Heather and I live on our own now. Do you know what that means? It means we have to kill our own freaking spiders. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? Our first night in the apartment last week we both go to go to bed and what do I see, a spider in my closet!
“HEATHER! What do I do?!”
“Brittany it’s okay!”
“We need to kill it! I can’t do it! I can’t do it! Where is a shoe?”
“Here I can do it since it is in your room!”
Heather grabs my sandal from me. She braces herself and smacks the spider and we both scream. She got it! Commence victory dance! Threw that baby in the toilet and flushed him to his grave!
Four days later while I am at work, Heather texts me and tells me that she just killed two spiders! That is three murders in a week, you go Heather!
“Heather you killed two spiders?”
“Yes and guess where they were? IN MY BED!”
Heather is up three kills so I guess that means the next spider I have to kill. Where are boys when we need them? I mean can’t our dads drive 30 miles each to come kill them? I guess this is part of living on our own. First step independent women, next step spider assassins!