It’s that time again. A new year is upon us. The time when everyone sets goals and hopes to meet them. I posted only TWO blog posts last year (shame on me), and the first one was my 2023 New Year’s post, which if this title looks familiar, it is because last year’s post was called “Changing My Entire Outlook on Life” and you can read it here.
This year I mean it for real though, and I have compelling reasons to believe that. As you can read in my last year’s post, my sister and I talked about all the ways in which we wanted to change our lives. Over the past year, nothing really physical changed, so to most, it probably looks like I accomplished nothing. But a lot actually did change. My sister and I had so many therapy type conversations over the past year that involved so many self realizations. As 2023 neared its end, we realized that we actually were changing our entire outlooks on life and that the whole past year was a PREP year. At the beginning of 2023, we knew we needed change, we just didn’t quite know how to put it into words. It turns out, we were not quite ready for all of the changes we wanted. You always hear, “You need to work on yourself first”, and I truly get that now.
I realized a lot about myself. I don’t want to say DISCOVERED because I think I have always known how I am (I am far too self aware for my own good), so I will use the word REALIZED since I was actually able to say things out loud. Something I really want to practice this year is setting boundaries. I put so much responsibility on myself for others: for how they feel, their reactions to my decisions, and even non-existent conversations of how they MIGHT react. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHERS EMOTIONS. I have caused myself so much stress and anxiety over the years. Me. Myself. I do this to myself, and it is time to stop. I literally need to start chanting that I am not responsible for others emotions every day.
One of my biggest realizations has been I am NOT overly empathetic like I always thought, but I am an EMOTIONAL MONITOR. Because of this, I am always putting everyone else’s wants, needs, and emotional well-being before my own. It is so bad that I cannot even bring myself to say what I want on the simplest decisions like “What do you want to eat?”. I almost always say it doesn’t matter and want someone else to choose because what if whoever I am eating with doesn’t want what I want and are unhappy eating it?
I need to understand the difference of being actually selfish, and what I think is considered selfish. I can make decisions for myself and for my well being without being considered selfish.
So this year, I want things to be different. I want to slow down and be more intentional. Time is valuable and I so easily give my time to others and don’t always prioritize it for myself. When I finally have time to myself, I am so exhausted that I don’t want to do anything. As part of this, I want to really be adamant about having a better work/life balance. Not just by leaving work on time, but to not bring work stress home with me. I need to be better about leaving work at work where it belongs.
I am also ready to finally be a minimalist. I have accumulated so much stuff over the years that I don ‘t need. Part of my problem is I often feel guilt to keep things that people give me, but I am working on ending that. I have already started with my closet and donated three big bags of clothes. I have also already done one clean out of my bathroom and am ready to do another pass. I have been doing what I am calling “research” on both slow living and being a minimalist (by research, I mean following a few Instagram accounts on the topics), and something I read that really stood out to me was “Everything must have a home”. That is going to be my mantra while I work on decluttering. If my home has no place for it, then I have no place for it. I feel like being rid of the clutter is going to contribute to slowing down, and definitely contribute to less stress.
I am really excited for this year. It will be different than any other year, not just from the personal growth I have had and am excited to work on, but I have new motivation that I have never had before. My second and last post of 2023 was on February 15th. Three days later, I found out I was pregnant. Flash forward to today, my husband and I have a beautiful two and a half month old baby boy. His name is Wylder and he is our entire world. I not only want to slow down for myself, but for my family. I don’t want to look back and feel like I wasted any time with them.
Accountability will be key this year. My sister and I will have check-ins each month to ensure we are staying on track. I am looking forward to what the year brings and what my life turns into because of it. I am ready for changes, and I think this will be only the start to a great life my husband and I are ready to start for us and our son. Cheers to 2024!
- Instagram accounts that have really inspired me:
the.B.Law 