Just as I promised, this is our first episode of The Adventures of Britt & Mic! If you do not know what I am talking about then catch up here –> The Adventures of Britt and Mic! <– But basically, Micaela (my sister) and I have been having so many fun weekends that I wanted write about them. There is never a dull moment when we are together! So here you go, enjoy…
Our favorite place to go on the weekends, or even week nights, is the Water Wheel Saloon in Norco. This is where we go to line dance. We started going so often that the line dance instructors and the bar tenders all knew us. Now this was back in like the end of March or beginning April. It was a Friday night so Micaela and I decided to meet our friend Wesley at the Water Wheel (Mic’s man was working weekends at the time so I was her weekend boyfriend and she was my/is my wing-woman to help me find a man… which has yet to happen but that is neither here nor there). Somewhere throughout the night these two guys start talking to our group and they buy us a drink, pretty sure it was shots. But they bought for all three of us so it wasn’t creepy. Oh you want to know their names? Well, that just isn’t the point of the story here is it…
Anywho, we are all chitchatting and it is getting late. Mic and I had mentioned, only to each other and Wes, that we wanted to go to Mavericks, the bar up the street. Wesley has to leave and asked if we wanted him to drive us up there. We assured him no, we were not even close to wanting to leave Water Wheel yet. So he leaves and Mic and I are still talking to our new friends. The conversation is starting to run a little slow so what do Mic and I do? What one naturally does in a bar, quotes Spongebob Squarepants DUH! Honestly who knows what TF we were doing but we did it with hand motions and everything. One of the guys tried to ask what we were doing and we told him it was from Spongebob. Bless his poor soul he tried real hard to know what we were talking about but you could tell he was lost. (Side bar: I am pretty sure I have mentioned this before, but we told my dad that we did Spongebob in the bar and he scolded me saying I will never find a man like that. Well dad, maybe I will find the RIGHT man like that, yeah ever think of that?)
It had only been maybe 15 minutes since Wes left and Mic and I were all it is time to go. We turn to the guys and say sorry fellas, but we have to go home, we have to be up early for a hike (which was the absolute truth… well the hike). They replied bummed and asked if we wanted to go to Mavericks. We nicely said no, we have to go to sleep. We say bye, thanks for the drinks, and quickly walk out the bar.
Our usual, park in the back and bring a case of White Claws. We drink a couple before going in, sometimes come out for another, it is how we roll… that and we are broke. So we go to the car for our last White Claws. Mavericks is so close we felt dumb calling an Uber and figured we could save a few bucks by just walking there. We map it out and it is exactly one mile from where we were and it said it would take 30 minutes to walk. 30 MINUTES?! We said nah, we can make that in 10-15 minutes. So we grab our White Claws and we GO. We get to the “side walk” aka, the dirt horse path, and we start HOOFIN’ IT.
We are about halfway there and we decide we should FaceTime Tabitha, one of our other sisters, but she doesn’t answer (loser. JK I love you). So we decide to leave her a FaceTime Voice Mail, and invention of our own making. We recorded ourselves, and sent it to her via text, genius we know (refer to IGTV for evidence of this message). Ever since that night we have made those a thing.
We finally make it to Mavericks. We are walking up to the door and an Uber cuts us off on our path to the door. Out of this Uber I kid you not, steps out THE TWO GUYS FROM WATER WHEEL. Mic and I stop in our tracks, look at each other with utter fear on our faces, turn around and literally run. We find a truck to hide behind and just squat down trying to hush our hysterical laughter. Tab calls us back and we are trying to explain and she thinks we are nuts. We don’t know what to do, we just know we have to pee really bad. Okay, we need a plan. We put our hair up in buns because we both had it down, and pop the colors on our denim jackets, you know to disguise ourselves because NO ONE would recognize us in this change of wardrobe… idiots we are. We walk in and make a B line for the bathroom. We make it, everything is cool. When we come out we see an open table in the middle of the place, perfect it is not on the edge, it will be harder to pick us out. We sit down and just stair at each other quietly when low and behold, who walks up?
“Heyyyyy” they say, “We thought you were going home.”
“Oh hiiiii,” we respond, “we had to go to the bathroom.”
“So you had to go to the one at the bar?”
“Yeahhhh, we just couldn’t make it all the way home…”
I can’t even remember what was said after that, but they obviously didn’t hate us too much because they hung out with us again. Mic and I did a few line dances here and there, and then one of the guys said he knew how to two step and took Mic on the dance floor. They were doing alright, not too shabby. The end of the song comes and he looks like he is going for a dip, which is pretty normal at the end of a dance. With him in the lead, Mic goes for it. THIS FOOL drops her on her ass. Just straight full body on the floor and he just stares at here and helps her up. Her face just reads WTF just happened. He apologizes and said he didn’t know she was going for the dip. This is when we realize it is time to leave. We call that Uber up and we dip. That was the fastest karma I ever did see.
We made it home, made it to bed, and did not make it on the hike we were supposed to go on, but went on an easier, closer one and named it the hangover trail because that’s what we were.