was so nervous. Was he going to walk in mad, normal, smiling? I just didn’t know!  I saw him come through the door. He seemed okay, just a little tired but that was okay, it was late. I asked how the drive was and he told me it sucked and that there was so much traffic. So there was the reason he was irritated. He absolutely hates traffic. After he put his stuff away he came up to me. He told me sorry he was texting so short. On his way to his family’s he had gotten a speeding ticket and he said he didn’t want to get another one for texting on the phone. So right there explained it all. What I took and exaggerated in my own mind of me doing something wrong that he was mad at, was really him driving in traffic and not wanting to get a ticket. You could imagine my relief. I also felt a little foolish for making up an entire scenario in my head, but not nearly as foolish as if I would have actually asked him if something was wrong.

These psycho moments are bound to happen. We are girls and girls are psycho, that’s just how it is. My advice to all of you though is to seek help when you are feeling the urge to act on you psycho moment. Phone a friend and talk it out before you doing something you regret. You need to hide and contain your psycho self deep down. She tries to come out and you must control her! My other piece of advise is to make sure you and your guy actually have real conversations on the phone sometimes and not just text all the time. It really makes a difference. Don’t get caught up in the imaginary subtext of your text that you created in your head. Don’t be a psycho.

Farewell to Retail

Until a little over a week ago I finished my last day in retail. What a long journey that was. Seven years and eight months to be exact. Do you know what it is like to work in the retail industry? You learn a lot about different people and you learn to have a lot of patience and self control. Don’t get me wrong I love the industry. Working in retail not only gave me a passion for style, but also gave me a serious shopping addiction. I was constantly bringing home new things to add to my closet and of course no closet is ever big enough. When I moved in May I had to condense my overly full walk-in to a small, one sided closet with sliding doors. You can imagine my struggle and the mess of clothes constantly on my floor. To be honest I don’t think that I have enough room in my closet and drawers to fit all of my clothes. This is why I hate doing laundry because I physically cannot put it away. Everything fits much better when there is a basket full of laundry needing to be done. Anyways, I am hoping now that I do not work in retail I will buy much less clothes. Except its been a week and I’ve bought about seven things and my excuse was that I needed it for my new job. I’m working on getting better I promise. Oh wait, I forgot I ordered a dress and a pair of pants too, they are on their way. But that it is!
With all this being said I now graduate to the next step in my life. I am going from a store to an office and I am actually really exited. I am learning something new that I can take to many different jobs. I’ve been training on accounts receivable and it’s been good. So I want to take this time to say farewell to retail, and no one deserves this farewell more than my customers.
Farewell to the customers who come in right when we open to return five items that they don’t have a legitimate excuse to return them except for, “I changed my mind,” because they probably bought them all to get free shipping on the one item that they actually wanted. You’re a joy to start my day off with. And farewell to the customers who want the large on the bottom of the perfectly folded stack of tee shirts and rather than nicely picking up the entire stack to get to their shirt, they grabbed the large and flip the entire stack into a heaping pile. It’s my pleasure to clean up the mess you leave.
The next customer is one of my favorites. Farewell to the customers who come in with their children and think they do not have to watch them since they are inside a store. I absolutely love being a baby sitter and not getting paid extra for it. You have really showed me how to be a good mother one day. For example one of my customers was so smart. She had a stroller with a baby and an older toddler who was walking, and she wanted to try some clothes on. That was no problem, we had a handicap dressing room for reasons such as this so women in wheelchairs or who have strollers can have enough room to try clothes on. So I went to let the woman into the large dressing room so that she could bring her stroller and her toddler in. Instead she had this great idea to leave her stroller and her toddler outside the dressing room so that she could have the big room to herself. While trying on her clothes her baby was crying and the toddler was running outside and hanging over the side of the fountain in front of our store. Some of the best parenting I have seen.
Last, but not least, I want to say farewell to the customers who will try anything to get something on sale. Customers and I will run into many discrepancies while doing a transaction. For instance the jeans I had scanned were $74, but the customer for some reason seemed to think that they are on sale for $20 and told me that I am wrong. I asked them to show me where they got them from. They walked me to the table that had two levels. The top level had tee shirts across the whole thing with a large sign clearly stating “Tee Sale $20”. The jeans were on the bottom row. I explained that the sign that said “Tee Sale $20” meant that the tees were $20. The customer then told me that our sign was way too confusing and that they don’t want the jeans and they left. There are also the customers that blatantly ask if they can have a discount at the register. When I ask if they have a coupon or a promotion code they tell me no. Then I tell them then no you cannot gave a discount. Lastly of course farewell to the tag switchers. The ones who pick up brand new items and switch the tag with a clearance item as if we do not know our own inventory, “I am so sorry ma’am but SOMEONE switched the tag on this item with a tag from clearance.” Or better yet if I catch it before I scan it I just rip the tag off and tell them that it is missing a price tag and I’ll go get a new one. Usually they decide that they don’t want that item anymore.
I could really go on and on about all of these fabulous customers. In fact I think I’ll start writing a book about them since there are so many, and I wouldn’t want to leave any out. Yes, consider this a preview of that book. These were just a few things to note that I will miss from my retail days. It was great and thanks to my customers there was never a dull moment. Ill be sure to add you all in the dedications page in my upcoming book. As painful as it is to leave, I must move on and grow up. If I am to ever go back to the retail industry it will be in a corporate office position. But don’t worry I’ll keep on shopping to remember the good old days. My closet is always hungry for more!

