Ep. 2: The Rodeo

Sooooo episode two comin at ya good and late… I got behind and it just snowballed and blah blah. Anywho, LET’S GO!

Norco has a rodeo, or what they call “Horse Week”, because why wouldn’t they? They are Horse Town USA. So of course Micaela and I wanted in. Opening night and she, her friend Michaela, and I were going, and then going to the Water Wheel after because it was Friday and that is what we do. We drive up to the rodeo parking and we are like oooo Micaela go to that guy, he is cute. So Mic tries to head to his line and the older guy in the front stops us and directs us, “Here ladies go that way, go to that goofy guy.” We giggle and go, oh well. We tell the goofy guy the front guy called him goofy. He just put his head down and shook it and we all laughed and then he gave us free parking *hair flip*.

We sit in the stands and watch, nothing too exciting. After about an hour and a half we decide to call it because it was getting cold and windy and we wanted to go have some fun at the Water Wheel. So we leave (somewhere on the way to the car, we tried a shortcut requiring a fence hop which lead us to a dead end and we had to walk back and go BACK over the fence in shame…) and head to our normal back parking spot at the Water Wheel. Now that we were going to dance, this required an outfit change naturally. We put on our shorts, and the three of us decide to pound three White Claws back to back, you know, to jumpstart our buzz (mistake #1).

100% buzzed, we decide to go in. We walk through the doors and are so surprised. We had never seen it this poppin! Our favorite bar tender was there, Megan Fox (real name I can’t remember because we only ever referred to her as Megan Fox), so the girls decide they want a shot… a pickle pack GAG! I said I will take a shot with them but of something else. Megan Fox asked what I wanted and I said something pink and sweet. She comes back with a shot SO LARGE it was probably close to three shots. She looked at me and said sorry, she got excited I was actually drinking and went a little overboard. Bottoms up! We take the shots (mistake #2).

Almost immediately after turning away from taking our shots, some guy pops up and kind of word vomit asks/yells “CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?” I said uh sure and we settled on a cranberry vodka (mistake #3). We drink and talk and he says something about the class he is taking in college… poor kid that YOU’RE JUST A KID. Mic and I have to go to the bathroom and we tell him we will be right back. Coming back out we accidentally on purpose didn’t find him again. Sorry it was crowded (and that was going no where). We do a few line dances that we think we nailed but who actually knows because by this point we are 100% drunk. Eventually we (I) start talking to this guy. He was cute and nice. When he introduced us to his friend we just stared at him and then it clicked for all three of us girls at once. We basically all shout “YOU’RE THE GOOFY GUY!” He just put his head down again and said yes. Then in my head it clicks that I am talking to the cute guy I wanted us to go to in line for parking. So turns out, I got to talk to the cute guy after all.

If memory serves me right, I think the cute guy bought me another cranberry vodka (mistake #4). Most details after this are not so clear, but we hung out in a group. Then suddenly, I just remember spilling my water, like THE ENTIRE CUP all over Mic and I… I wasn’t even sure how it happened. I just stared at her in disbelief and we both laughed so hard. The cute guy (which earned the nick name “Horse Dad”) asked if I wanted another water and got me one (the next day I asked Mic how I spilled my water and she said she thinks I was trying to shimmy. TRYING TO SHIMMY PEOPLE, only TRYING. I wanted to die in a hole).

The girls and I suddenly have this great idea that we should all go to Mavericks. Horse Dad and I exchange numbers so “we could find each other” when we get there. Us girls call an Uber and they were going to drive to meet us there. As soon as we get in the Uber we are like no, go home, we are done. So I text Horse Dad that Mavericks was a no go, sorry but we have to go home. It took everything in us to not fall asleep in the Uber. I don’t even remember what happened when we got home, we just all put on pjs and got into bed. The night went downhill so fast we don’t even recall how. All I know is I don’t think we made it at Water Wheel for very long (yet another night we didn’t make it until closing).

Before this night, I had agreed to watch our niece the next morning. Our older sister was leaving early so I had to leave by 6:30am to be home by 7am. In my drunken state I remembered to set my alarm and I hiked myself to my car at the butt crack of dawn sporting my pink pjs, high top vans, denim jacket, and sunglasses. It really should be a fashion look. I had a RAGING hanging over and somehow made it all the way home. Of course my niece is already awake and I ask her if she wanted to watch a movie in auntie’s bed which of course she did. She watched, I slept and slowly died. I also had a meeting later with a girl I advise. I had her meet us at a McDonalds so my niece could play while we chatted. After she left I sat in an effing McDonald’s play place FOR AN HOUR letting my niece play all while I had a RAGING HANGOVER FROM HELL BECAUSE I AM A GOOD AUNT.

Meanwhile across town, Mic and Mich too had raging hangovers given by the devil himself which made Mic an hour late to her hair appointment with our older sister. BUT EVERYTHING WAS FINE.

Okay, story behind horse dad. He told me in the bar that he had a kid, which is cool, and cool that he told me up front. But I am not really looking to date someone with a kid. This might sound shallow but at this moment it is not what I want (if someone rolls along and it is meant to be and he has a kid then we will see when/if that happens, but that night, it wasn’t). But he told me he had a kid and I still gave him my number in my drunken state so that kind of made it seem like I was okay with it. I figured there would be no harm with hanging out and seeing how it goes, but we didn’t live near each other and life was busy because we were getting ready for Stagecoach so it just fizzled out.

So that is the dad part of the code name. The horse part is funny. He texted me saying it was so nice outside, he wished he was riding instead of at work. I responded with riding bicycles? Dirt bikes? He responds with a picture of him riding a horse, which is apparently his. I realized this guy thinks I am into horses. Probably because he met me in Norco, knows I went to the rodeo, and was wearing cowgirl boots to the bar? He was trying to impress me. Little did he know, but found out, I think riding horses is terrifying haha.

Welp, there goes episode two. There isn’t even any video evidence of this night because of how quickly things just rolled downhill. It was fun, the hangover hurt like hell, and now it is a nice little story.

Stay tuned for the next episode! I am not sure which one it will be yet, but I will pick one!

Episode 2 will be on IGTV tomorrow! Look out for it!

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