Furniture is for Peasants

When Heather and I first decided to move out obviously we were so excited and probably the only thing we could talk about was how we were going to decorate and how our apartment was going to be so “shabby chic” and blah blah blah. Well we signed our lease and had a month before we could move in so we started packing our things in our parents’ houses. We also started thinking about what we were going to need for our place. Both of us were only coming with a bed, a dresser, and maybe a couple nightstands. Great we would have furnished rooms, but what about the rest of the apartment? Our list of what we needed wasn’t big but it was all big things like a refrigerator, a couch, coffee table, kitchen table with chairs, a TV and TV stand, all of the stuff like that. We were trying to think of ways to get all of these things. It was getting close and we still had acquired none of it so our last resort plan, which was a joke but kind of not really, was a blow up couch, an ice chest for a fridge, and a fold out camping table for the kitchen table. Yes I know, we are so classy. But if it came down to it, we would have rocked these redneck ways. Champagne taste on a moon shine budget ya’ll!

Well good news for everyone, we did not have to do that! Before we moved Heather’s parents decided they wanted to get a new couch and that we could have their old one. They weren’t getting a new couch though until Memorial Day which was like three weeks after we moved in, no big deal. We could be couchless until then. Then they decided we could have it when we moved in! Heather your parents are angels. So couch was done. The next big thing was the fridge since it is kind of essential if we want to have food in our place. We were both in no position to really buy a new one. Heather posted on Facebook asking if anyone knew of a fridge for sale. Luckily one of our sorority sisters had recently moved out and she had a fridge that she needed to get rid of, and get this, she sold it to us for $50! Thank you so much sister, you are an angel too! We didn’t even measure it to make sure it would fit in our apartment. I just had my dad pick it up with me when we moved and we crossed our fingers it would be okay. It was, there is actually a lot of room on the side of it because it is a pretty small fridge. The door of the freezer actually fell off while we were moving it. We opened the trailer and my dad handed me the door and said “here carry this”. Awesome. But it works great! Besides the fact that the inside of the door doesn’t have a railing I guess you would say so we broke the mayo the other day opening the door too fast. The jar tried to escape and cracked a whole in the lid. It knows better for next time now.

Okay so now we had a couch and a fridge. We have been here for a month and a week now. It wasn’t until last week that we finally got a coffee table. Heather and I discussed making a cute one we saw on Pinterest but then finally went against it because we didn’t have time, it would end up costing more than we wanted, and if we made it there was a chance there would be no more blog since it required using a saw and we both wanted to keep our fingers (#wearenotcoordinated). We decided on a cheap $20 coffee table from Ikea. Last week I was going to pick it up but when I finally went to Ikea for something else I needed I didn’t have time to get the table so I told Heather I would get it next time. The next day Heather texted me and said, “Look what I found!” and sent me this picture:

Image How cool is that? It is like a vintage trunk! I texted her back and said, “Do you think it is big enough to be a coffee table?” She responded with an, “Uh yeah I am pretty sure,” with this picture:

Image Yeah that is freaking big and takes up her entire seat. So she brings it to the apartment and it is in her car for a good three or four days because we didn’t have a time during the day together to get it out. Finally on Wednesday we did. We were so excited to have a coffee table! Heather unlocked her car and we opened the door and started to take it out. It was a little more difficult than we thought. We tried a couple more ways but still couldn’t get the sucker out. The trunk was being stubborn!

Image Or maybe it was just too big to even be in the car. Her brother put it in for her but wasn’t there to take it out. It was so difficult. We had to roll down her window so the corner could poke out, and had to have one of us lift up and out while the other one of us was inside the car pushing it. Success though and we did it! Now it is cleaned up with furniture polish and is sitting right in front of our couch. It is so “shabby chic”. Granted if you put your feet up on it they will probably go to sleep since the trunk is taller than the seats on the couch but that is besides the point. The point is now we only need a kitchen table and we will be fully furnished! It’s only been over a month but who is counting? At least we have a coffee table we can eat at now!

OMG more spiders!

Heather and I were just sitting on our couch trying to watch the movie Tangled with my sister Nicole and my niece Dakota, when I looked up and I saw this!

Why is it so big?
Me: “Nicole, you’re a mom, you kill it!”
Nicole: “What? No it’s you’re apartment!”
Heather: “We have bleach spray!”
Me: “Yeah okay go get it!”
Heather went to the kitchen and got all purpose cleaner with bleach.
Heather: “Okay I’ll spray and you hit it”
Me: “Okay let’s do it!”

This is how it went:

Well the good news is we killed the spider! But made my niece cry. Spiders beware! We will poison and kill you! This same day we went to the store and bought bug spray and will be spraying every entry and window to our apartment. Tragic Girl Headquarters is no place for a spider.

XO- Tragic Girls


Wine Thursday? No That’s Not Right.

Thursday night and Heather and I finally had the night off together. We were going to snack for dinner and watch disney movies. Sounded like a good roomie movie night.
Me: “I’ll make the popcorn!”
Heather: “Okay I’ll open the wine!”
So I start making the popcorn, in a pot of course because it’s so much better than the microwaved bag one, and heather gets the cork screw out to open the wine. The popcorn starts to pop, Heather is still working on the wine. The popcorn is done, Heather is still working on the wine. I poured the popcorn into two bowls and salted it, Heather is still trying to open the wine.
Heather: “Britt I can’t get this.”

She had the corkscrew barely in the cork and couldn’t screw it down any farther so she took it back out. The cork was starting to look a little beat up. I told her I would try, maybe I was strong enough.

I took the bottle and the corkscrew from her and started screwing it in. It seemed to be going good. It kept twisting and twisting and soon started to seem like it wasn’t going farther down into the cork. Suddenly I felt something come loose…


I broke the screw off the corkscrew. I must have been too strong for it. We died laughing. But now what do we do with the screw? We couldn’t get it out of the cork and we don’t have pliers to try it. So now we have a full bottle of wine in our fridge with a corkscrew sticking out of it and we have to be careful to not cut ourselves on it when we get stuff out.

This must be why it’s “Wine Wednesday” and not “Wine Thursday”. Wine bottles refuse to be opened on Thursdays. We got a new opener though to try it again this week!


We will see how it goes. You know us Tragic Girls need us a drink! If we can open it…


Living on our own means that we need to cook on our own. We have both done our share of cooking when we were living at home. You know, pasta, sandwiches, maybe some chicken, pasta, breakfast stuff like eggs and toast, oh and pasta. Nothing too extravagant or creative. Well Heather and I finally both had two days off in a row together. We took advantage of this and unpacked all of our boxes. This was a challenge. We both moved out of our parents houses with our entire lives worth of stuff and are trying to fit it all in a two bedroom apartment. We did it though. I somehow managed to fit my entire walk in closet from my parents into my normal person sized closet with sliding doors. Don’t ask me how. Anyways all of this unpacking and we were starving and had yet to fill our fridge and cupboards with anything. So we went to Target, our favorite place, to get some food and essentials. We decided on frozen pizzas because pizza just sounded good and since we were both so hungry we each got our own sure that we could each finish the whole thing.

We got home and fired up the oven. According to the directions my pizza was 400°F for 15 minutes and Heather’s was 425°F for 11 minutes. Obviously to cook both of them at the same time we should put them both in at 400°F for 15 minutes. It only makes sense to cook Heather’s longer since it will be 25°F less than it should be, right?

ImageSo then why didn’t it work? My cheese is was burnt and Heather’s pepperoni pizza was literally curling at the edges. These suckers were so hard to cut and made a clinking noise when we put them on our plates. THEN when we ate them the middle was barely even cooked! Wife us up why don’t you. Pizza fail! This was our first meal together in our apartment. Ready for our second one? We skipped potentially burning anything and went straight for a delicious dinner of snacks:

ImageI mean when you can’t decide what snack you want why not just eat them all? No one was here to judge us. Oh and the other snacks not photographed consisted of Doritos, Wheat Thins, cream cheese, and cereal. Needless to say it was a good night followed by a little bit of a stomach ache and a food comma.

Please do not hesitate to share your quick and easy recipes with us. That would be greatly appreciated!

XO- Tragic Girls


Heather and I live on our own now. Do you know what that means? It means we have to kill our own freaking spiders. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? Our first night in the apartment last week we both go to go to bed and what do I see, a spider in my closet!

“HEATHER! What do I do?!”

“Brittany it’s okay!”

“We need to kill it! I can’t do it! I can’t do it! Where is a shoe?”

“Here I can do it since it is in your room!”

Heather grabs my sandal from me. She braces herself and smacks the spider and we both scream. She got it! Commence victory dance! Threw that baby in the toilet and flushed him to his grave!

Four days later while I am at work, Heather texts me and tells me that she just killed two spiders! That is three murders in a week, you go Heather!

“Heather you killed two spiders?”

“Yes and guess where they were? IN MY BED!”

Heather is up three kills so I guess that means the next spider I have to kill. Where are boys when we need them? I mean can’t our dads drive 30 miles each to come kill them? I guess this is part of living on our own. First step independent women, next step spider assassins!